Lost sight, not heart

[Alex Lovasz]

Alex sat by the bed for about an hour just waiting. She not being an emotional person hadn't shed a tear. She just wasn't that way. Even though she was extremely worried and her gut was all twisted up. But she just wasn't a crier. The doctor came into the room. Which was a private room she made sure of that. She made sure he was treated the best. Of course she wouldn't tell him that because of the little thing all guys have. Pride. She knew he wouldn't like her paying for him. The Doctor checked all his bandaging and looked to Alex. He should heal quickly but he's going to have to stay off of the horse for a while. She sighed "Thats not going to be easy" The docotr smiled and nodded then walked over to her side of the bed. He put his hand on her shoulder. "He's gunna be ok....... How do you know him?" He smiled down at her and she looked up at him. "We're just friends" it was the truth but she had only just met him that morning. It was already about 8 at night. It was crazy how fast the time flew by.

Her heart had plumeted when this happened she knew there was nothing she could do and she hated that feeling. She wanted something to do something that would help. But no she had to just sit there an hope everything was going to be okay. She knew when he came too that he wasn't goin to be happy about being her as he expressed earlier how he hated the doctors and how they didn't know what they were doing. So she would have to do her best to keep him from just walking out.

She sat and stared out the window thinking about King hoping he was ok. He had seemed so distraught when she went to see him. The flashy race horse in him seemed to have faded away and he seemed like a fit but shlumpy trail horse. It broke her heart. But she knew it had to be that way or he would be a danger to himself and the vet and his assistants. Part of her was glad she was there because if she hadn't been no one would have been there to call the hospital or the vet. But she also thought that if she hadn't of brought Loco out of his stall most of this probably wouldn't have happened. But she figured there was no use in feeling guilty because it was done now and she couldn't change anything.

She noticed him stirring and stood up looking down on him smiling. He seemed upset and confused. But more confused. She looked down concerned. A smile creeped over her face as he spoke. She shook her head. "You're not an idiot" But her concern came back when he asked what had happened and why he was there. Did he have amnesia or was he just trying to block the experience out subconsciously. "We were at the old track and a bird spooked King.....He shied rammed into the inside rail. You guys tumbled over and he landed on you.... She found herself having to take deep breaths to keep herself relaxed. She knew her stress and worry wasn't going to help his any. Plus she didn't really want to remember the scene. but it kept replaying over and over and over in her head. She was so glad he was ok.

[Anthony Lovasz]

He had figured he'd been at the track. The only time he had ever managed to get himself injured to the point where they thought he would need hospitalization was doing something on the track. The first time had been in Mexico, when the mistrust of doctors all began. He'd been on the speed horse, who wasn't expected to win at all. He was just supposed to run the competition down so that his mount's stablemate could have a better chance at winning. When they entered the clubhouse turn though, his horse had tripped and thrown him into the path of the rest of the field. Somehow, he'd managed to walk out of that one with only a broken shoulder. Surgery to fix this injury had been unavoidable, and he'd been admitted the next day. Although the doctors had fixed the broken bones, they had somehow or another managed to screw up the muscle over his shoulder, which now prevented him from lifting his right arm above his head without pain. He'd been in several accidents since then, though this and the Santa Anita had been the most dramatic of them all.

The moment Alex said the name King though, it all came flooding back. He'd met Alex that morning after King's morning workout, and he'd invited her to come see King's next workout later that day. She'd brought her horse out...Loco...and all had been fine until King started having a "blind horse moment." Alex had looked away for a moment and Loco had attacked him...sort of....well, he'd gotten the horse's teeth embedded in his arm anyway. Later they'd gone out to the track, and that's when it had all gone down. Yes, he remembered now...how could he have forgotten?

He was still rather concerned about the morphine, but there wasn't much he could do about it at this point. He still didn't want to say anything about the genetic dependency though, if he ended up needing someone's help with the problem later, he'd ask for it...maybe. His mind was still slightly fogged over from the anesthesia in surgery and the morphine, so he was still having some difficulty in piecing everything together and thinking straight. Lord how he hated hospitals. If he could help it, this was the last time he'd ever be coming into one, and he was going to get himself discharged as soon as he possibly could. He didn't really care if they thought he needed to stay longer...heck, if he could, he'd get up right then and there and leave. Unfortunately for him, that wasn't anywhere near realistic.

Not the first time that's happened. He said, smiling weakly. They managed to get him into the vet without killing anyone? He asked then, of the horse. He knew King, he knew that the horse undoubtedly would have put up a huge fight unless they'd drugged him...even then they would have had problems. He took to sedation a lot faster than most horses, which they probably didn't know before they'd sedated him. He could see it now, "Blind racehorse kills veterinarian." Wouldn't that be a great headline for their reputation. Anthony was already being called crazy for riding the blind horse on the track, and King was already thought to be a violent horse, that would only make things worse.

The drugs were starting to take their toll, and a sick feeling was starting to overcome him. He closed his eyes slowly against the feeling, and is subsided slightly, but it was being replaced by pain. Morphine had more of a negative affect on him. It would kill pain for a while, and then only increase it. His breathing became heavier as his body resisted the pain that was being forced on him. Let the difficulties begin. He would be in greater pain with the drug being injected in him, but now that it had begun to circulate, even for only those few hours, he would start having withdrawals if it was removed. He wasn't sure which was worse. Pain he could only handle for so long, but if he didn't have someone there to help him through resisting the need for the drug, that could possibly kill him too. Who did he have who wouldn't give up on him?

[mahad]

Alex sat back down and took a deep breath. She smiled weakly trying to be confident but she could tell there was something wrong. She knew he needed the medical assistance but had a bad feeling about him being here. It could have been just the fact that she knew he hated the doctors and would do his best to walk out of there as soon as possible despite their warnings. She gulped back her worries. Heck she had only known this guy for a few hours. But she felt like they had known each other their whole lives. She felt a bond with him. He was the only other race fanatic in Pinewood.

Her heart went out to him and King she felt somewhat responsible. She knew there wasn't anything she could have done but she still felt guilty. She looked into his gorgeous brown eyes feeling attracted to him but she passed it off as heat of passion do to the crazy events that were happening. She couldn't help but smile at him. Her blonde curly bangs sweeped infront of her face but she ignored them. Her stomach felt tight and she felt nauseous but she knew she wasn't sick. She tried to put it out of her head but it bothered her. What was this that she was feeling?

She laughed a little at his comment and smiled. But when he brought up King it just brought even more worry into her eyes. She couldn't help it she was a woman thats what they do. They worry. Her blue eyes should it too despite her attempt to hide it for him. "Suprisingly yes. They did have some issues but he's doing better now." She tried to smile but she couldn't she felt horrible. For the both of them. King was a great horse who didn't need all this stress along with his blindness. And Anthony.... Well they had both been through so much already. And now they would have to start all over again.

She looked away from him out the window but quickly turned back. He seemed to be fading. her heart started to pound in her chest feeling like it was going to jump right out from her. Her eyes widened and with out even know she had done it she grabbed his hand in hers. She didn't know what was happening. But his heart beat was regular. So she tried to relax. "He's just sleeping" She tried to convince herself. She watched him carefully still holding his hand. She didn't know what to do. But this feeling still hung over her. She didn't know what it was... Was it guilt? Was it worry? Was it horror?......Was it.....Love?.......

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony smiled through the pain...or at least tried to upon her answer.. It was so consuming, so nauseating. He was trying to fight it, but this was one battle he couldn't win. With the drug being constantly injected into him the pain was continually intensified. Curse this drug dependency. If only his parents hadn't gone and gotten into drugs in the first place...but then again, if it weren't for the drugs, he'd never have been born. The two of them had gotten themselves high and completely doped up and it had all happened, and Anthony had been born. Imagine that.

He felt her hand close around his, and he forgot the pain for a moment. That grip was the same one that he had felt right after King had come down on him. These were the same hands that had undone the helmet strap and had been around him before the EMT's had come. This was the same hand that had held his all the way to the hospital in the ambulance. She was the same girl who had been there with him and King the entire time during this catastrophe. She was the one who wasn't giving up on him...she was the one who was there for him.

His other hand drifted over to the one she held, the one the IV of morphine was injected into. He forced his eyes back open as he reached the IV. He undid the tape that held the needle into the vein in the crook of his arm, and quickly pulled the needle out. He let it fall to the floor, and pressed his thumb over the spot where the needle had been in his arm to prevent it from bleeding all over the place. Until the morphine wore off in a few hours, he would be in extreme pain, but it wouldn't be increased anymore. He looked towards Alex, noticing for the first time that she was really quite pretty...more than pretty...gorgeous was more along the lines he was thinking.

He managed to conjure up the strength to wrap his hand around hers and squeeze it lightly. I'll be alright, He said, hoping it was convincing. What he said next came without him even thinking, without him really even meaning to say it. as long as you're here with me. Crud...he had just said that out loud hadn't he? Well, it was true...and there was no going back now. He'd said it, it was out there, she'd heard him, and he was just going to have to deal with it and hoped she reacted positively. He wasn't sure what he'd do if she left him here...if she left him at all. He honestly hadn't felt this way for anyone since before Tristanne had been killed in the car accident. Could it be he was finding that someone he needed to complete him?

[Alex Lovasz]

She watched him struggle and felt a strong pang on her heart she wanted to make it better to take away all the pain. But she couldn't. She clenched her eyes shut and turned away from him, but still kept a good grip on his hand. When she looked up she saw his other hand reaching over and saw his eyes open. She looked at him worriedly. What the Hell was he doing?!?! Her eyes widened as he pulled the tape and then the needle. She flinched as it hit the ground. She looked into his eyes and her hand gripped his tighter.


She didn't know why he had done it or what she was supposed to do. "What are you doing?" Her heart hurt. It hurt for him because with out the morphine she knew a bunch of pain would swarm over him and that was the last thing she wanted. Her eyes burned but she didn't know why. She wasn't going to cry.. She never cried...at least not since she was 13. She couldn't possibly be about to cry. She took a deep breath. No she wasn't going to.

She attempted to smile to convince him she believed him but she wasn't so sure. She wanted to believe him but it was so hard. How could he possibly be ok after he just took out the pain killer. And then she froze in shock. As long as you're here with me His words hit her hard. But instead of running away she smiled a true smile and nodded slightly. "I'm not going anywhere." She had no intentions of leaving him in the condition not even if the doctors told her to.

She knew the doctors would be back to check on him so she picked up the needle and placed it over his arm but not in the skin and tapped it over it. She knew there was a reason why he took out the morphine and she trusted him more then the doctors so she didn't want them shoving the needle back into him. She smirked at him wirely. Yeah she had a few tricks up her sleeve. She was there for him and no one else.

She smiled at him and looked into his brown eyes with her blue. He was so... There were no words to describe it. She knew she just met him but for some reason she felt a strong bond with him. Stronger then just friends. She felt foolish for thinking so but it was altogether possible that she was falling for him. She never thought she would ever fall in love with someone, mainly because she was so obsessed with work and racing and no one understood that. At least none of her previous boyfriends. BUt Anthony was different. They had something in commen. A passion for racing. She didn't want to say or even think it but she felt like she was falling in...Love. And she knew that they were going to get him through this together...

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony caught the look of worry on her face as he jerked the needle out of his arm and let it fall. He supposed he should have expected her to react that way, but he really almost didn't want her to. He didn't want her to worry about him. After seeing her reaction, he expected the question. Once again, he attempted a smile. It always just seemed so natural, he always found something to smile about, to laugh about, but all the drugs the doctors had him doped up on were keeping him from being able to do much of anything that he normally did. No doubt they'd demand that he stay off the back of a horse for something like six months...yeah right, like that was going to happen. There was no way he was going to be grounded again like that. He'd hardly been riding for six months after taking a year off, and he wasn't about to torture himself like that again.

I've got... He started, cut off by a strangling wave of pain. I've got genetic drug dependency. He continued when he got it all back under control again. The morphine makes it worse. Good lord, he hadn't told anyone except Tristanne that in his entire life. It seemed everything that he had done for or with Tristanne was happening here with or for Alex. It was all coming together piece by piece. He fell silent for a moment as he thought about that fact, there had to be something between them for him to be doing all this. You're the only living person who knows that. He added more quietly. It wasn't exactly an easy thing, to admit a weakness that could never be overcome.

When she said she wasn't going anywhere he felt the need to just wrap his arms around her, though his body would not have obeyed that command. Instead, he had to just lay there, immobile, and hold her hand in his. Cursed muscle relaxants. If only those doctors knew how much he was hating them right now for making him completely powerless, if only the knew. Now he knew what a partially sedated horse felt like. Wanting to move so badly but completely unable to do so. It about drove him mad. He was a very active person, and not being able to do anything was really getting to him.

He watched in silence as she lifted the needle back up off the floor and re-taped it to his arm without stabbing it into him. He never would have thought of that, even if he wasn't high on painkillers right now. He looked back over at her, his eyes locking with hers. He couldn't help but get lost in the beautiful crystal river blue of her eyes as they danced with life and beauty. He knew it now, there was no denying it, he had certainly fallen for her, and was completely helpless to get back up...not that he wanted to get up... Alex... He practically whispered, pausing for a moment...he didn't want to scare her away, maybe this was too abrupt, he'd only just met her, what if it was all too soon? You're all I have here anymore... Of course he had King, but by way of people he could rely on, she was all he had. His parents were dead, ODed on drugs, his brother and sister lived in Mexico, he didn't know anyone else in his family, and he didn't know anyone up here in the States except her...and the strange thing was, he was completely okay with that. and I wouldn't ask for anyone else.

[Alex Lovasz]

Alex gripped his hand tightly in hers, when he told her about his drug dependancy. She hadn't been expecing that. Really she hadn't been expecting any of this. Meeting him, The first accident, The accident at the track, Falling in love it had been such a long day. All starting around noon and now here it was 9 pm. It had all happened so fast and she was barely taking it all in when the next big wave hit her. But some how she was managing. She was going to stay right there with him until he was capable of leaving. Which knowing him the little bit that she did he would probably make that right this minute if he could. She remembered about poor Loco and how mad he must be. She promised him they'd work out that day and she up and left him. But she wasn't going to leave Anthony so he would just have to wait.

When he said she was the only living person that knew that she started to wonder if she should tell the doctors. She knew he had just trusted her, a person whom he'd only met that morning, with a huge secret of his. But this was the type of information a doctor should know. But she wasn't going to tell anyone unless it was absolutely neccisary like he was going to die or something. Which under the pain he was soon to be or already was in she probably would have. She had a pretty high tolerance for pain but not this high. Not knowing what to say or how to react she sat there completely speechless. She felt so undeserving like she wasn't worthy to know his secrets. All she could do in response was nod her head. What else could she do?

She watched him carefully. She could tell he hated being like this. And she knew admitting a weakness and now being immobile must be tearing him apart. He was an active person and to be laying in bed immobile and un able to even think clearly plus having shooting pains in you body could drive a person nuts. She could barely even imagine. She hated just being sick let alone injured and practically strapped down to a bed.

She smiled as they locked eyes. She felt so drawn to him and it was uncontrolable. She never in a million years would have predicted that she would fall for a guy in less then 10 hours. But then again Love works in mysterious ways that you can't predict. But inside she felt so right about it and looking inot his mesmorizing brown pools she felt like she was being hypnotized. He said her name and she gulped as his words came out in a whisper. Was she being to foreword? If she was she couldn't help it. It was like an involuntary act. You're all i have anymore... She let a small almost unnoticable sigh. She felt her stumach tighten this was almost more then she could bear. She didn't want to see him like this all torn up and hurting so much.

She gently lifted her other hand to sweep away the golden locks that had fallen in her face. As she did he spoke again. and i wouldn't ask for anyone else She took a deep breath and as she exhaled her breath came out slightly staggered. She tried to think fast of how to respond she hadn't said a word this whole time and she didn't want him to think she didn't feel the same way but she didn't know what to say the words just wouldn't come out of her mouth. Finally she broke throught the bearieor. "I will always be here for you, I promise. Her words were hushed but still loud enough for him to here. "You're all i need" That last part came out with out meaning and she almost flinched as it did. She didn't want to be so forward but it was true. She stood up and gently as she could wrapped her arms around him in a hug. She rest her head on his chest still trying not to put to much pressure on him or cause him pain.

[Anthony Lovasz]

If he had the strength, he would have put his own arms around her and returned the expression. However, the "sedative" drugs from the surgery had not yet worn off and he was incapable of moving that much. It had taken a great deal of strength for him to reach over and remove the morphine, and he didn't have any strength left in him. This was even more frustrating for him than not being able to ride. To be completely unable to move and express his feelings...his love...for her was killing him. Just one more reason for him to hate doctors. He knew that they had undoubtedly helped him in the healing process, but along with that they were going to forbid him from riding for who knew how long, nearly killed him and made life far more difficult for him because of the drugs, and made it impossible for him to even hug the girl who wasn't going to give up on him, who was going to stay with him to the very end, and even love him.

He drifted slowly out of the hospital, away from the never ending beeping and buzzing, the sterilized white walls, the dim yet blinding lights, it all disappeared and went dark. He didn't know if he was asleep or if unconsciousness had over taken him again, but for some reason, he didn't mind at all. In this state of mind he was back at Pinewood with Alex beside him. In her left hand she held Loco, in his right he held King, and the two of them were holding hands as they walked through the stable. Around them there was no noise except the soft breeze that whisked around them and the horses' hooves on the earth. King wasn't blind, Loco wasn't crazy. He wasn't in pain, and she wasn't worrying about him. Everything was perfect. In the arms of Alex, he had found the perfect world. Without knowing he had, three words were mumbled from him, three words that meant so much more than they expressed. I love you.

When he faded back in to the real world, it seemed that only a moment had passed since he ad closed his eyes and let the fantasy of a dream into his mind. However, as things came into focus, he could see on the clock that three hours had passed and it was now just past midnight. H turned his head slowly towards where Alex had been wondering if she had gone home. As he did so, the pain hit him. Every muscle in his body screamed in protest to the pain and grew tense, struggling against the overwhelming shock of the pain. Let the withdrawals begin. Darkness again consumed him, only this time there was no perfect world, only darkness and pain. His heart rate sky rocketed and the monitor began flashing as the numbers began to rise.

Doctors and nurses came rushing into the room, confused about what could possibly have now gone wrong. He was on the morphine, and he'd been fine up until now. One of the nurses noticed the disconnected IV line and called out her discovery to the others. They assumed something had happened, perhaps he had moved too much and the thing had been pulled out. She grabbed a new needle and syringe, and poised it above his arm to get the needle in before reconnecting the IV. She hesitated a moment before stabbing the needle into him, and waited for the doctor to instruct her to do so.

[Alex Lovasz]

Alex hugged him for a moment but then felt his body relax. He had fallen asleep. She released him and tried to sit back down and get comfortable. But it was no use there was no way she could sleep like this. Not with all this going on. She just watched him sleep peacefully. She smiled glad he found an escape from the pain. The words hit her ears like a trickling creek. I love you At first she thought it was just him talking in his sleep but she found herself responding with no control. "I love you too" Her eyes opened wide but as they did she couldn't believe she had just said that. But it was true. She did love him. More then anyone could imagine.

She smiled thinking about how things would be after he got out. She would have to keep him off King to the best of her ability. Which wouldn't be much. And when he was better they would work with both their wild animals training and preparing them for the track yet again. She smiled as she thought of them racing each other around the track herself on Loco and Him on King. But she was getting ahead of herself. He was still in the hostpital. Loco wasn't even close to being ridable. and King was still in training and now needed a few months rest. yes her dreams would have to be put on hold. But so long as everyone was alive and breathing then she was happy.

She just sat there for hours as he slept. Happy that he finally relaxed. She just watched him until she decided to get up and go to the bathroom. She was just walking back when she heard a nurse call from a room. "DOCTOR! we need you in here!" She felt bad for all the people that were going through such pain. And then thats when it hit her. That was Anthony's room. She ran for the room to see the monotor beeping loudly and numbers racing. She couldn't breathe she ran to the bed side and grabbed his hand pushing the nurse out of the way. By this time the doctor had walked into the room and the nurse was preparing to reinject him with the pain killer. Alex turned and grabbed her wrist. "Don't touch him" Her voice panicked but stern. She wasn't going to let them ruin his life even more. Her eyes glared at the nurse and then to the doctor.

The doctor looked calmly at her. "We have to the pain is to much on him, its for his own good." He spoke calmly like she was a child. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room now." Alex gripped the nurses arm tighter. "I'm not leaving him. You don't understand. He can't have morphine he has... He just can't ok" She didn't want to spill but she knew she would have to. She relaxed her body but still kept a firm grip on the nurses arm. And still held his hand. "Alex let the nurse go. Why can't he? Her eyes filled in panic she had to tell them it was for his own good. She took a deep breath. "He has a genetic drug dependancy. She felt horrible she had just told the whole staff his secret that he trusted her with. but she wasn't going to lose him not now. She released the nurse and looked at the doctor dead on. "Doctor? what do you want us to do? Alex sank into the chair still watching the doctor and holding his hand. She looked over to him. Her chest was tight and she couldn't breathe she felt herself gasping for air like everything was closing in. Her curls stood on the side over her face and her blue eyes looked him over. He was awake....He had seen and heard everything....

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony could hear the monitors screeching out their warnings through various beeps and whatnot as well as the doctors swarming about him as they tried to get the pain under control again. He knew it would only be a matter of time before they discovered the disconnected morphine drip and hooked it back up again. He wanted to say something, to stop them, but he couldn't. His mind screamed at him to do something, but his body refused to obey. It was like his brain had been severed from the rest of his body and the messages weren't getting to him. He felt the nurse's hand on his arm, and knew it was coming. They didn't know, how could they? They were only making things worse, and he couldn't tell them.

His breathing was labored and restricted, it felt like he was being held underwater and he was drowning. Every muscle in his body was contracted as if to quell the pain. He felt sick, like he couldn't take it anymore, like he should just let go and die so he wouldn't have to be in pain anymore. It would be so much easier...his heat rate plummeted, and his breathing slowed. It didn't stop at the normal rate though, it continued to fall. For a single moment the numbers were normal, but kept decreasing lower and lower, drawing ever nearer to zero and death. It seemed the only way out of this pain, he was giving up, his body had won, the drugs had won. There was no beating it.

Then, he heard Alex's voice above the other noises, he felt her hand close around his, and that was all. Slowly, the numbers rose back up to normal, and stayed there. He felt pain, but it was pain he could handle, his breathing became easier, still more difficult than normal, but a difficult similar to that which he would feel after a race. His body relaxed, leaving him feeling exhausted, but an exhausted that he would expect after trying to hold a boisterous racehorse to a canter on a light work. Everything felt normal again...everything felt right again.

He heard her say it, tell them about the drug problem, and he wasn't sure how to react. She had just saved his life. If they'd injected him with the morphine, it would have increased the pain and he would probably have died right there and nothing, not even Alex could have brought him back. His eyes opened slowly, and he looked towards her sitting in the chair, looking like she had just about passed out from worry. He held eye contact with her for a moment in silence, and mouther the words, "thank you." He would have said them, but he couldn't seem to find his voice, though he couldn't really be blamed for that, he had after all just almost died, and would have if Alex hadn't come back. How many times was she going to save his life? He was just glad she was there, he would do anything for her once he could move again, but until then, he would have to just lie there and do nothing.

[Alex Lovasz]

Heart breaking she tried to breathe but nothing came all she could do was keep eye contact with him. It was the only thing keeping her from passing out. When she heard the beeps plumate her heart stopped and she went into panic. She was sure if she hadn't told them he would have died. She tried to regroup but she couldn't move just stunned like a deer in the head lights. The doctors and nurses moved about them busily trying to think of a way to help him with out sedating him. She was frozen and they were all in fast forward. She stared into his eyes and saw as he mouthed the words thank you. She could move though her body was in shock. She tried to smile in return but she couldn't. But with his mouthed words she gasped and finally took a deep breathe. Her eyes still full of worry she whispered barely audible to anyone. "Your welcome"

It was now about 1:30 in the morning when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She head heavy bags under her now dulled blue eyes. She sat in the chair just staring down at her hands now. She was now breathing but felt really heavy and tired. She had gotten up around 4 yesterday morning and was now almost a whole day around. She had almost stayed up a full 24 hours. That was a first. She turned to see the hand that had been placed on her and saw a nurse looking down on her sympathetically. "You should go get some coffee" The nurse was smart enough to not tell her to get some sleep. Because she wouldn't not now after his previous attack no she wasn't going to miss anything.

Alex gulped trying to dampen her now completely dry mouth it didn't wrok and words couldn't seem to form. She shook her head in answer to the nurse. She wasn't going to leave him not ever again. The nurse just sighed. "Well i'll bring you a cup with the supplies and you can decide what you want in it. She patted Alex's shoulder and walked out of the room. Alex turned and looked out the window. Her mind swirled with images from the long day. She flinched in horror as they each played back in her mind. She just wanted him to be ok. She wanted to help him endure his pain but she couldn't all she could do was sit there helplessly and watch as he struggled.

Her eyes burned but they automatically held back the tears. Her body now realising she would never shead a tear ever again. It now seemed impossible to do so. She stared out the window, she didn't even know if he was awake or not. She thought he had fallen asleep but it could have been her imagination again. She turned to see and he was. She grazed her right hand through his hair and down his cheek. She turned her head away but kept her hand there. Clenching her eyes closed she felt the warm sensation of liquid moving down her face. Her hand slid down his body until it fell to the bed on top of her other hand. She rested her head on her crossed arms.

He was the only one she had here. Sure she would meet other people but none like him. None that she loved like him. He was her other half. And if anything happened to him she would never forgive herself. Sure he would be embarrassed to say she saved him several times but she would just keep saving him if that meant keeping him alive. She would stay there beside him while he fought off the addiction and she would hold his hand in the pain. Through the good and the bad she would be there for him.

[Anthony Lovasz]

Two weeks was the limit. That was as long as they could force him to stay in this reviling place. To Anthony, two weeks was two weeks too long, but as long as they didn't release him, he couldn't leave. For two weeks anyway. After that, it didn't matter if they discharged him or not, they couldn't legally make him stay anymore. Of course, knowing him, the day he hit two weeks, he was leaving the hospital, no questions asked. He didn't care if they wanted him to stay, he wasn't going to let them dope him up on drugs and keep him hooked up to all their obnoxious monitors that unceasingly beeped. His heart rate was normal, his breathing was normal, and everything else was normal too...well, except for the pain. That was going to last a while, but he wasn't going to let them attempt to do anything about that.

They had tried several times to get him to let them re-break his right arm from the accident before this one so that it would heal properly, but he refused every time. It was bad enough that he had to wear this stupid cast on his leg for three months, and keep some sort of wrap type stuff around his lower chest for two months, he wasn't going to get a cast on his arm too. It was bad enough that they'd almost killed him and gotten him on drugs, he wasn't about to let them break his arm. Wasn't he in enough pain already? Apparently not by their standards. Just one more reason why he hated doctors.

He'd also refused a wheel chair, he wasn't going to degrade himself to that level. Crutches were bad enough, but he couldn't get around without them for a while, so he was going to have to put up with that. He seemed to have the worst luck when it came to riding these days. He was always getting himself hurt. Ever since the Santa Anita he hadn't seemed to have anything go right for him. He'd been one of the greatest jockeys in the U.S before that race, but two stride after crossing the wire, his luck ran completely out. By the time he was finally able to ride competitively the entire racing world would have forgotten about him.

King had been taken back to Pinewood after a week at the vet to monitor for infection, and when none had come up, they'd taken him home where he'd be more comfortable and at ease. He still stood listlessly in his stall though, barely touching his food, completely uninterested in anyone. He needed his human back again. When he heard Anthony's voice right outside his stall though, his ears pricked forward, his head shot up, and his blind eyes widened. He started towards him, forgetting about the stall door until his chest knocked into it and he was forced to stop. He stretched his head out, searching for Anthony, unable to see him, but so badly wanting to touch him.

Anthony lifted his hand to King's muzzle, leaning the crutches against the wall as he did so. Couldn't keep me away forever. He said as he scratched the big thoroughbred's forehead. The chestnut had a wrap around his right front leg in which he had strained a tendon in the accident, making the two of them match perfectly...well, in that respect anyway. The horse was just so happy to have Anthony back that he didn't seem to notice anything or anyone else. Honestly, this was the first time Anthony had ever seen him this friendly before. It was a welcome change to the normally crazy horse that everyone at Pinewood knew him to be.

Anthony looked on down the aisle where he knew Alex's horse Loco was kept. This was where it had all begun, this was where he had first met her. He was hoping that Alex would be here somewhere, she had stayed with him almost the entire time he'd been in the hospital, and he was forever grateful for that. He'd been going through terrible withdrawals lately since he was no longer on the morphine that his body had become addicted to the moment the first drop entered his blood stream, and she was still there for him. Reminding himself of the drugs, unintentionally, his body started telling him that he needed them, and his hands began to shake. King stepped back from him, sensing something was wrong, and watched him nervously.

Anthony lowered himself down onto the tack trunk beside the thoroughbred's stall, and placed his hands on his knees to suppress the shaking. He'd gone through this so many times since he'd been admitted to the hospital, if he could resist it, he'd be fine in a few minutes, if not, he'd probably end up going into shock and would go completely unconscious barely a minute after going into the shock. That was the worst possible scenario because there was nothing any doctors could do for him, since he obviously couldn't be given any drugs to help it, and if nothing was done, he could easily die. At this point though, he was only in the beginning stage of the withdrawal, and unless it got worse, he wasn't going to worry about it.

[Alex Lovasz]

Alex had been at the barn all morning working and playing around with Loco. She was dissapointed in the monster but still loved him more then ever. She was inside his stall grooming him after a nice lunging in the round pens. He was gettting better she had to say he hardly ever got out of control anymore....Well at least when she was lunging him. Of course he still hated all males and would attack any that walked infront of his stall door. He didn't like girls all that much either but him and Alex had a special bond. So he was usually pretty tame for her. Of course that wasn't the case on the day of the accidents.

Just thinking about it made Alex's stumach tighten and made it hard to breath. She leaned on Loco's shoulder trying to erase the images that now constantly haunted her. It had been a few weeks now but it still tormented her. She had stayed with Anthony the whole time but knew she needed to come back and take care of Loco before he killed any of the staff. She practically had to start over with him but he remembered quickly. She also took care of King for Anthony so she could try and keep him off the horse for as long as possible as they both needed to heal before any major excersize would be possible.

She patted the horses neck in appreciation for being so relaxed. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and for the first time since the accident she actually picked it up. "Hello?" She spoke quietly as to not spook Loco. the other person replied frantically. Alex where have you been we were about to send a search and resue team out for you thinking that mad horse might have taken off with you! Moms they always worried. "I'm fine mom Loco didn't run off with me i've just been......Busy" There was no way she was going to tell her mother what happened that would just give her an excuse to come visit and her mother was the last thing she needed right now. Well you could have at least called back things are getting crazy around here Albino didn't win and Your dads big paying customer left. And Then Diablo got colic and the vet bill went high rocket and Chickadee didn't conceive. Her moms quickened words would have been impossible to keep up with for the untrained but Alex caught every word. She grabbed the grooming box and reached over the half door, unlatched it and slipped out. She locked it back up and set the grooming box on top of the tack box. "Mom mom slow down i have everything on my laptop back at the house i'll check it out don't wor....." Her words stopped flowing when she looked up to see Anthony struggling and sit down placing his hands on his knee's. "Mom I'll call you back" She didn't wait for her moms reply just hung up the phone.

She quickly slipped her phone into her pocket of her jeans and walked over to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder gently. "Hey hey take it easy." He had just gotten out and was here already acting like he was perfectly fine. She was worried about him though if he wasn't careful he would screw up his body more then it already was. She knew what he was going through. The addiction to the morphine started as soon as they had injected it and he had been going through withdrawls. She wasn't exactly sure what that was like the only thing she had ever been addicted to was horse racing but she knew it wasn't even close to being the same. She sat down on the box next to him looking at him with her blue eyes full of concern.

She was going to try and ride Loco today for the second time. Lets just say the first time didn't end so well but she had gotten away without any severe injuries. She hadn't planned on telling Anthony figuring he would insist on watching and she didn't think that would be a good idea. Her Blonde curly hair hung down on her shoulders not tied back. She wore tight blue jeans with her knee high boots and a Black tank top. She placed her hand on top of his over his knee. She He bangs drooped across her forehead to the right but didn't hide either of her eyes. She smiled at him and shook her head slightly. "Didn't figure we could keep you away from the barn." We meaning her and the doctors. Anthony loved King and she knew that chances were he would be here even with the cast on his leg and the wrap around his stomach. He was just that way. But she loved that about him.

She still wasn't going to tell him about riding Loco but he would eventually find out if he stuck around. Because she had to pass Kings stall to get Loco out with a saddle and blanket and bridle all on while she lead him with a helmet in her hands. So one way or another he would find out but she would just leave it be for now. He was having withdrawls and she needed to be there for him so Loco would just have to wait. Of course Loco wasn't a very aptient horse and had already began to stamp his forelegs against the half door demanding that he be taken out. But she ignored him. She placed her arm around Anthony's back in a half hug half support type way. She was going to stay there with him and help him get past this one and all the rest too.

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony looked up at Alex as she placed her hand on his shoulder and told him to take it easy. A smile easily crossed his face, a good sign, as the reply came into his mind. If I wasn't taking it easy I'd be on the track by now. Of course, he said this in a joking way...though it was true...somewhat. If he didn't have the cast on his leg he would be out there riding now, but there was no way he could ride a horse with that blasted plaster thing around his leg. He'd fall off faster than anyone could blink an eye. It took a lot of strength to stay up on a racehorse, with the stirrups shortened like they were, and the cast severely hindered him from using his strength fully.

Anthony's hands still shook a little, and his heart rate was still slightly elevated, but it was subsiding. Most of the time, the withdrawals weren't too extreme, though he'd had one or two while still in the hospital that he'd thought were going to kill him, and set the doctors in a tizzy. They about panicked when there was nothing they could do about these very nearly seizures that he was having. Each time though, it had been Alex that had really pulled him through it. If she hadn't been there for him, he probably would have just given in to the pain and let himself die. He didn't really have anything to live for except her. There was King, and no doubt he did love the horse, but aside from the thoroughbred, Alex was all he had.

The urge for drugs passed, mostly, there was always that lingering in the back of his mind, but the shaking subsided and his heart stopped pounding in his chest quite so hard. How many times are you going to save my life? He asked her. Okay, so maybe it seemed random to someone who didn't know what had happened and that he'd just been having drug withdrawals, but he knew what he was talking about, and Alex did too. Already she'd saved him at least...five, probably more times, and he had a feeling that she was going to save him a lot more in the coming weeks. Since he had no idea how much of the morphine had gotten into his body he didn't know how long these withdrawals would continue happening. Anywhere from a few days to a year, maybe even longer. He took consolation, though, in knowing that this time, he had someone he could rely on to be there for him when things got really bad.

King had been getting quite used to Alex in the past two weeks, and actually trusted her quite a bit. Of course, not nearly as much as he trusted Anthony, but she was the only person in the world who could actually approach him besides Anthony and not get their head kicked off. He wasn't a mean horse, he just couldn't see, and since he couldn't see, he panicked easily. If he didn't know your voice he was prone to attacking...the vets had been given a good dosage of that when they were trying to care for him after the accident. Alex and Anthony though, they could approach him without the fear of being deliberately kicked or bitten.

[mahad]

She laughed a little when he joked. Even though she knew it was true. She loved his sense of humor. She smiled shook her head slightly he was just as crazy as she was. Them and their nut horses. Chances were when they died it would because they were racing horse at the age of 70. She looked down at his hands and saw that they were still shaking. She rested her head on his shoulder. She needed to learn not to worry so much but she couldn't help it. She didn't like to see him in pain. It broke her heart.

To her all she needed was him. Of course she would always need horses but he was the most important thing in her life right now. The Loco and King. She had actually felt rather close to King since she had been taking care of him while Anthony took a break. More like was forced to take a break. She swore if he didn't have that cast on his leg he would be back on top of the blind thoroughbred before anyone could even notice what was going on. And as soon as he got it off he was going to be right back out there. That was another thing they had incommen. There really wasn't anything they could do to keep her from riding. Or racing. She loved the track. What could she say she was a track rat. If she wasn't the one racing she was on the rail cheering her horse on. Or she was training them.

She looked into his eyes as he asked her how many times she was going to have to save him. "As many times as it takes" She would keep saving him if kept him alive. She wouldn't give up on him. Ever. She would stay with him forever and keep saving him as many times as needed. She would always be there for him no matter what. All they had was each other. Sure she had her parents back home but she couldn't count on them for diddly squat. They had always relied on her. She continued to look into his eyes with her own crystal ones. A slight smiled stood on her face. "I'm not going anywhere" She repeated what she had told him in the hospital.