[Riley] Looking for yourself out there

[Dustin Kurucz]

Two weeks had gone by since that night with Riley, and Dustin was worse off than he had been before. He hadn't slept at all... not one second, and he was exhausted. The voices in his head that had before been screeching had no become unbearable nails on the chalk board. It was literally driving him insane. He wanted so desperately to go back there, to tell Riley he was sorry, to tell her he hadn't meant to hurt her, to tell her that if he could go back and change everything he would, and most of all to tell her he loved her. But something in his mind refused to let him go. He had tried so many times to go to her house like he had this time and tell her why he had done it, tell her that he wanted to be with her, but every time he got within a block of her house, something stopped him. His mind trumping his heart perhaps? Or maybe the fear of rejection? Who knew? But whatever it was, he couldn't get over it.

He was trying in vain to stop the voices, pot, heroin, cocaine, and drugs he could get his hands on. He had to make it stop, he had to drown out the never ending wailing in his mind. It was slowly killing him, the drugs and the voices. It was only a matter of time before he overdosed and killed himself. He was completely miserable, and out of all the horrible things he'd done in his life, leaving Riley like he had was the only thing he regretted. He needed her to survive. She was like his meth... just once wasn't enough. He was addicted to her beyond repair, and without her he would die. If he had hated himself before, he really really hated himself now. How could he do that to her again? She probably hated him now, and would want nothing to do with him. All he knew was that unless he somehow had her again in his arms, he was going to die... whether intentionally or unintentionally... he would end up killing himself.

He had just come down off of a high, and had a horrible headache that was threatening to split his head open. He wasn't quite sure where he was at first, but when he saw kids playing on the swings and such, he knew he was at the park. He walked slowly over to a bench trying to get his orientation back. He'd gone a bit high on that does. Dustin was on the verge of a serious overdose if he kept this up. There were probably enough drugs in his system to put him in prison for life...or to get an entire army high, whichever you prefer. He watched the kids in silence for a moment until he saw a little girl about three years old with black curly hair and soft gray eyes. The moment he saw her, it was like a force took hold of him and dragged him back in time to Shayla.

For sometime he just sat there in a trance, seeing and hearing nothing except the memory that was flashing through his mind. After several minutes had gone by, he was pulled violently from the past an into the present, causing him to jump slightly, as if he'd been shot or something of the sort. When he looked back up, the child had gone from his sight, and he lowered his head into his hands. How had he let things get this bad? Life was supposed to get better for him when he came up to the States, not worse. He was beginning to believe he'd made a mistake in coming up here. At least down in Mexico he hadn't hurt anyone. Now that he was up here, Shayla was dead, and he'd hurt Riley... how could he ever forgive himself for that? Riley was the only person with whom he had ever felt right with, and he'd gone and ruined it... when would he ever do something right?

[`Riley S. Hartmann]

For the two weeks they were apart Riley had been thinking up her evil plan. She didnt go out she had to work out every detail with great perfection, a single fault would make this un believable. Pen and paper in hand she had sat up in her room writing out everything. Hoping that it would work, if it didn't and he found out it was just a huge lie. She would have to leave Pinewood and never ever show her face again ever! That would be extremely humiliating, it would make Riley look needy and Riley hated to look needy. It made her look poor and that was just unacceptable. She had to look superior, on top, in control.

The only problem on Riley’s list was where to find this stealthy "daddy to be", or so he thought. She never asked where he lived or where he hung out. She said to herself quietly If I blew off an extremely hot girl where would I hide......... The stables? probably not the movies? Dustin didn't really seem like the movie type. The park, that’s it the park a usually quiet place. Perfect for a loner to hang out. Riley didn’t know what condition he would be in when she found him, if she even found him.

Riley went to her closet and pick out an outfit that sent out a vibe of depression, she had to look the part as well. Well she still had to look good, but she was wearing black. Oh well, decided to walk it made her look more vulnerable like she had something on her mind. The park wasn’t to far from her house. She walked down the side walk, looking at the ground she was rehearsing what she was going to say. Riley made sure she only wore her waterproof make-up, from years of whining at her dad she had taught herself to fake cry.

Finally she had reached the park, she rolled her eyes as the loud, snotty and bratty kids jump around like animals on the playground. She started to walk but stopped, she had spotted him. ‘Ok Riley you can do this’ she thought to her self. Fake tears welled up in her eyes and she rushed up to the person on the playground bench. She stopped steps away and said his name to see if it was him Dustin? she said you could hear she had been crying in her voice. A few tears were falling from her eyes.

[Dustin Kurucz]

The voices... oh god would they ever stop? Their non-stop screaming was starting to make him think he was insane. I mean really... who had two voices in their head screeching at them unless they belonged in an insane asylum? Maybe he did belong there... maybe the world would be better off if he was locked away where he couldn't hurt anyone including himself. He couldn't ever seem to do anything right. He knew Riley would never understand that he had to leave... and he knew that she would never believe that he really loved her. How could he ruin this again? Why was it that every time one thing happened to him that he could say was a good thing he had to go and screw it up by leaving or saying the wrong thing or not doing what he should have done. It was like he had some sort of disorder that prevented him from making the right choice.

He looked up quickly when he heard Riley say his name. For a moment he was at a loss for words, he didn't know what to say to her. He hadn't ever broken a heart like he had to Riley, and he didn't know what to do. He could tell she had been crying, and it killed him... it felt like someone had taken a knife and was slowly but surely carving away at the last shards of his heart that were left intact, slowly reducing him to nothing. The guilt was written plainly on his face, and it was more than obvious that he was in bad shape. Most of the color had gone from his face, and he looked like someone who had been diagnosed with cancer and had been given only a few days to live. In a way it was true... minus the cancer and the diagnosis. If something didn't happen soon to drastically change his life, he would undoubtedly be dead within the week.

He really didn't know what to do, since the only crying girl he had ever dealt with had been Shayla... and he couldn't exactly fix the problem here like he had fixed the problems with Shay. So the only way he could think to react was to react like he had before he'd fallen for Riley. Become passive, don't let anyone see through you... become unreadable. That emotionless expression replaced the guilt, and his posture changed from broken and hurting to invincible and intangible. Riley. he said in a flat tone with no inflection, and a simple nod just as a way of acknowledging her. He didn't want anyone to see that it killed him to know he had hurt her, that it ripped his heart out of his chest to see her crying. He didn't want people to know how desperately he wanted to just hold her and kiss her... but he couldn't... he would never be able to touch her again now that he had ruined everything. Welcome to the hell Dustin Kurucz calls life.

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[`Riley S. Hartmann]

Now he had gone back, back to the insensative a.ss hole like he was before. Cold, distant, angry at what Riley had no idea but he was like his old ways. But when he had showed up at her door he had showed her a whole different side of him. A passionate, loving, caring side but now it was like he didn't care about her. But Riley had a feeling he would be pretty shocked whe she told him. Riley wasn't sure if he would want to be with her or want to leave. Usually the guy would want to leave and not be tied down with a responsability like a child.

Riley pushed more tears and they slid out of the corners of her eyes and made their journey down her cheek, not trailing any make up Riley had made sure she wore her water proof make up. It was distracting trying to act with the constant noises of shrieking excitied children, the crying of babies, the low buzz of boring soccer mom chatter. She tried to zone them out and focus on what she had to do. He spoke his words sent chills down her spine. Riley had to make this work and make thsi believeable. So she walked right up to him and did what Riley never did, she knelt on the ground letting her knee hit the soil beneath her.

Looking up at him a few strands of hair in her face and tears drenched. Dustin..... I ....... She took a deep breathe it was a wierd thing to say ' I'm pregnant' It was scary to say even if she wasn't I'm ... pregnant. Then she looked down a little ashamed of herself, this was low even for Riley. She then looked up to him to see his reaction. Riley was not at all sure what to expect, she closed her eyes for a brief moment hoping he would believe her. And then she began lightly sobbing, not obnoxious wailing a light cry. She leaned her head against his knees crying into him.

[Dustin Kurucz]

The moment Riley said those words, Dustin's body went into a state of shock. Pregnant... oh god he didn't want to hear that. He loved kids... a lot... but her being pregnant with his baby... how the hell was he supposed to handle that? In his current state there was no way in hell he was ready for a baby. He was a druggie, an alcoholic, a murderer, he had seemingly random outbursts of anger and occasionally violence that he couldn't control, and he was about as far from being dad material as anyone on the face of the earth. He really wasn't sure what to do with this information. He couldn't leave her... he wasn't that much of an ass... but how could he raise a child when he could hardly take care of himself? He still felt horrible for leaving her like he had in the first place... but still, wouldn't she and the baby be better off without some criminal street trash fucking up their lives?

But here Riley was sobbing at his feet...how could he leave now? She was obviously scared, and he honestly was too... but he wouldn't let that show. Despite his best efforts though, he couldn't keep all emotion from showing through. He felt bad for Riley, and he knew somewhere deep down that he just couldn't leave her... not again... not now that she was pregnant. He wasn't going to end up like his dad or Shayla's dad... he was going to be as good a father as he could possibly be, and if that wasn't good enough, he'd just have to deal with it, because eh couldn't change that. His best was his best, and it couldn't be changed. Of course, he'd proven to himself many times that his best was far below the par, and he probably wouldn't make a very good dad...bur he would try... for Riley, he would try.

He let one hand stray to hers, and the other to her chin, which he tipped up gently so she was looking at him, the angry and emotionless expression gone. I'm sorry Riley... He said softly, somehow managing to keep the fear from his voice, I shouldn't have left... He knew that probably wasn't really what she wanted to hear, but it was all he could think of to say... and he meant it too. Of course, for one second he didn't think that she might be lying to him. He trusted her. Out of every other person on the planet, Riley was the one he trusted most. Oh poor Dustin ... if only he knew how his trust was being betrayed. Riley had no idea what she had just dug her way into. Dustin was far more complicated than he seemed at first glance, and she was going to find that out the hard way eventually.

[/size]

[`Riley S. Hartmann]

Riley, riley, riley, she thought she was so witty and smart. But the one thing she hadn't figured out in her plan, how the hell would she get out of this. With out breaking his heart, with out him leaving her high and dry. Yes it's true Riley was a huge b.itch, but Dustin brought out the best in her. Sh.it, she was going soft, when she was with him she was soft and kind. Her bi.tchy side was shrinking whenever she saw him or was with him. But she couldn't let him slip through her fingers, so she came up with this stupid lie. And Dustin was believeing it, that's the part that killed her. He was trusting her, and she was feeding him and huge lie.

As soon as he spoke a cold chill went down her spine. He tilted her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. Through the blurred fake tears she saw his face filled with emotion. Then real tears slid down her face, he looked so trusting and upset. But she couldn't let him go. What am I going to do? She said mostly to herself Ugh, She wiped the tears from her eyes and sighed. His warm hand was wrapped around hers, looking into his eyes. You don't have to be in our baby's life, if you dont want to........ She said in an upset voice. It felt like there was a lump in her throat and it almost pained her to speak.

Riley bit her lip hard until the skin started to turn white she was nervous. Was he just gunna say 'your on your own' and walk away or would he stay with her. But then she thought of the words 'our baby' Riley never dreamed of using those words. They scared her to death 'our baby'...... a baby..... her baby.... their baby. It freaked her out, Riley took the hand he wasn't holding and put ontop of their already holding hands. She looked down at their hands and saw two rings on their fingers she blinked and they were gone. Babies, marriage? what the hell was she doing? Riley was in love and she was ready to do whatever it took to keep him in her life, anything.

[Dustin Kurucz]

It was true... Dustin was going to be heartbroken when the truth came out. He loved kids... and that was being used against him. When he found out that Riley had lied about being pregnant, he was going to be miserable. He didn't normally trust people, but here he was trusting Riley, and she was going to betray that trust. She had no idea what kind of mess she had just gotten herself into. It would kill him to find out that she wasn't really pregnant. Odds were he would revert directly back into the old Dustin... the Dustin who hated everyone, the Dustin who was constantly considering killing himself. He had told himself for so long that he couldn't trust anyone, now he finally trusted someone, and she was going to turn that around and destroy whatever tiny shard of hope he had left of having a better life, of being accepted... of not being alone.

The truth of the matter was, Dustin was afraid of dying alone. He didn't want to die where people could hear about it, he wanted to die in the quiet shadows... but at the same time, he desperately wanted someone who loved him to be there holding his hand as he passed away. He didn't want to be locked up where people could stare, where he would be condemned to die behind bars, where his name would appear in the news paper as the inmate who died in prison. He wanted it to be a quiet death, with just the one person he loved there with him. That one person he loved was Riley. He wanted her to be the one... he wanted her to know him, see his faults, and choose to love him all the same. He didn't want anyone else, just Riley. Sure maybe it sounded selfish, but he was young, hurting, and had been deprived of love for so long that he really truly needed just one person to show him they cared.

Here with her crying at his feet, he felt horribly guilty... more guilty than he'd ever felt about anything. She was pregnant... he never should have left her. God he was such an ass. Why did she even like him? Then she said it... our baby... two words he never thought he would hear, and certainly hadn't expected them from her. He wasn't ready for a baby.. how was he supposed to support a baby when he could hardly get by with supporting himself? It seemed that she was going to have the baby no matter what he thought though, and there was no way in hell he was going to leave her alone to raise this child on her own. No, that was not a level he was willing to stoop to.

Riley... He said softly as he brushed away the tears on her cheeks with his hand, I'll be here for you... I want to be in our baby's life. If only he knew how let down he was going to end up... if only he knew that this was just the beginning of heartbreak. There was no avoiding it now... Dustin Kurucz was caught in the cross fire, and there was no escape. For the first time in his life, he was about to get his heart broken... and it was not going to be a pretty thing to behold.

[`Riley S. Hartmann]

If it were up to Riley she wouldn't even be in this position or saying any of this. When Riley was 8 her and her friends would plan out their lives on pieces of paper. And Riley generally stuck to that plan, going out with the cities socialites. And being a cheerleader, buying super fashionable everything. But here she was an eighteen year old mother to be. Well at least thats what Dustin thought. This absolutly killed Riley, finally he was letting her in. He was trusting her and she was just going to crush him.

The park was quiet all the children had seemed to have left, the sun was starting to drift towards the horizon. And the world was starting to darken. The street lights were bound to come on any minute, a slight gust of wind sent a chill down Rileys spine. Or maybe it was the fact that he was completely trusting her and she was lying to him.

Dustin started to speak our baby's life 'oh god' Riley bit her lip. He wiped tears from her cheeks, Riley grabbed the hand that had just touched her face and held it resting her chin on their hands she looked up at him. All these emotions were getting to her, it was getting late. What now? Does he go home with her? Do they go their seperate ways? Riley had to make a decision. She gracefully stood up and look at him as in 'are you coming?' Riley let out a small sweet smile and held out her hand for him.

OOC: Short as ballz! lmao

[Dustin Kurucz]

Even if Riley knew she was going to crush him, she had no idea just how badly he would be crushed... and how could she? No one knew how much he loved kids... no one knew how hard it was for him to see happy families... big brothers with their little sisters... no one knew how much he missed that little girl because... well, no one really knew that there ever even was a little girl. Shayla had been Dustin's life... he had made her well-being his obsession. The one thing he lived for was giving her a perfect life... and in an instant that was snatched away from him. Everything that he had been working towards was destroyed... buried in the ground with that tiny child's body. Now here Riley was... offering him a second chance... the opportunity to do things right again. She was handing him hope... handing him a life apart from the misery he was dwelling in.

Unfortunately for him, it was all a scam. It was the equivalent of a poor man who was saving up everything he had for his children, then falling for a scam online, giving out his bank account information, and losing every last penny that he had scrounged to find just so that they might have a better life than he did. She had no idea how hard it was for him to trust her... how hard it was for him to let her in... how hard it was for him to give up everything he had believed almost all his life just for her... because deep down, even though he wouldn't admit it, he was in love with Riley Hartman, and he would do anything for her, and that just made this betrayal all the worse.

He looked over at her as she stood up and held out her hand. He was torn on what to do. He didn't think he could handle living with Riley. Not that he didn't want to... or that it had anything to do with her... it was just... that house. It was so huge and ornate, he felt out of place... like he was the filth contaminating the sterility... like he was the blood that stained the bleach white shirt... it really wasn't his scene. But on the other side he couldn't just leave her...she was probably just as scared as he was (or so he thought) and she needed him to support her. After a few moments of indecision, he stood up and took her hand without a word. As if pulled by a force of nature, he gently pulled her towards him so that their bodies were touching, and wrapped an arm around her thin shoulders, just holding her perfect body close to his as they walked. She would get used to his silence after a while, he was sure... He would speak when spoken to, but actually instigating the conversation wasn't something he normally did. If she wanted conversation, she would have to make it.

[`Riley S. Hartmann]

Stood there for a brief moment waiting for him to figure out his indecisions. Riley knew it was hard for him that's what made it so hard to lie to him. Lie to the only person she truly..... loved. She loved him and even though it didn't look like it. She loved him with all her heart and all her soul and her mind was made up. It was like she felt like she had to lie to keep him around. When she thought about him finding out, she felt like crying. Just the thought of him feeling let down, betrayed, stabbed in the back. But Riley loved him and she couldnt let him go.

When he stood up and took her hand she couldn't help but let out a sweet smile. She slid her fingers in between his and squeezed slightly. They started to walk and for once Riley didn't have to say something stupid, she didnt have to say anything at all. Riley didn't have to prove herself to any one, right now she didn't have to measure up to any one. And it felt good, but that fire in the pit of her stomach was going to creep up sooner or later. The fact that she was lying through her teeth to the man she loved.

As they walked she rested her head slightly on his bicep. Letting it bobb a little as they walked. The street lamps glowed a flouresent orange and the stars were completely visible. And the moon was breath taking, it was just starting to appear the bright white light up the darkened, sleeping world. At last the crickets started to sing their song and the coyotes howling at the bright moon frantically. At first it scared her so she pulled Dustin closer to her. The coyotes seemed really close, she looked up at Dustin to see if he was concerned about them being so close.

[Dustin Kurucz]

To be perfectly honest, Dustin didn't even notice the coyotes, partly because in Mexico wild dogs ran through the streets and no one ever noticed. The people didn't bother the dogs, and the dogs didn't bother the people. That was just way things worked. He was more than used to the presence of their incessant yipping and howling... not to mention the fact that he still lived on the streets here in Pinewood and heard their howling just about every night, so to him it just seemed natural that they were there. The other reason that he didn't notice was because... well his mind was sort of elsewhere at the moment. He couldn't help but hear those words played through his mind over and over again... "our baby." How had this happened to him? He thought... no... he hadn't thought about it... he hadn't thought about it at all. It was like a nightmare coming true, and it scared him out of his mind.

He couldn't raise a baby... hell he couldn't even take care of himself very well. He was currently a drug addict, an alcoholic, a common criminal... he was a murderer for god's sake. What if someone found out and told the police? what if Riley found out and wanted nothing to do with him? What if the whole world found out and sentenced him to death? He hadn't ever really thought about it... but he was afraid to die... he really honestly was. He didn't know what happened after this life, and he wasn't so sure he wanted to find out. But something that he was even more afraid of was Riley hating him. Who could love a murderer? Who could love someone who had killed another man in cold blood? He was terrified that Riley would find out... he was perhaps more afraid of that than he was of being a dad, and that was saying a lot more than anyone could even imagine.

He was still sort of coming down off the high he'd just been on too, and a hell of a migraine was building in his head. Now that he was with Riley again he didn't need the drugs to try and forget her... but see the problem was, he would now need the drugs because his body demanded them. There was no way in hell he was going ot rehab. No, Dustin Kurucz did not need help from some therapist who thought they could figure out his problems. He was going to have to either do this on his own or be a drug addict for the rest of his life. He really didn't want to be an addict the rest of his life, but he had this eerie feeling that he wouldn't be able to get through it on his own. What kind of example was he? Their baby was going to hate him... he just knew it. He would be a horrible dad... but he couldn't leave Riley to do this on her own... not when she had come to him in tears. He just didn't know what to do.

It felt strange walking back to Riley's house, and looking up at the doors to the massive building. He hadn't really expected to ever actually get back here again, and it just seemed... well weird. Especially to be coming back with Riley. It sort of made him feel guilty all over again. He was like the little boy that ran away from home in the middle of the night and was brought back home by his parents when they found him. He still wasn't entirely sure about this whole situation. He felt out of place in the huge house, and he hadn't ever even considered living with someone. He wasn't one to take handouts, and just living in Riley's house... it made him feel like a free-loader. I mean yeah, he'd worked for everything he'd ever had and probably deserved a hand out or two, but to him it just felt... wrong... but still, he wasn't going to leave Riley... not again.

He squeezed her hand gently, still having said nothing up until this point. He didn't talk much as it were, and when there was this much on his mind... well you could expect some profound silence from him. He hesitated at the bottom of the steps, looking up at the house for a moment, before turning to look at her. Riley... He said quietly, not wanting to break the spell that the silent night had cast over the earth are you sure this is what you want? Of course he meant him being here with her... He didn't understand why she would want him there, but if that was what she wanted, then that's what he would do.

[`Riley S. Hartmann]

They had walked the whole way in silence something that Riley wasn't used to usually if she was with her friends they would all be chattering about who's hot, whats in style this month, which celebrity's were in rehab, when they should go shopping next or what parties they're going to. But walking in silence was nice, she was calmed by the faint sounds of crickets and the dim glow of the street lights. Her hand held his loosely as they walked down the cemented sidewalk filled with cracks and bumps, any one who walked on this side walk in heels would have broken their ankle already. But Riley had been walking in heels for years and was damn good at it.

As she inhaled the crisp night air refreshed her lungs mixed with the scent of Dustin. He smelled of pure sex appeal, it drove Riley wild. The moon light up the sky and made the earth glow as the stars twinkled brightly. Riley sighed she was as at ease as she could be, when she was completely lying to him. They reached beginning of her driveway. Deroda had all the light off except for the porch and had left for the night. They made they're way up the path past the perfectly pruned flowers and shrubs, and little stones with sayings on them like Live, Laugh, Love. ........ Love, it had a cruel way of ripping out your heart and shattering it into a million pieces.


They reached the door and Dustin finally spoke, did she want this. Well... if she didnt want this she would be back in L.A. party s.hit faced having sex with a different guy every day of the week, she wouldnt be lying to him that she was pregnant and she wouldnt have gone back to find him. So yes she was pretty sure that she wanted this. More than anything she said looking up at him with her big brown eyes. She smiled sweetly up at him, and a tear rolled down her cheek. She wanted him there with her to hold her but she hated lying to him, letting him think that he was going to be a dad.

She leaned into him and wrapped him arms around him. She needed a rock to lean on, and she wanted nothing more that for him to be that rock. another tear fell down her face and dripped of her chin. Riley looked up at him and instinctively pressed her lips passionately to his. Letting her hands grab onto the collar of his shirt pulling him into her. She bit his lower lip playfully and dragged her teeth along it then kissed him again. Some people say there is someone out there for everyone. And it`s clear that Dustin is that someone.

[Dustin Kurucz]

No one really knew where Dustin's silence originated from except for him. No one had seen the scars that marred his otherwise perfect body... or at least no one had seen the scars and bothered to question where they had come from. Dustin was the sort of guy who you could imagine getting in fights with other guys like him, and most people who had seen them probably figured that was where they originated from. In all honesty though, Maybe only two of the many scars were from fights, the rest were from a childhood of abuse which almost ended his life when he was 15 and being in a full scale prison at that same age where he had to fight for his life or be killed. He nearly was too, but somehow or another he managed to just barely survive. More than once he wished that bullet had killed him the night he was shot by that drunk policeman... but wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere.

He had learned quite quickly as a child that if he just didn't say anything, the beating wouldn't be quite as bad. No one ever listened to what he had to say anyway, and even if they did, none of them cared about what he was saying so it was pointless to speak. Ever since then he just stayed quiet most of the time. He'd been taught that he was only allowed to speak when spoken to, and even though he knew now that he didn't have to live by that, it was a habit ingrained in him by all the pain that had been inflicted, and it would be a hard one to break. He honestly preferred to listen than to speak, though on rare occasions he would surprise people by interjecting. He wasn't the biggest guy around, but he was certainly strong, and people tended to listen to him more now that he was older and could probably easily inflict great amounts of pain.

She answered his question saying that this was what she wanted, then before he had a chance to say anything in response her hands gripped his shirt collar pulling him to her, and she pressed her lips against his in a passionate kiss. For a moment he was a little taken off guard and instinctively tensed for a brief moment before everything that was so right about Riley kissing him took hold, and he slowly but surely relaxed. For a brief moment he felt like everything was going to be alright, and he kissed her back with just as much passion.

After a moment or two he pulled back, everything that was wrong about him telling him to leave. I'm no good for you Riley. He said knowing it was true and feeling the guilt of everything he had done wrong. I might as well be a fugitive, I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict... everything I do turns out wrong. I'll only end up hurting you in the end. Ah Dustin, such low self-esteem. It was no wonder he'd never made it anywhere in life. His "worthlessness" had been driven into him so much for most of his life that he believed it now too, and the pain that caused him was sure to end up killing him someday.

[`Riley S. Hartmann]

Riley had always had the best of the best. The best clothes, cars, shoes, jewelery, horses, houses everything. So she was always used to getting her way. Anything she wanted was hers, no matter what price or how difficult it was to get her parents made sure she got it. Yes of course she knew she was spoiled, and she had liked it that way. But now she had to find her own way. Since her parents sent her here it was slightly difficult having to make decisions for herself. But everyone had to take flight and leave the nest at some point and for Riley, the time had come.

The whole reason she was here at PineWood was because her parents thought it would be best if she stayed out of the public eye for a while. She was getting too rowdy and the press was loving it, A young heiress with loads of cash and a crave for partying. Not such a good combination and since her dad wanted to uphold a good image they were trying to hide her in some hick town in West Virginia. She is supposed to go back in 6 months, but she doesn`t know if its the right decision.

When they kissed it was like pure magic, like they were one. His taste, his smell his looks....... and his heart melted her. He was the rebelious bad boy and she was the rich party girl. From completely opposite ends of the spectrum but somehow they had this sort of chemistry between them that was stronger than anything that she had ever felt before. Riley knew she was only young, but she`s found her one and only true love. She wanted to say it so bad.

He pulled away and spoke, Riley bit her lip and looked up at him cutely. A drug addict? A Alcoholic? This caught Riley off guard but she played it cool and just looked intensely into his eyes and None of that matters because took both his hands in hers and looked and the ground then back up to him Because..... I love you. She just remained looking up at him hoping not to freak him out but she had to say what she was feeling. It was true she was absolutely unexplainabley head over heels in love with Dustin Kurucz. And she wasn`t going to hide it anymore.

[Dustin Kurucz]

The moment Riley uttered those simple words, it was like something snapped in his mind and this reality vanished and once again, in his mind, he was back in his nightmare of a past. A completely blank look came over his face, and for the first time his normally cold and guarded eyes became like a window into him, and all the hurt that he had been hiding for so long showed through that hard outer shell. For the first time in his life he could be read for what he truly was... he could be seen as the young man who was just hurting more than anyone could comprehend instead of the violent criminal for whom there was no hope. These flash-backs were practically a medical condition, though one for which there was no cure that any doctor could use. When things happened that had happened only at a few specific points in his life, he was hurtled back to the time when that happened.

At this particular moment Dustin was back, not to one of the many moments he spent with Shayla in her short life, but to the first time in his life that love betrayed him. He was about six years old and had fallen and cut his knee. Of course he ran to the house in tears wanting his mom to make it better... but when he got there, the woman he knew as his mom was gone, and in her place... in her body was someone he didn't know. Something about her scared him, and he was about to turn and leave when she saw him, and saw the blood running down his leg onto her "clean" floors. In a sudden rage she turned on him and proceeded with beating him. Confused and afraid, Dustin pleaded with her to stop, begged her, saying over and over again la mami te quiero...usted me duele translated "mommy I love you... you're hurting me." But she didn't care. The little boy was nearly beaten senseless before she finally stopped and left him lying there on the floor. As she walked away, the last thing Dustin heard was "yo no le adoro," meaning "I don't love you."

Dustin snapped suddenly out of the flashback after about a minute had gone by. His transitions from the past to the present were generally not very smooth, and this one was no exception. As if being shot or struck by some strong force, Dustin jerked back from Riley, his breathing quickened and heavy, his heart pounding in his chest. It took him a moment before he remembered where he was and who he was with. He closed his eyes for a moment, regaining his breath and stopping the trembling in his hands. He almost wasn't sure if she really had said that or not, and he was so shaken by what happened that he really needed clarification. wh-what? he asked in disbelief... though not in a bad way, more in just a confused way. The last person who had ever said those words to him had been the three year old girl now buried in the ground, and he almost couldn't believe that anyone else had said it... it was just a concept that he had difficulty grasping.