Post by Sydney Montgomery on Sept 21, 2009 23:01:02 GMT -5
It was a warm day in Pinewood, West Virginia. The sun was shining, a light breeze was blowing... all in all it was just about a perfect day. It was nearing the end of summer, so the days were a little cooler, and the nights were practically freezing, but to many it was a welcome change. With the cooler temperatures there came the ability to work and ride longer without the risk of over-heating. Such was the comfort for Sydney Montgomery, and she certainly needed to be able to work and ride longer these days. It had been nearly three months since the day the 18 year old had come to the terrifying realization that she was, in fact, pregnant and that her whole life was going to have to change quite quickly. She was determined to be one of those women who gained only the weight of a healthy baby and would lose almost all of that weight after the baby was born, and that meant she was going to work twice as hard to keep her weight in check than she normally did.
Currently, she certainly didn't look pregnant, but her waist line had begun to disappear, and her normal curves were slowly becoming not nearly so curvy. She knew she wasn't fat, but that didn't mean she didn't feel fat. She hated having to wear bigger clothes, and the more her formerly perfectly toned and slender waistline expanded, obviously she had to wear bigger clothes. It was irritating to her really, first because she, like any girl, hated having to move up a size, and secondly because she really didn't have much money to spend on clothing. Ever since she had become independent from her dad at 17 years old, every penny she had made from the competitions at the rodeo was put into the horses. Sure, some of it went to her house, some to food, and some to the truck... but for the most part, everything she earned, she put into the horses.
Monty had been her life since the day she got him as a yearling when she was 10 years old. She spent every second she possibly could with that horse. If she wasn't riding, then she was grooming, if she wasn't grooming, then she was pampering, and if she wasn't doing any of that which is before mentioned, odds were she was curled up asleep in the back corner of his stall where no one could get to her without first going through him... the one place where she knew she was perfectly safe from any and all harm. All her life, the only time she ever felt completely safe was when she was with Monty. She was so connected to that horse that she knew that as long as she was near him no one could ever hurt her. Even when she was with Andrew, or when she had been with Ryan, even though neither of them had ever done anything to indicate they might ever even consider hurting her... they were still men, and she knew if they wanted to force her to do something, she wouldn't be able to stop them... but Monty would kill anyone who even so much as raised their voice towards her.
Her fear wasn't unwarranted... but she wanted to make certain no one ever found out about it. When most people looked at her all they saw was a self confident bitch who knew what she wanted out of life and was going to get it no matter what the cost... but inside, she was really just a hurting and scarred little girl who was bound by fear and couldn't find the strength to get past her fear. She had been only 16 when it happened, and even though she was only 18 now, she had matured so much since then. Everything that had been innocent fun had been changed in an instant and replaced with fear. Deep down, she desperately wanted to tell someone, and to get help in moving past this, but she was simply so afraid that the man who had done those unspeakable things to her would somehow find out and would make good on his threat to kill her. Those scars ran deep, and took control of her inmost being, crippling her socially.
Somehow though, in those two years she had managed to find a way to hide it, to make people think that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her, that she was strong and steadfast, when really she was weak and being bent to the will of the harsh wind. But when she was with the chestnut horse who had been the only constant in her life, she was untouchable. It was as if the strong willed horse was transferring some of his wild energy into her and giving her the ability get back up again and keep going every time she was knocked down. That was why morning had found her silently sleeping in the corner of the horse's stall curled up with the barn cat that kept Monty company so often. It was those nights when she felt like she was just going to crumble under the tremendous weight of her secret, and when she stayed with Monty she knew he would keep her safe from anyone who might try to do her harm in her weakest moment.
So far, today had not been a good day. She'd been sick all morning, which had caused her to not only miss morning feedings and workouts, but also her doctor's appointment. She had felt so awful that she couldn't drag herself out of bed no matter how hard she tried, and even when she finally did manage to get herself up, it had only been so she could get to the bathroom and avoid being sick all over her bed. Being pregnant had not been treating her well at all. If she hadn't dropped out of high school, she would only be just graduating this year, and she couldn't imagine trying to deal with this while going to school, and was quite glad she had decided her career was more important than an education and gone into rodeo full time and given up completely on school. She hated being sick since it meant she couldn't ride, and riding was the only thing that was keeping her sane.
About noon the morning sickness had subsided, and she had finally made it to the stable, though she certainly wasn't feeling all that well. Hobo had been thrilled to see her since it meant he got his food... needless to say, she and Hobo hadn't really connected yet. Monty though, she knew was pleased to see her for other reasons. He had worked up quite a sweat over his sleek body from pacing his stall worrying about her. The connection she had with him was certainly a once in a lifetime love. He always knew when something wasn't right with her, and he was always looking out for her in his own special way. When she'd given him his feed, he'd refused to touch it, and hovered at the stall door nickering anxiously at her, trying to figure out what had set her off this morning, and if it was a person, who that person was so he could lay into them.
Sydney had waited some time before giving up on getting Monty to eat, and took him out of his stall and out to the pasture. She unclipped his lead once there, and lay down in the cool grass wearily. Even just carrying around what little extra weight she had was exhausting. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep there with the ever faithful Monty never wandering further than 10 feet away from her, and constantly looking back at her to make sure she was still there. Yes, he was a little over obsessed with her, and it was strange for a horse to act that way, but in as much as he was the only life Sydney knew, Sydney was the only life Monty knew, and when something was wrong with her, in his simple mind it meant he needed to protect her from whatever was bothering her, even though on a day like today, there was no possible way he could protect her from what it was that was bothering her.
So that was the scene that would meet the eyes of anyone in the general vicinity of the pastures. A large and well built chestnut stallion grazing peacefully beside the still form of a young girl. It could perhaps look like something horrible had happened, seeing her lying there in the grass completely motionless... perhaps having been thrown from the horse and getting hurt... but anyone who cared to look closer would find no need for concern. She had been deprived of sleep a lot lately, and she definitely needed it today after having been sick all morning. So far, she was hating being pregnant, and was definitely not liking being welcomed to her future in such a way... but there was nothing she could do about it now.
Currently, she certainly didn't look pregnant, but her waist line had begun to disappear, and her normal curves were slowly becoming not nearly so curvy. She knew she wasn't fat, but that didn't mean she didn't feel fat. She hated having to wear bigger clothes, and the more her formerly perfectly toned and slender waistline expanded, obviously she had to wear bigger clothes. It was irritating to her really, first because she, like any girl, hated having to move up a size, and secondly because she really didn't have much money to spend on clothing. Ever since she had become independent from her dad at 17 years old, every penny she had made from the competitions at the rodeo was put into the horses. Sure, some of it went to her house, some to food, and some to the truck... but for the most part, everything she earned, she put into the horses.
Monty had been her life since the day she got him as a yearling when she was 10 years old. She spent every second she possibly could with that horse. If she wasn't riding, then she was grooming, if she wasn't grooming, then she was pampering, and if she wasn't doing any of that which is before mentioned, odds were she was curled up asleep in the back corner of his stall where no one could get to her without first going through him... the one place where she knew she was perfectly safe from any and all harm. All her life, the only time she ever felt completely safe was when she was with Monty. She was so connected to that horse that she knew that as long as she was near him no one could ever hurt her. Even when she was with Andrew, or when she had been with Ryan, even though neither of them had ever done anything to indicate they might ever even consider hurting her... they were still men, and she knew if they wanted to force her to do something, she wouldn't be able to stop them... but Monty would kill anyone who even so much as raised their voice towards her.
Her fear wasn't unwarranted... but she wanted to make certain no one ever found out about it. When most people looked at her all they saw was a self confident bitch who knew what she wanted out of life and was going to get it no matter what the cost... but inside, she was really just a hurting and scarred little girl who was bound by fear and couldn't find the strength to get past her fear. She had been only 16 when it happened, and even though she was only 18 now, she had matured so much since then. Everything that had been innocent fun had been changed in an instant and replaced with fear. Deep down, she desperately wanted to tell someone, and to get help in moving past this, but she was simply so afraid that the man who had done those unspeakable things to her would somehow find out and would make good on his threat to kill her. Those scars ran deep, and took control of her inmost being, crippling her socially.
Somehow though, in those two years she had managed to find a way to hide it, to make people think that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her, that she was strong and steadfast, when really she was weak and being bent to the will of the harsh wind. But when she was with the chestnut horse who had been the only constant in her life, she was untouchable. It was as if the strong willed horse was transferring some of his wild energy into her and giving her the ability get back up again and keep going every time she was knocked down. That was why morning had found her silently sleeping in the corner of the horse's stall curled up with the barn cat that kept Monty company so often. It was those nights when she felt like she was just going to crumble under the tremendous weight of her secret, and when she stayed with Monty she knew he would keep her safe from anyone who might try to do her harm in her weakest moment.
So far, today had not been a good day. She'd been sick all morning, which had caused her to not only miss morning feedings and workouts, but also her doctor's appointment. She had felt so awful that she couldn't drag herself out of bed no matter how hard she tried, and even when she finally did manage to get herself up, it had only been so she could get to the bathroom and avoid being sick all over her bed. Being pregnant had not been treating her well at all. If she hadn't dropped out of high school, she would only be just graduating this year, and she couldn't imagine trying to deal with this while going to school, and was quite glad she had decided her career was more important than an education and gone into rodeo full time and given up completely on school. She hated being sick since it meant she couldn't ride, and riding was the only thing that was keeping her sane.
About noon the morning sickness had subsided, and she had finally made it to the stable, though she certainly wasn't feeling all that well. Hobo had been thrilled to see her since it meant he got his food... needless to say, she and Hobo hadn't really connected yet. Monty though, she knew was pleased to see her for other reasons. He had worked up quite a sweat over his sleek body from pacing his stall worrying about her. The connection she had with him was certainly a once in a lifetime love. He always knew when something wasn't right with her, and he was always looking out for her in his own special way. When she'd given him his feed, he'd refused to touch it, and hovered at the stall door nickering anxiously at her, trying to figure out what had set her off this morning, and if it was a person, who that person was so he could lay into them.
Sydney had waited some time before giving up on getting Monty to eat, and took him out of his stall and out to the pasture. She unclipped his lead once there, and lay down in the cool grass wearily. Even just carrying around what little extra weight she had was exhausting. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep there with the ever faithful Monty never wandering further than 10 feet away from her, and constantly looking back at her to make sure she was still there. Yes, he was a little over obsessed with her, and it was strange for a horse to act that way, but in as much as he was the only life Sydney knew, Sydney was the only life Monty knew, and when something was wrong with her, in his simple mind it meant he needed to protect her from whatever was bothering her, even though on a day like today, there was no possible way he could protect her from what it was that was bothering her.
So that was the scene that would meet the eyes of anyone in the general vicinity of the pastures. A large and well built chestnut stallion grazing peacefully beside the still form of a young girl. It could perhaps look like something horrible had happened, seeing her lying there in the grass completely motionless... perhaps having been thrown from the horse and getting hurt... but anyone who cared to look closer would find no need for concern. She had been deprived of sleep a lot lately, and she definitely needed it today after having been sick all morning. So far, she was hating being pregnant, and was definitely not liking being welcomed to her future in such a way... but there was nothing she could do about it now.
