[Vivian] That's What I'm Doing These Days

[Dustin Kurucz]

Ah Dustin... his history was more of a tragedy than Hamlet, his story was more of a tear jerker than Romeo and Juliette, and his life was more miserable than the Beast's before he found Belle. Everywhere he turned there was mishap and pain, everywhere he looked he saw nothing but a dismal downpour of hell, not even so much as a ray of hope, and God forbid that there ever be a rainbow promising a let up in the rain. Like just about everyone else in this town, Dustin was pretty screwed up... only thing was... he was way more screwed up than any of them. Oh sure, some people here had probably killed people before... whether in wars or as police... but none of them had shot and killed an unarmed man out of anger and disgust... none of them except for Dustin, that is... and even if any of them had, they probably felt some guilt about it... but not Dustin... oh hell no, he never once regretted doing what he did. That man had deserved it. If given the chance to take it back, Dustin would do it the exact same way he did before.

Not regretting it didn't make it hurt any less though. He hated knowing that in order to serve that man justice for what he'd done to Dustin's little sister that he had to give up any and all chances he had at a future. No one would hire a murderer. He knew that no one knew that he had been the one to kill the man... but even so, the way his karma worked, as soon as he tried to get a job someone would somehow find out he did it, and he'd end up in prison and he'd die there where everyone could see, where the "death of a murder" would make the news and everyone would know. That wasn't what he wanted. When he died he wanted it to be in the dark shadows where no one would see him... no one could record his dying breath. Of course, he really would like for Riley to be the one whose hand he held as he died, but right now, he was sure he couldn't face her.

Riley had been pregnant with Dustin's baby...had being the key word there. All of his life he had only been battered by the world from every angle. Abusive parents, prison at 15, essentially becoming a sort of father figure at 17, having Shayla taken from him, Shayla being killed, the judgmental stares at the funeral, killing the man who killed her, and now finally being the cause of his own child's death. He had trusted her... he had believed that with her everything was safe and he could believe in her... but boy was he ever wrong. He had told her everything about himself. From the abusive parents to all his current drug addictions, he left no details out... then it all went downhill from there. She had initially lied about being pregnant just to get him back... but later turned out that she really was. Dustin was terrified, completely terrified, of being a father... but at the same time, he wanted to have that baby and prove to himself that he was better than his past.

Riley really had no idea what the death of the baby did to him. If there was one thing in this life that Dustin had believed would never be any part of betrayal of him, it was children. He loved them, he loved their innocence, their lack of understanding the horrors of the world... but now here that had been ruined. Fate had used that adoration of kids against him, making him believe that he was going to be a father only to have that snatched away from him as quickly as it had been given to him. Even though he had been terrified of not being a good enough dad for their child, he had been excited too. This was his second chance... a chance to do better with this child than he had with Shayla. Turns out that chance had all been an illusion. Fate had once again deceived him, and he was more than just hurt by it. He couldn't go without the drugs anymore, and his relapse was far worse than his previous addictions had been.

He had been trying to get over his addictions when he thought he was going to be a dad, but now that he knew it had all been taken away he had gone right back to it. Problem was, he didn't really know what he was addicted to. He would just take whatever he could get to try to numb the pain. It was nothing short of a miracle that he hadn't overdosed yet. Another problem was... it wasn't working. He was already so addicted that he would have to take ridiculous amounts of the drugs in order for the pain to be numbed the way it used to work... and he didn't really want to overdoes and die that way... so he couldn't take as much as he would really have liked to just for the sake of making the pain stop. On top of that, those two little voices in his head had returned, only this time louder. His heart screaming for him to go back to Riley, to not let this get between them, and his head bellowing that everyone was just going to end up getting hurt by him just like they always had and that he would be foolish to go back to her. It was a never ending battle and it was driving him insane.

Now I'm sure you don't think it could get worse... but it does. Because of a photographic memory, Dustin was regularly plagued by flashbacks of the things that had hurt him, and they were almost crippling. When he would have a flashback he would be pulled back into it so much that for the length of the flashback he would be frozen and unable to move. When he would come out of the flashback, he would jump almost violently as if someone had fired a gun right behind him when he hadn't expected it. Unfortunately it was never the good memories, of which he had few, and they always ended up exposing unhealed wounds. He had a hell of a life, that was for sure.

Currently, he was in the middle of one of those moments. He was, as usual, very likely slightly high on something from this morning, and as its affects began to wear off, he turned to the ever faithful pot. Dustin was bound to die from liver failure, lung cancer, and god knows what else with all the other drugs he was taking. He was in a rough spot in his life right now... and unfortunately that rough spot comprised almost the entirety of his life.

It was her, he knew it was. He would recognize that step anywhere, he pretended, though, that he didn't hear it. He smiled gently, knowing exactly what was going to happen next. Her arms were thrown around his neck from behind as the little girl hopped up on his back. He, of course, pretended to be surprised for her enjoyment, then put his arms behind him and around her. He flipped the girl over his shoulder and into his lap, wrapping his strong arms around her body as that beautiful little face turned up at him and smiled, her melodic laugh filling the air as she closed one of his arms in her grasp.

Dustin brushed her bangs out of her face, and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Lookit what I made in Sunday school! She said proudly, displaying a small and smooth rock to him, with words "pray" written across it. Dustin hadn't ever believed in any of that religion stuff, considering what his dad had done to him, but Shayla's foster family was big into it, and had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday, and she seemed to enjoy it, so he wasn't going to stop them from taking her. Did you make that all by yourself? He asked with a smile as he looked at her newest prized possession. Well...Mrs. McLaury helped a little... He had known that would be her answer, but it made no difference to him. She was happy, and he was happy...that was all that mattered.

Although it may seem like a happy memory... it was indeed a painful one. She had been so perfect, she didn't deserve to die, and it killed Dustin every day to know that if he had just waited one more year to come to the United States she would still be alive and in his custody. He hated himself for that... and yes, he did partially blame himself for her death. He took a long drag on the joint in his hand, trying to drown the migraine that was building in the back of his head as well as the memory that had haunted him for so long. He wanted to move on. As he exhaled the smoke from his lungs, he sighed and put his head down in his hands, looking every bit as miserable as he felt. Today was not his day... in fact, this whole life was not his life. He had very few times that he could look on as being happy, and those times had been short lived and always ended in pain for him. He needed a reset button... and unfortunately that was impossible, so he was just going to have to suffer the same way he had been since as long as he could remember.

Tagged: Vivian
Words: 1652
Notes: Just to clarify he's on a bench in the park
Outfit: Here

[Vivian Kings]

Sunday, October 25, 1:06am 2009 I saw a shooting star….I wished that my heart would stop breaking…….It didn’t come true….

It had been days… weeks… maybe months, she wasn’t sure, since everything with Tyler had happened. All she knew was that she was miserable… she felt like someone had stolen her heart, her reason to live, and hadn’t given it back. If someone had punched her in the gut as hard as they could she probably wouldn’t have noticed… she was already in so much pain. She had felt heartbreak, disappointment and hurt before but this was a whole different level of pain… a whole different category of hurt. She had those moments when it wasn’t so bad… and that was usually when she was riding… but other than that she felt like she was slowly but surely dying inside. She couldn’t sleep… there was no way she could eat…nothing numbed the pain… and that’s all she wanted now… she tried to fill the void with Nate… and that worked for a while… but eventually that too stopped working… She’d do anything now to rid herself of the black hole that took the place of her heart. That’s exactly why she was here today.

Vivian Kings was no weak person…and even now when her insides were caving in she never let the world see her down. She held her head high. She flaunted around with Nate… went out to parties… basically turned completely back around to the old person she used to be. She was done being miserable all the time and the last thing she wanted was for the world to see her in this vulnerable state. She had everyone fooled. It didn’t take long before the act that she put on in front of everyone came oh so naturally. Short skirts skimpy tops walking around the house in her underwear. She didn’t care who saw her besides every man in town knew way better than to come to her house unless invited. She was back to being the tiger lady. She knew what she wanted and if she made it clear that you weren’t it then you had no chance of ever getting with her… even if she was intoxicated. But now days so long as her boyfriend didn’t find out and you had a clean bill of health she’d let you in…. she just wanted them all to erase the memory of Tyler… it wasn’t working…. And that was driving her insane.

Nate was the perfect boyfriend he pampered her, he put up with her shit, he bought her pretty things, took her nice places, he treated her like the princess she was so far from being. And if she wasn’t in writhing pain from the break up with Tyler she probably could have fallen in love with him. But like so many other girls she was more attracted to the troubled bad boys… she had an act for finding their good side, for finding the soft side. Or so she thought. See, Vivian only knew one side of the story and that was her own and as far as she was concerned Ty had been lying to her this whole time… he didn’t really love her and she knew that she gave him her heart and that she was never getting it back. So with that she secluded herself from everything that reminded her of him. And that meant she didn’t talk to or visit with Anthony or Alex. They had Tyler’s baby and she didn’t think she could handle seeing that little girl without remembering everything she had gone through.

Other than blocking them out she avoided Charlie and the kids… despite how much she loved them she didn’t admit to loving anything anymore. The words meant nothing to her. And the number one person she avoided was Sebastian. She managed to get up before him and out the door to “school” she rarely actually made it there… either that or she’d sleep in till after he left for work. Whenever she did bump into him she always managed to just roll her eyes and shrug past him out the door. Other than that she managed to stay out of the house, whether with Nate, or out clubbing and sneaking around with whomever… she made sure to keep Nate top priority. Even though she was well aware that she was just using him she tried not to hurt him… he was so sweet and she really did appreciate the fact that he was trying to help. But in her mind she was already a lost cause. Partying was her best friend she had even mastered riding while extremely intoxicated she was a natural at acting completely sober when drunk…. Minus the fact that she could get extremely bitchy or obnoxious, But then again when was Vivian not bitchy now days.

The regular activities of Vivian King included lots and lots of alcohol and sex. Anything she could do to forget her past to forget all the feelings… but its effects were starting not to work so well. The alcohol wasn’t doing the job anymore the sex was getting boring. She was missing that piece of thrill to it. She was getting bored… and everyone who was anyone knew that her being bored was never a good thing. She took advantage of Chuck Bass being her stepbrother to get her into clubs. Not that she couldn’t get whatever she wanted without that influence. Vivian was a very…. Powerful force of nature… she had a way of being able to persuade people… especially men and like it wasn’t obvious she was very attractive she had one of those model like bodies and she knew how to show it off. Flaunting was something she was talented in… even when sweating due to riding all day she could turn heads like no other. There was no doubt in her mind or anyone else’s that she could get any man she wanted… even if they were happily married or very committed to their relationship.

Despite her constant drunken or hung over state she was still one of the best riders, she knew how to handle a horse, especially hers, and she was naturally gifted in that area. No one ever told her how to do anything that involved horses. She was confident and if something was wrong she always had a list of people that she blamed. But her time at the barn was very strategic she was never there when Alex or Anthony were... and if they were there she made sure she was already riding or they were, to avoid that critical “how are you” conversation that annoyed her to no end. She just wanted everyone to treat her like nothing happened… she didn’t want their pity. She was strong and she wanted them to see that. Other than them she made sure to avoid seeing Tyler, which they were getting very good at by the way. Then there was making sure she could avoid Sebastian… or at least be able so blow him off. But Vivian had a talent for blowing anyone and everyone off. She was good at acting like she was better than anyone and everyone. Well she actually believed that she was better than everyone.

It was a sad matter though; anyone who knew Vivian before she dated Tyler knew the huge strides she had taken when she was dating him. They were both working on getting sober for each other, by practicing not going to the club and not drinking or any of their bad habits that they used to before they started dating. They were both doing so well until this unfortunate event occurred. Now, though, she had fallen into what could be the worst state she had ever been in her entire life. All sure ever felt on a constant basis was pain and it made her miserable. Every day it was becoming harder and harder try. She could feel her body slowly giving up, giving into the pain that encompassed her. The only thing she wanted now was to lose all her feelings. She’d rather be numb than have to suffer this pain anymore. But for some reason anything she did or tried didn’t work, nothing numbed the pain.

There was one thing she hadn’t tried yet… ever in her entire life. Only problem is the one person she though of when it came to drugs was Hayley and she wasn’t around anymore. Which meant she needed to find a new source. That wasn’t that hard though, I mean almost all of her friends at school did drugs and they all had their “connections” I guess you could say so all she had to do was make sure she talked to the right people. One name in particular came up a few times and for some reason it sounded familiar to her. But she wasn’t sure why… anyways she heard that he usually could be found at the park. So she figured why not give it a try… it couldn’t hurt… and she was willing to try anything to numb the pain. She waited till the coast was clear, or rather the house was clear from Sebastian and Cheyenne before she made her escape out the front door. Her cover was running, she was dressed in shorts, a tank top with a light sweater just incase, and running shoes. Her hair was back in a short ponytail considering she chopped all her hair off.

Considering her long athletic legs and love for sprinting it didn’t take long for her to get to the park. She kept going though, keeping a weather eye looking for her new best friend. After what seemed like forever to her in her desperate state, which was in reality just a few seconds, she finally spotted him sitting on a bench. The only reason she knew it was him was because… well the familiar name lead to a familiar face. He seemed distant… his eyes removed almost like he wasn’t here… at the park in his mind he was somewhere else. She scanned over him just briefly before slowing her speed to a stop gradually. Hunching over she placed her hands on her knees to catch her breath. She was standing sort of in front of the bench but to the side so she wasn’t directly in front of him… she was new at this… and it was obvious.

“Dustin Kurucz?” She knew it was him… she could never forget the face… but she asked anyways because… well she was afraid that if she addressed him abruptly that he would freak out. He seemed so removed it almost scared her… but she wasn’t. Standing up straighter she looked at him with her head slightly tilted to the side in curiosity. Vivian had gotten good at acting and pretending the pain didn’t exist she didn’t want anyone to know the pain that she felt… the raw throbbing that attacked her constantly. So concentrating on his odd physical state wasn’t hard to fake… and at this point she wasn’t really faking. She wanted to know if he knew the kind of pain she was feeling and if that was why he had been taking whatever it was that he was obviously taking. It gave her hope though… he seemed removed… numb… so that meant there was something she could do to rid herself of it. There was now a small glimmer of hope in her eye…

OOC; well it sucks beyond no reason... but its a start i suppose.

[Dustin Kurucz]

Did Dustin know pain? Of course he knew it... his whole life was made from pain. If you took away all the pain in his life, his story wouldn't exist. There would be no Dustin Kurucz if there was no pain. He didn't really know the pain of betrayal from another person like Vivian did... aside from his parents betrayal... but the pain he knew was more just from everything... from loss. Dustin was essentially to the point in his life where he didn't want anything because he knew once he got it, it was only going to be taken away again, and he knew he couldn't handle losing anything else that was important to him. He had screwed up a lot, and right now he was starting to think that he should just kill himself before the next wave of disaster hit him. He was a mess... and he was certain that there was nothing he could do now to fix any of this problem on his own. He needed Riley... but he couldn't bring himself to face her. It would remind him too much of the baby... and after he left and relapsed, he was sure that she wouldn't want him to come crawling back to her in this half dead state of mind that he was in.

To be perfectly honest, most people had no idea who Dustin was. He tended to deliberately avoid people and society in general most days. He would only go to the stable when he knew people wouldn't be around, if he was in the park... which he was most often... he secluded himself to the area in the park that was less popular and further away from where most people hung out, he generally only made the rounds in town at night when he could disappear into the shadows at the first glimpse of any other people. He was extremely anti-social, and anyone who would get to know his story would find it not hard to figure out why. Dustin didn't really like people... people could hurt him... most people he'd known had hurt him... and even though he didn't really realize it, he didn't want to be around them because he was afraid of pain, afraid of hurting more than he already did.

He hadn't been out of the flashback long when he heard someone saying his name in question form, as if they were either unsure if it was him or they were hesitant to approach him and start a conversation with him. He knew though, that since it was someone who knew him, then it had to be someone that was somehow associated with Riley. Only the people who he knew because of Riley would know him well enough to call him by his first and last name. Most people he knew just by his own association only knew him as Dustin, and he wanted to keep it that way. He had no interest in letting the whole world know him for his full name, just in case somehow they found out that it had been him who killed that man. If no one around her knew that he was Dustin Kurucz, when it made the news, no one would be apt to think that it was him they were talking about.

He looked up at her, his expression unchanged, and took another drag off the joint, reveling in the high it sent through him. Unfortunately. He said, not really liking the situation he was in. He didn't really have anything against Vivian... well aside from the fact that when he had first met her she had quite suddenly practically thrown herself at him and kissed him. Random, yes... but she'd had a good reason for doing so... to avoid someone she knew coming up and talking to her... but even so... Dustin was the least touchy feely kind of guy there was, and he especially didn't like being kissed by strangers, no matter how attractive they were. The reason he didn't like the situation was because he was the cause of the grief he knew Vivian was in... despite how hard she was trying to hide it. He knew her situation... and he knew he was the cause... he was always the cause. If he wasn't being hurt then he was hurting someone else.

Wondering where he came to this conclusion? Well... it started sometime ago. He was one of many regulars at the club... not for the dancing or anything of that sort... but for the alcohol they served, and all the drug dealers he could rip off while he was there. Anyway, on one certain night he'd been there for a while when he noticed the illustrious Tyler Haze at the bar. He seemed completely out of sorts and quite different than he had been lately. He'd been slowly converted over to a more respectable person than he used to be since he'd been with Vivian... but tonight he seemed depressed and borderline suicidal. Knowing the feeling all too well, Dustin gave up on his current plan of making off with some drug dealer's earnings, and went over to join Tyler. At that point, Tyler had had only one drink, and nothing too strong either... but Dustin, being Dustin, figured he could use something more to get his mind off of whatever it was that was bothering him, and got him... more than a few. It took some convincing, which was strange... normally Tyler was a heavy drinker, but that night he seemed reluctant.

By the time Dustin left, Tyler was quite drunk. What happened after that, Dustin didn't know until later... but when he found out, he knew it was his fault. Tyler had ended up sleeping with some girl from the club, and Vivian found out... of course, you already know what happened after that. She broke up with him, Sebastian ended up nearly killing him again, and... well, Dustin might have been slightly high and drunk that night and might have sort of used Tyler's knife to stab Sebastian, then disappeared, leaving Tyler to take the blame for that too. So yes, Dustin had really screwed things up with Tyler and Vivian, and that was why he was uncomfortable with her being there. It didn't show though. He had far too many drugs running through his system for anything except his current state of misery to show through. He was slightly tempted to just leave and disappear like he normally would have done... but he had a feeling, from Vivian's failed attempts at being casual, that she wanted something from him... and he was curious as to what that was.

He wasn't concerned at all about her reporting him for the pot he was so obviously smoking... even if she did he could just disappear like he always did and never get into trouble for it. What... he started, but paused. He was going to say "what do you want?" in a less than amiable manner, but since he had ruined things with her and Tyler, he decided that he at least owed it to her to be more sociable than that. ...can I do for you? He finished, as always, not doing much good at correcting himself mid-sentence. When he wasn't high on anything he was always well spoken... surprisingly so considering his Mexican origins... but when he was high or drunk he usually had a bit more trouble with thinking things through before he said them. It was a curse... but one that he could avoid if he wanted to... but right now, the numbness was much more enticing than being able to speak correctly. He would rather be high and not feel anything at all than to be sober and say exactly what he wanted to say without sounding like a fool.

[Vivian Kings]

The curiosity…. The glimmer of hope… the thought that there maybe some way to get rid of the overwhelming shadow of pain that seemed to loom over her at all times… it all was showing in her eyes. Though it could be misread as the girlish glitter that used to be possessed by her eyes before the fateful day that tore her world apart. His first response practically diminished her hope… “Unfortunately”… that obviously meant he still felt the pain… despite his numb appearance he was still enduring the pain that he was feeling. She was beginning to feel like this pain would never go away, that she would have to live and suffer with it until she died and was finally pain-free. Maybe, she thought, this was just a waste of time. If the drugs weren’t helping him she highly doubted there was any chance that they would help her.

It was obvious to Vivian that he recognized her from the way he looked at her. She spent a lot of time watching people in silence now days so understanding body language and being able to read people came naturally now… not that she got it right every time. In fact she normally got it wrong, mostly because she didn’t care all that much if she was right. She didn’t care what other people were hiding or trying to say through their body… just so long as they couldn’t read her she was just fine. Last thing she wanted was to be thought of as weak or have anyone’s sympathy. When he first met her she was her normal self, but he didn’t really know her for all he knew she was just the chick that kissed him to get out of talking to some annoying people. Unless he like the rest of the world had heard about what happened… either way she really didn’t care what he thought. Or anyone else for that matter.

She mentally shook her head to get her focused back on the point of her being her, in front of him. Though, she didn’t even know if there was a point now, as the glimmer of hope that she had before slowly faded from her eyes. “What…. Can I do for you?” She nearly flinched as he started the sentence abruptly and paused but she resisted the urge and blinked pulling herself away from the thoughts that were running ramped in her mind. He changed his tone as he continued and she prevented herself from furrowing her brow in… confusion I suppose. Why the sudden change in heart? Then she once again realized that she didn’t really care… at all. Ditching the whole “trying” to be subtle routine she let the she-devil in her come out. “I want the strongest stuff you’ve got” The words came out softly, to keep others out of their conversation, but not at all timidly. Even if it didn’t appear to be working for him she was willing to try anything at this point.

Her stance relaxed as she crossed her arms, her eyes not straying from him for one second, her weight shifting to the other leg. Her eyes were glazed over compared to the life they used to possess now they were just dull and shallow. Life didn’t hold much meaning for her anymore… not to say she was suicidal no not Vivian she would never take her own life. She didn’t really know why she wouldn’t but I guess it seemed like a stupid way to go in her mind. Now she just made a habit of deceiving everyone that saw her. Happiness wasn’t easily achieved… but it was easily faked. She knew how to pretend, how to fool everyone. Although it caused her pain just to open her eyes… she wasn’t really sure why she woke up in the morning or why she tried to do anything… it all hurt so much. But I suppose it had become instinct by now… despite her best efforts it was impossible not to smirk when she was around people. But it was obvious she would never be the person she was before.

How could she be? She had her heart torn from her chest just leaving a raw empty space that burned on a constant basis. But did she let the world see her broken? I think not. At home, on the nights she actually made it there alone, she curled up on the window seat, floor, or bed and cried till she fell asleep… or didn’t. Sleep didn’t come easily… she had constant nightmares… even when she was awake she swore she was having them… though I’m pretty sure that was just how she saw her life… a nightmare. She stopped eating well she stopped digesting food. She drank more than any alcoholic would. She avoided any emotions as much as possible… anything to feel numb. She was convinced not feeling anything was better than feeling the wrenching pain that possessed her now. Seeing how none of that was working now she might as well try this… it was her last ditch effort after that she was pretty sure she was just going to suffer.

Most everyone in the world had felt heart break but this was something completely different. Tyler was everything to Vivian; he brought something to her life that she couldn’t find anywhere else. She needed him as much as he needed her. He saved her… taught her something new about life... but now that he was gone she was sure that all of it was a lie… How would you feel if someone you loved and thought loved you had betrayed you and lied to you about everything… Even if it wasn’t a lie she didn’t think so. She had felt abandon before and sure that was different because it was her brother… but being abandon twice was something no one should ever have to experience. Did that mean she was worthless? She wondered every night if she was ever going to be good enough for someone.

“Vivian Kings… I know I’ve screwed up, and I know I’ve hurt you. I know I’ve been a disappointment, I know I’ve let you down. I know I was wrong… But from this day on Vivian, I promised to be your soft place to land if you should fall I promise to be the first one to say I am sorry. I promise to love you without change. I promise to make you laugh. I promise to try not to make you cry. I promise to give you strength when you are weak. I promise to love you forever I promise to cherish you and your love. I promise to never give you a reason to distrust me. I promise to find new ways everyday to keep the fires of passion burning. I promise you a love everlasting.” Those words haunted her nearly every hour of every day… and all night long. “I promise to never give you a reason to distrust me” She wondered in hatred what happened to those words? Did they mean nothing? Those words were the precise reason she shoved the ring back in his hand that day in the barn, hoping, praying to God that it would somehow take the aching pain away. But it didn’t… like everything else she tried it didn’t work. In fact it only made everything else worse.

Betrayal was something that dug at her more than anything else. To the whole world Vivian Kings was unbreakable… but betrayal/abandonment was her kryptonite. It tore her apart… and because she knew it tore her apart it only made her angrier. She couldn’t be mad though, she was in too much pain… she could pretend to be mad but it only drained her of the tiny amount of energy that was barely keeping her going every day. She tried desperately not to drift into the pain that was slowly taking over from remembering everything… she forced herself to focus on Dustin waiting for his response… if he only knew how much she needed this.

[Dustin Kurucz]

Dustin's eyes danced with the challenge that he was. He wasn't that easy, usually it was the girl that played hard to get, but not this time. Oh no, Dustin Kurucz didn't come free. You had to work to get him, you had to prove, in a way, that you were worthy of him. He didn't care if you were the richest person on the planet, nor did he care if you didn't have a penny to your name. If you wanted him, you had to work for it. He wouldn't go with just anyone. He wanted a girl who knew what she wanted and exactly how to get it. You had to be worth his time, and you had to prove that to him before he would even consider you.

Sure, it sounds hot headed and arrogant, and it basically is. He had this air of immortality about him, invincibility...he was a dangerous person, and if you didn't meet his standards, tough. As far as he was concerned, there was only one person out there who was better than he was, and that person just happened to be Tyler Haze, who was standing in front of him. Tyler was the one person who didn't have to do anything except exist to have Dustin's respect. Why? Well that's simple enough...because Tyler had been in and out of jail four times, he'd been shot three times in the chest by the police and survived, he'd been stabbed more times than he cared to count, and everyone knew that he couldn't be beat. Tyler, had reached immortality, infamy, and invincibility...that was Dustin's goal, and because Tyler had already achieved that, Dustin knew Tyler was better than him.

He looked down at Riley's hand, still not having uttered a single word. He was debating in his mind whether or not he should amuse her and actually take her hand. She looked at him like she was challenging him to touch her, to contaminate her perfection with his imperfection. The only relationships he'd ever had were one night stands, and a few friends with benefits...and that was all he planned on ever having. Finally, he made up his mind, and started to extend his hand towards hers, his eyes locked on hers, that dangerous look dancing in them, as if daring her to hold out and be contaminated.

Suddenly though, just before his hand would have slid into hers, he recoiled back into the shadows and disappeared into the darkness without a sound, leaving no trace that he had ever been there, except the memory of him in the minds of the two he left standing in silence. His vanishing was not without reason though, in fact, it was very much reasonable for him, though Tyler and Riley might not realize it at first as he disappeared.
He was quick and sly, always evading the law, disappearing at the last moment, barely avoiding getting caught. This was what he called living. Some would say he lived on the edge, but to him, it was simply living. He did what he had to do to survive, and occasionally, he did a bit more than that. Breaking the law was a favorite past time of his, and yes, it certainly was dangerous, possibly foolish, and beyond all reason stupid. But he didn't care. This gave him more than just an adrenaline rush, there was something about the chase, about the danger, about the risk that thrilled him. He was addicted to the crime life, and for this, there was no anti drug.

Dustin honestly hated the daytime. Normally he slept during the day and was awake by night. Nocturnal yes, and for a very good reason. His survival depended on being able to disappear at a moment's notice, and he couldn't do that in broad daylight. So what the hell was he doing up and about today? Simple...he'd run into some trouble, namably he ripped off one of the street gangs and they weren't too happy about it. They happened to figure out where Dustin usually stayed, and were staking it out...meaning he had to stay away from there, and stay up on his guard, which meant no sleeping.

He walked silently through the park, his pit bull ambling along at his side. People seemed to keep their distance from the pair, and he knew why. He was a rather frightening person, and the dog at his side, and the cigarette between his lips didn't help that image any, but that was what he was going for. He wanted people to be afraid of him, if they stayed away from him, then there was less of a chance he'd end up getting hurt. As he walked he spotted a familiar figure ahead of him going the same direction as he was so that her back was to him. The lovely Miss Riley Hartmann...the object of every single man's desire...and he knew he was the object of her desire.

Toying with the minds and emotions of those around him was another thing he enjoyed, and was precisely what he was going to do. He followed her discreetly for a while, always just out of her sight, watching her smugly. He knew from the way she kept glancing over her shoulder that she was looking for him. There was something about the way she had looked at him that night that told him she had a thing for him. He could tell that she was enthralled by him, borderline obsessed with him. He haunted her memory day and night, she always thought she could see him in the corner of her eye, but when she looked, he was gone.

Of course, he didn't know this for certain, but it was an educated guess. He tended to have that effect on people these days. He dropped the smoke on the ground and crushed it with his heel, then sidled up behind Riley silently so that he couldn't be heard approaching, and placed his hands on her shoulders at the base of her neck ever so gently, and leaned forward. Miss me? He whispered huskily and dangerously in her ear. He couldn't be resisted, and he knew it. He enjoyed torturing her, playing with her, screwing with her mind. That was just the way he was, and she would have to accept it eventually.

Now here he was... his game had backfired on him multiple times. He had fallen for Riley, breaking the only rule he'd put in place for himself. then he'd panicked and left, just to find out he had gotten her pregnant, and went back to her. Then, just when it seemed like things would be alright, one of Dustin's many enemies broke into the house when he was gone, ended up hurting Riley, and causing her to have a miscarriage. Dustin hadn't ever felt to heart-broken when the doctor told them that the baby had died and there was nothing more they could do. He'd never felt anything like that before, and it destroyed him. He relapsed... worse than what he'd been before, and couldn't stand to let Riley see him like that. He was in a worse state than he ever had been, and he knew being like that would do more harm than good for Riley... so he left... again. It killed him to be away from her, but he was so afraid of what he might do while under the influence of the drugs that he had to go.

When Vivian said she wanted the strongest stuff he had, he looked at her rather skeptically. The last thing he wanted was to submit anyone else to the hell he called life... but because of what he'd done to ruin Vivian's life, he felt like he owed her whatever she wanted. I'm no dealer. he muttered, his words indicating that he wasn't going to give her any drugs, but his action suggesting otherwise. He reached into his pocket as he said this, and extracted what was left of his stash, which wasn't much, considering he'd been using most of what he stole. There was so little left now that there was only one joint of the same sort that he himself was currently using... but it was better than nothing. It really wasn't that strong, but he knew to a first time user it would feel like the strongest thing out there.

It's all I've got on me,e but it's better than nothing. He said, handing it to her, and taking another drag off his own. It was helping the migraine a bit, but since he was such an addict, they no longer made the pain go away unless he took dangerous amounts of it all at once. He really wasn't being discreet about it at all... mostly because he just didn't care anymore. Besides, there weren't many people out there right now, so the odds of someone paying close enough attention to see what they were doing, and being a "good" enough person to report them were very slim... any he'd probably be better off in jail anyway... at least there the withdrawals might kill him since he wouldn't be able to just go and get more drugs when his body demanded them. Dustin really didn't have much of a will power anymore now that he had lost everything that meant anything to him, and he couldn't resist the cravings at all. He lived a horrible life. He needed Riley, but he was certain she hated him for leaving again... so he was on his own now. It was time to sink or swim, and Dustin hadn't ever learned to swim on his own... allegorically speaking of course.

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[Vivian Kings]

The sweet smell of wild flowers danced around the petite little girl as she danced through the fields slowly. Sure there were things that were going around her but all in all she was a pretty stable child she had the rich family, the over protective brother who set the worst example, the dream horse, she was popular; all in all things were going her way. Or at least it appeared that way on the outside. Followed by the innocent scene of a girl walk through the fields came a couple of other girls… followed by some guys… followed by some more people… followed by loud music being pumped out of a large truck with screaming boys hanging out of it and 2 kegs in the bed of the truck. It was supposed to be the party to kick off the summer. End of school kind of bash. They all laughed and screamed and had the time of their lives not one parent showed up… that was one of the plus’ of having parties in the middle of nowhere… there was no who could hear you and call the cops. This meant only one thing… a never ending party, until they ran out of alcohol that is. But just like all their other parties for that first girl… they all ended the same.

There she was standing in front of their big perfect house hoping that maybe if she blinked that the party wouldn’t have ended and she wouldn’t be about to sneak into her window and pretend she hadn’t ever left. She couldn’t remember how many times she stood there staring at the house debating whether or not she should just turn around and go find somewhere else to crash, but in the end she always ended up sneaking back in, for only one reason. That reason was her brother… call her strange but she looked up to him a lot… one of the reasons she did become the party animal that she was. But every night when she came up and dragged herself onto the roof and through her window she knew that the next day after her parents weren’t around she could laugh and joke about all the previous nights’ events. Yes, there were times when she didn’t like what he did but they were family that’s just how it works.

The next morning arrived with a hug hangover and a throbbing headache… nothing some aspirin and a cup of coffee couldn’t fix though. Unlike all the other times… this morning was different. Her parents were arguing in their room which was pretty strange they rarely argued…mostly they just ignored any issues that came up. It was strange but her slim shoulders just rose and fell in a shrug of unconcern. She numbly walked past her brother’s room rubbing her head not noticing the emptiness of the room. Down the stairs to the kitchen, her hand reached out toward the counter to grab the aspirin that was usually always ready for her set there from her brother already having used it, but this time she reached out… only to grab air. Her eyelids blinked a few times before looking around the kitchen… He wasn’t there… the coffee wasn’t made… there was no aspirin. Her brow furrowed over in confusion as she made her way up the stairs again retracing her steps and ignoring the mumbled words that where flying around in her parent’s room. She peered into the door that blocked the entrance to her brother’s room expecting to find the disastrous mess that it usually concealed followed by him grumbling for her to leave from under the covers. But she didn’t find either of those things… the room was slightly messy but not by his clothes strung all over the floor and various other things… but by crooked pictures open drawers and scrap remnants of the existence of her brother.

Blinking again in confusion she walked slowly out of the room to her parent’s door leaning her ear against it lightly to hear what was going on. “He’s not coming back Ella.” “I don’t care if you bring him back kicking and screaming William. Go bring my baby home.” “He’s a grown man Ella let him grow up.” After that she stopped listening… it was all obvious what happened…. He left and he wasn’t coming back. Her heart still clung to the idea that he would come back for her… or he’d call or something. He wouldn’t just abandon her without explaining… or even saying goodbye….Would he? She moved numbly back down the stairs and toward the front door walking out onto the front porch and staring at the empty spot where his truck was usually parked. Half expecting it to be sitting there when she opened the door her heart sunk a little more. How could he just abandon her like that? Leaving her with this mess to deal with. She sunk down onto the front steps leaning against the hand rail….unsure of what she was supposed to do now. Lost, hurt, confused, and alone…..That girl was Vivian Kings.

Her act was slowly starting to come crashing down… remembering all this was becoming a burden she could no longer hold on her shoulders. When Sebastian left her she felt betrayed, abandon, lost, confused, hurt, and broken… multiply that by a million and one and that’s how she felt now after Tyler had cheated on her. She had had her share of boyfriends in the past but she never once loved any of them or ever gave them her heart, but she did with Tyler she gave him everything. Walking into that room and seeing him laying there with some tramp who wasn’t good enough to clean the manure off the bottom of Vivian’s shoes was like someone digging out her heart with a sthingy and leaving the space where it was empty and raw. Without Tyler she wasn’t even sure she knew who she was… She’d gotten control of her eating disorder for him. She stopped drinking for him. She was doing everything and anything all just for him. You couldn’t even imagine the pain she was in… Crying herself to sleep night after night, clutching at her chest hoping… praying that It will finally stop hurting she was trying everything she could to get it all to just go away… and that’s what brought her here.

Her heart sunk and the tiniest bit of hope that was left in her eyes was crushed when he uttered the words she had been afraid to hear. “I’m not dealer.” It wasn’t like she couldn’t find anyone else, who could hook her up with what she wanted, but that meant starting back at square one and she wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to be able to last. She looked up from the ground where her eyes sunk to in disappointment only to see him reach into his pocket and extend what he had left. “It’s all I got on me, but it’s better than nothing.” Relief filled her entire body probably extremely evident in her eyes but even the smallest amount was good enough for her… So long as its effects were what she wanted. She just wanted to finally feel numb, to be free from the aching pain that pinned her down on a constant day to day basis. All her hope was hanging on this little bag. She didn’t know what she would do if it didn’t work, but she couldn’t bring herself to think about that what if.

A smile didn’t come over her face she couldn’t bring that expression on naturally anymore and she figured Dustin would know she was faking it. Plus there was no real reason to fake it around him… for all she knew he was just some guy who didn’t know her and probably never would aside from the fact that he was now the only one who knew she was in enough pain that drugs were her only answer. He didn’t seem like the tattle tale type though so she didn’t feel threatened. A small look of appreciation came over her after she glanced at the properties that the bag contained. “Thanks…What do I owe you?” Vivian wasn’t a druggy nor had she ever done this before… but she did know that this stuff wasn’t cheep and nothing in this world came for free so she dug into her back pocket for the wad of cash she had feeling through it waiting for his response. That tiny glimmer of hope had returned and she for once had something to look forward to… It had been a long time since she had felt like this before. It felt good to know…to hope that soon all the pain and thoughts and memories would soon all fade away and she would be free from the clutches of hell. Though she was fairly sure that hell was a lot less painful than what she was experiencing now… Either way she felt relieved all thanks to Dustin…