Lost sight, not heart

[Alex Lovasz]

Alex got lost just standing there looking into Kings stall. She was sure this was what she wanted to do. Going to the round pins or arena would make things worse. The track was still dangerous but she would feel more relaxed there and hopefully so would Loco. Sure she was nervous about going onto a track with a horse that hated pretty much everything and had never been ridden. Man She was nutts. But this is what she lived for. Her life revolved around racing and without it she'd just about die. Now she had high hopes that Loco would be the one to introduce her back to the track and visa versa but at the rate they were going it was a far off dream. So she needed to take this chance. For her own sake.

She was brought back to reality by Loco slamming the door again. She flinched then clenched her eyes closed. No one had any idea what they both had been through. Sure she hadn't had much of a past but she still held her secret of why she left racing. Why she stopped Jockeying after her first race. She didn't like to talk about it. Of course if Anthony asked she would tell him but he'd be the only one. She didn't really trust anyone else. Not anymore anyways. And as much as she wanted to just stay with him and lounge around she also wanted to finally get out there. Just thinking about the track sent chills up her spine and forced a smile across her face. This was her passion her love. Before anthony she was pretty sure it was the only thing she loved.

Loco on the other hand had it way worse than she. Being of great bloodlines but horrible temperment was a hard thing for any trianer to over come. And when he threw jockeys and pretty much tried to murder any human that touched him it only made his chances of success even worse. They began to abuse him hoping that would lessen his dominant state but that just made things worse. it was no wonder they didn't change his name to Diablo. He began to hate the world. So the stopped his training only being able to see him run once. When he did it was like lightning but no one was ever able to tap into that incredible stamina because they couldn't get past his temper. The lady that bought him thought she could get him past it with a gentler touch. She had gotten much further then his previous owner but he was too much horse for her to handle and he wouldn't alow any male to come near him. So she sold him. And Alex was the only one interested in him.... He had to much of a past for anyone to take a chance on him. Except Alex they all said she was insane. But she believes in the monster. That he just needed someone to take the time. And she'd be that person.

So they packed up their things and moved here. Pinewood. It was the only place that Alex could get the Maniac Stallion into. Then all this with Anthony happened so fast. Life was so crazy. But Alex enjoyed every moment of it. Sure she had seen what happened with Anthony on the track but that didn't faze her. She had seen her far share of accidents including her own but nothing was able to scare her enough to keep her away. She would probably die on the track.... But she would definatly die if she was kept off. So in answer to his question yes she was definatly....not sure. But she was going out there anyway. " Yeah i'm sure. I need to do this...... Will you still come?" She knew it might be hard for him to go out there so soon. For both mental and physical reasons. But she hoped he would. She would appreciate his support.

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony couldn't seem to rid himself of the apprehension he felt at the prospect of the track. What was wrong with him? He had spent his whole life out on the track, how could one accident possibly cause him to fear going back out there. He didn't want to feel this way, but he couldn't help it. Maybe his common sense had kicked in and was telling him, against his will, that it was too dangerous. He couldn't let that happen. But he wasn't even going to be riding, so why was he so worried about just going there? Maybe he was worried for Alex.

He gave no outward sign of this fear though, and ran his hand down her arm to her hand and smiled. Of course I'll still come. He said confidently, making it seem even more like he wasn't worried at all about going out there. I wouldn't miss it for the world...besides, I said I wouldn't ever dream of leaving you, that includes when you're about to go get yourself killed. He added the last part entirely as a sarcastic remark. He knew she would be fine. After all, what were the odds that both of them would get injured only two weeks apart doing the same thing? Not very high.

It was partly true though, even if she was about to walk into her death, he was going to be right there along side her. Even if it would kill him too, he didn't care. Life, to him, wouldn't be worth living if she died, especially if she'd died without him beside her. That would kill him faster than being on pain meds would kill him...and that was saying a lot. She'd seen him when he'd been on morphine, it had caused so much pain that he very nearly had died within a few minutes. Her departure from life would be even worse than that. He wouldn't be able to function. He would hardly be able to think. In fact, he would probably end up going insane and getting put in some mental institution where he would die between sterilized white walls instead of on the dirt with the sound of galloping horses all around him like he was supposed to. No, he wasn't about to let her do anything dangerous without being right there with her.

The track wasn't too far away, and the trail was easy enough to walk on with crutches. He didn't really care if it would make him look like a moron, if a blind horse could walk that trail, then he could too. Being temporarily crippled wasn't as bad as not being able to see a thing. Besides, he had Alex there, if anything happened to him, he knew she would help him, just like she had when the accident had happened. Even though he hadn't even realized she was there during that time, she had been, and he knew it. No one had to tell him. When he'd come out of the anesthesia she had been there, and he knew that she hadn't left him for a single moment except to check on King while he'd been in surgery. Neither one of them was going to leave the other, and he was confident that with her beside him he could do anything.

[Alex Lovasz]

Being this close to him just about drove her mad. She was this close but she knew she should go tend to her lunatic horse. She smiled and looked up at him. Things were so perfect..... Well despite the crazy horse slamming the door and his injuries and his blind horse. But even those things made everything all the more better for her. With out them things wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't change a thing. Course she wished he wasn't hurt but if he wouldn't have gotten hurt they might never confessed their love nor even be talking. So in a way there was a bright side to all the trauma. She was so sure that the whole world was jealous of them. And if they weren't they should be. She couldn't be any happier.

Alex got goose bumps when he ran his hand down her arm to her hand. Every look, every touch. every word he spoke to her made her go week. Which normally would drive her crazy. She was naturally a strong person both physically and mentally and being that week would make her feel uncomfortable but when it was him it didn't matter. She was always happy around him. Well sure she was worried nearly to death whenever she was but that was something she couldn't help. She would always worry about him. But she wouldn't hold him back if anything she would push him on making sure he always went to his limit. She wouldn't let him give up. Especially on racing. There was no way she would let him back down from that.

She was glad he was still going to come. And with that started to move to Loco's stall but then his second comment hit her. It hit hard. She knew he was joking but it was a more complicating then that. Because it was truly possible racing was dangerous enough with a sane horse let alone an insane horse. But she hid her feelings well and smiled. She was happy he still didn't plan on leaving her. But racing was a her first love course there was room for both and she probably would put him first over racing sometimes. But this was a passion they both held so she didn't have to worry. Besides the possibility of dying on the track at any moment. But wasn't that all apart of the thrill? Sure she was scared but that wouldn't stop her. When had it ever stopped her?

Still keeping her smile she winked at him. "I'm not gunna die don't worry. I wouldn't dream of leaving you alone with 2 nutcase horses." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Then moved down the aisle to Loco's stall. She grabbed the lead rope and slipped into the stall. She knew better then to take him out to tack up. So she brought in the slightly heavier then a racing saddle in and placed it and the pad on His back. She kept her dominant exterior even tho inside she was filled with nerves and excitment. But she knew better then to express that energy when around Loco or anyone really. "I hope this goes well." She hollered out to Anthony. "or at least better then last time." She mumbled to herself. She slipped the halter off and slid the bridle on before he could act up. She took a deep breath and placed the helmet on her head but kept in unbuckled.

She lead the magnificant coal black horse out of the stall. She stopped and looked at Anthony. This was making her so happy, to be with the perfect guy and now for the first time in 3 years going back on the track. It was like the best day ever. She would never forget it and she hadn't even gone tot the track yet. She gulped and walked down the aisle. She stopped when she reached Anthony. "Ready?" She wanted to be there already so she couldn't change her mind.

As her worry came over her she thought of all the horses that had lost their lives on the track or because of it. It broke her heart. But she also knew that most race horses would go till it killed them just because they loved the track so much. So i guess the saying "there was a bright side to everything" was true. She needed Anthony more then she thought. She found reasurance in his gaze. This was a big hurtle in their course but it was one they needed to face head on and Alex was the girl to do it. So the three of them stood there about to do something that no one thought possible. Ride Loco on the track.

ooc: Hope you likes.

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony smiled at her comment about leaving him with two insane horses. He didn't see that going over too well. Seeing as now Loco pretty much hated him and would like nothing better than to kill him, there was no way he would be able to handle the horse like Alex did. Everyone had their special touch somewhere, his was with the blind racehorse he was standing next to, not the insane one just down the aisle. Although, he had some hope that maybe King was regaining sight. If that was the case, well...then both of them could get back into real racing again. Sure King was getting old to be racing, five years now, but hey. Seabiscuit came back at seven and won the Santa Anita, who was to say that King, who had never been more fit in his life, couldn't come back at five and become the champion he used to be?

Anthony stayed down near King's stall, he knew better than to go where Loco could see him, that would probably be a disaster. He didn't want Alex to get hurt by the horse on his account. King was starting to get jealous of all the attention Alex was getting from Anthony and poked his head out of the stall and nudged Anthony's arm. The jockey lifted his hand to the horse's head and traced the white line down the center of his forehead as he had done many a time before the accident. It was sort of a habit now just to do that. He'd gotten himself a good many habits while working with King...most of them not bad ones.

He returned his attention to Alex as he saw her leading Loco out of his stall. The horse looked very professional in all his tack. This was the first time Anthony had seen the horse with the leather donning his body. Loco was a good looking animal, even if he did want to kill Anthony. The last memory Anthony had of the horse was him attacking Anthony and then taking off out towards the pastures. He didn't have any bitter feelings towards him though, he'd been bitten by King enough times that it really wasn't a big deal to be bitten by any horse any more.

Always. Anthony replied when she asked if he was ready. He was going to completely ignore the fact that he was still concerned about going back out there. He was going to have to some day, better now than later. He had to go out there before he was healed enough to ride, otherwise the fear would translate through him into King, and that would end in disaster. The horse picked up everything Anthony felt, and then exaggerated it by about a million times, so he could only imagine what would happen if he tried to ride King on the track while feeling this way about going out there.

He took hold of the crutches that he had leaned against the wall earlier, and patted King on the neck once more as if to say that he would be back. He hated having to use the crutches to get everywhere, but there wasn't a thing he could do about it, so he would just have to deal with it. Like any guy, he didn't like the world being able to see that he was in pain and needed the aid of something just to walk. It was that whole pride issue again. For Alex though, he would do anything. Even if it meant he had to use crutches to get there, he was going to be at the track while she rode giving her his support.

[Alex Lovasz]

She took a deep breath hoping he wouldn't sense her uneasiness as she did so. She held a loose grip on the reigns but still kept on her toes incase the monster tried anything. Loco snorted and stamped his foot in impatients. He looked to Anthony, it was almost scary the horse seemed to hate him and he didn't have any reason to. It wasn't really possible for a horse to hate someone though and Alex knew he was pretty mean to every male but he seemed to have it out for Anthony. Maybe he was jealous of the attention he was getting from Alex. She didn't know but she hoped he would get over it and relax. She looked over him while Anthony grabbed his crutches. He was such a beautiful horse... now... But when he got into a mood it was like a raging wildfire.

She smiled though despite the fact that she was super nervous but she just kept telling herself the nerves were nerves of excitment and not because she was afraid. Because she wasn't she knew she couldn't be. Sure it had been 3 years since she had ever ridden a horse on the track but she hadn't forgotten a thing. She patted Loco on the neck and tried to think of something to say to hopefully ease her tension but nothing came. Her mind went blank. And she wondered if Anthony was nervous about going back to the track. I mean this was his first time since the accident and even though he wasn't going to be riding on it, it could still be very nerve wreaking. She looked over at him a smiled. Even if he was afraid or uneasy about going it had to happen sooner or later and in this case sooner was way better then later. She wasn't about to let him get scared of the track even though she was pretty sure she would be anxious everytime he rode now but she wouldn't let him know that.

Once he had gathered himself she clucked to Loco and started walking making sure she paced Loco. Partly for Anthony and partly because she didn't want loco to get excited about going somewhere in a hurry. Here went nothing. She was heading for the track and there was no turning back now. She had to go through with this. For her own sake and Loco's. She took another deep breath and looked over to Anthony putting up a smile. "Well here goes" Her amprehensive feelings started to fade away as she relaxed. She had to around Loco or that would be plan disasterous. And she would rather not have any accidents especially since Anthony had just been in one 2 weeks prior.

It was quite a sight to see the three of them head up the trail. Monster black throughbred being lead by a tiny women with a man in crutches beside them. It would have been even more hilarious if he had King. They were quite the trio that was for sure. And she had high hopes for them. She knew King had the carisma and could easily get back into racing despite his age. Loco was still really young and so long as she could get him to pass the test could go back. She had her Jockeys liscence but hadn't ridden since the accident which was 3 years ago so she would most liekly need to get it renewed but she wasn't sure. They were both on their way back tot the track. One big happy racing family.

[Anthony Lovasz]

It wasn't a long walk out to the track, but it seemed like it took ages. Possibly because he was on crutches which made walking significantly more difficult. A more likely answer to this though was probably the tension that seemed to surround all of them. For Anthony, he didn't know why, just the though of the track stirred up his nerves. For Alex, he wasn't sure why either but he was guessing it had something to do with the fact that Loco could possibly do something crazy and get both of them hurt. For Loco...it seemed to Anthony that the horse just wanted to kill him which was always a source of tension.

When finally, after what seemed like forever, the track came into view, Anthony couldn't help but get slightly edgy. From where they were he could see the shattered rail that he and King had broken through, a few of the larger pieces of wood still stained with blood from horse and man. He took a deep breath and continued forwards. There was a small bench like grandstand right by the gate to the track that was looking relatively welcoming. Cursed broken leg, made everything harder. It was difficult for someone in the extremely fit category to deal with such weakness that made it so walking would wear you out. Especially for Anthony. He was just the sort of person who had a hard time admitting weakness, and when the weakness is right there for the world to see, it makes it even worse.

He sighed and stood looking at the track, every moment of the accident flashing through his mind. The eerie scream of the bird, the frightened squeal of the horse, the crack of the rail, the pain, the darkness, the sounds, then nothing. It was all coming back to him. He could see, as if he was a third party watching from the sidelines, as King lurched to the side, his shoulder smashing into the rail with impressive force, and breaking through. They hit the ground. King rolling over and crushing Anthony beneath him. Anthony closed his eyes, blocking out the image. He had to concentrate on something else or he'd never get out there again.

Promise me you won't get yourself hurt... He said suddenly, before even realizing that the thought of saying it had even entered his mind. Oh well, now that he'd started he might as well finish, I can't do this, any of this, without you. By this of course, he meant ride again on the track, get through the withdrawals, and even live. Alex was what kept him going the entire time during the accident and the afterwards. He knew that he was going to have a hard time going out there again, and without her there to push him beyond his limit, he would never be able to do it.

[Alex Lovasz]

As the track came into veiw her heart skipped a beat.She was so happy to be back into the groove of things. But then the broken rail caught her eyes and the whole seen flashed before her. The bird the scream of King the crash and her running to their side. It was worst day she had expirienced there and she wanted to forget about it. She was sure Anthony was even more engulfed with nightmares about it. But looking at the blood stained wood sent chills up her spine. She shuddered and looked down at Anthony's leg. She clenched onto the reigns for support and clamped her eyes shut forcing the memories to go away she was here with Loco and they would be fine. Or at least thats what she tried to convince herself. But she couldn't help replay the whole scenario in her mind.

She looked back up and loosened her grip trying not to send to many mixed signals to the Black beast. She was dressed in breaches and knee high black boots showing off her skinny legs along with white tank top under a black one. Her helmet placed over her head and a blonde ponytail hanging out the back of it. She looked ready to ride. And she thought she was after she forced the images of Anthony and King away. But his words hit her heart with a pang. The startled her to say the least. She looked over to him with a worried glance and he finished. Forgetting about Loco's hatred of him she stepped closer to him extending one hand around his waist with the other holding Loco. Sure she had pretty much lost her mind. She looked up into his eyes. "I promise. I'll always be here for you" She stood up on her tippy toes slightly and kissed him. Surprisingly Loco stood quite almost in awe of seeing the track again. She released him from her kiss and smiled.

"You should sit down. you don't want to over exert yourself." She was the one about to go on the track on a lunatic horse yet she still had room to worry about him. She was definatly a girl that ws for sure. Always worrying. She let him go still smiling and lead Loco down to the track. She walked through the gate and shut it behind her. Once inside she pulled him to a halt and he danced at the end of the lead. He was anxious and you could tell his whole body was tense. She buckled her helmet and looked over to the benches to find Anthony. Once she spotted him a smile replaced her worred expression. With him there she was so easy going and happy.

She walked around to his left side after checking that it was placed correctly on his back. She doubled check his girth then literally jumped on. He still danced but other then that no reaction. She released the breath that she had been holding in and gathered up the reigns. She looked over her shoulder at Anthony and smiled. "Wish me Luck." She hadn't been planning anything to big but if it was neccisary to keep his focus she would let him all out. For now she just wanted to start off at a trot. So she pulled him to the outside rail and clucked.....

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony tore his gaze from the track and focused on Alex as her arm slipped around his waist and she spoke. He attempted a smile, but for the first time in his life, one refused to come. His thoughts were everywhere. The accident two weeks ago, the accident at the Santa Anita, the countless other accidents he'd had on the track. He couldn't get his mind off of them. As much as he tried to rid himself of them, they stayed right there in his mind, dominating his thoughts. If only he could get up on King now and take him out there and just get it over with. He had a feeling that with time, his anxiety would only increase.

He nodded absently at what she said and as she took Loco out on the track, he took a seat on the bench wearily. It was almost like the shock of the accident had been delayed and was hitting him just now. It was almost as if the fact that it had all happened was just now settling in, like he'd only just realized that he was injured, and that he and his horse were the cause of that ominous hole in the otherwise perfect rail. He sighed shakily, propping his elbows on his knees and momentarily dropping his head into his hands. Who knew that this could take so much out of a man?

After a moment or two, he looked back up and watched Alex on Loco. Finally, that hint of a smile appeared. It wasn't the smile he usually had, but hey, it was an improvement from nothing. Before the accident, he wouldn't have thought it possible that anyone could get up on that horse, but there was Alex, sitting astride him like she'd been born up there. Wish me luck. Those words reverberated in his ears like he'd been sitting next to a cathedral bell that someone had just rung. Those were the last words he'd said to Alex before he'd started working King. Those were the last words he'd said to any human before all the progress he'd made in recovering from the last accident had been ruined. He shook the thought from his head. He had to stop being so negative. With all my heart. He said, a real smile appearing for a brief interval.

As she started Loco out at a trot, he couldn't help but compare the way Loco moved to the other horses he'd ridden. His trot was fluid like the little gray racer, Shadow of a Doubt's had been. The way he carried himself was much like the way his giant blind runner carried himself. Two good combinations. Even though she was on the outside rail, as she neared the general area where he and King had gone down he found himself holding his breath, his heart pounding, and that fear rekindling in his mind. She wasn't even moving at a gallop like he and King had been but he kept expecting the bird's screech, the horse's frightened whinny, the ear splitting crack of bone against wood, the sirens and lights, and the worried voices of medics. What would he do if she got hurt out there? He couldn't exactly move very quickly, and even if he got out there, Loco would probably try to kill him. He felt so helpless, so powerless, and nothing had even happened.

[Alex Lovasz]

The fact that he didn't smile like he usually always does worried her exceedingly but she pushed it out of her mind she had to focus on the horse benieth her. She held the reigns loosely as he moved easily the horse had great movement she had to admit. A huge smile pressed over her face she had missed this so much even if they were just at a trot just being on the track riding again felt good. The memories flooded back and she realised how stupid she was for going to work in a stinkin office when she could have been riding. But after three years her fears had faded instead of built up like they would have with most people. She had a terrible accident her first ride and would never forget the scene. The horse didn't make it and after that she never rode a horse on the track again. Until now that was and she felt great like a mother whom had just given birth and was looking down at her child she was just glowing with joy.

The came around to where King and Anthony went throught the fence and eve though she was on the outside she still winced just looking at it. Just as she did so the huge animal under her spooked and jumped to the inside. His spook caught her off guard and in return her foot slipped from the stirrup. She snatched up his mane as she started to slide and loco took off at a gallop. She tried not to panic and to stay calm but it was hard when you horse was getting faster and faster and you were slipping off. All she could think about was the accident 2 weeks ago and how she couldn't get hurt. She didn't want to make Anthony worry even though she knew the situation she was in probably already accomplished that.

Some outer body force hit her and she pulled herself up with the patch of mane she had. By some miracle she got her foot into the stirrup and regained her balance. But there was not stoppping Loco now. They were already around the back stretch and picking up speed. She grabbed the reigns but he had the bit so she just had to stay on the mad dashing thoroughbred. Even though it was life threating and she could so easily lose her life she couldn't help but think how amazing he was moving. The horse was amazing so instead of fightt him for who was in charge she pushed him on knowing that trying to slow him wouldn't work. So she pushed him making him go faster. With each stride he lengthened. Her eyes narrowed as she leaned further over him asking him to give her all he had. The measly gallop that he had before was put to shame. He had been weaving all over the track and now she had in on the inside rail going straight and hard. And he just kept going.

They flashed passed the benches and thats when she knew he was jsut warming up but he had gotten distracted by her pushing him and had released the bit. She noticed imidiately and began to pull him up. Despite his want to he did they moved down to a canter then trot. She was well past the benches so she turned him around to the outside rail at a trot then walk then stopped him and jumped off. Without a second thought she was bending over to check his legs making sure that the mad dash they had just went on hadn't flared anything up. Thankfully they were all cool she sighed with relief then looked over to the benches.....

[Anthony Lovasz]

Everything seemed to be going perfectly smoothly and Anthony almost forgot to worry about her getting hurt out on the track. Just as he was about to stop watching their every move, Loco lurched in towards the rail throwing Alex off balance. Anthony could have sworn that he went into cardiac arrest right then and there. His heart seemed to stop, his lungs refused to expand and retract, even his brain seemed to stop sending messages to his body. His eyes were locked on the two of them as Loco sped off down the track at a restrained gallop as Alex fought to get back on Loco and regain her balance. Everything was so tentative when riding with shortened stirrups like jockeys did. Just get off a little and your balance is completely ruined. It seemed so with Alex.

When she somehow or another managed to pull herself back up on the horse, they were about half way around the turn and getting farther. Ignoring the pain, Anthony pushed himself up from the bleachers, leaving the crutches where they were, and limped the two or three steps to the rail. To be perfectly honest, that wasn't the first time he'd gone somewhere without the crutches. He hated them, and would leave them whenever he only had a short distance to go. He placed both hands on the white washed rail coated with a layer of dirt from so many horses racing by years ago, and watched Alex as she and Loco gained speed and momentum.

Even from the distance he was from them, he could tell that Loco had seized the bit in his teeth and was now running at will. He could tell this partly because he'd seen it so many times and partly because he knew Alex probably wouldn't have let him run like that otherwise. The pair started slowing as they neared him again, Alex regaining control. When she jumped off and checked Loco's legs, he could breathe again, she wasn't hurt. He sunk wearily back on his seat as she looked up towards him.

Going back out there was going to be harder than he had anticipated, but as soon as he got this cast of he was going to do it...or at least try to. Normally, he would wait a couple of months after getting the cast off because he knew King as such a controlling animal. This time though, the horse seemed changed for the better and Anthony had a feeling that he would be quite a bit more responsive to the reins than he normally had been. Plus, Anthony was still wondering if maybe King could see a little. After all, in all the time he'd had the horse, he hadn't once seen his eye shift from one object to another, but today he had seen it...or at least he thought he had. If King could see though, even if only a little, he could race again.

[Alex Lovasz]

Alex looked up just in time to see Anthony sit down. She knew he must have gotten worried but she was more worried about loco at the moment. She doubled check him all over just incase. Once she was satisfied that he was fine she finally had time to let her own bodily injuries settle in. Her right shoulder was killing her and felt like someone pulled it out of its socket and her left leg felt like she pulled something. But Despite the impeccable pain she was in she tried to block it out no need to worry anyone. She lifted the reigns over Loco's head and lead him over tot the rail infront of Anthony. She sort of limped but tried her best to cover it up though she was convinced she was doing a horrible job. She stopped Loco and leaned on the rail trying not to put pressure on her leg of shoulder. "Well that was a bit more then i wanted to do today." She said with a laugh and a smile. She had no clue how she managed to smile right then but she figured she was still trying not to make it into a big deal even though it had scared the crap out of her.

Its funny she managed to keep her wits about her while she was on the horse but now she felt like fainting. She was terrified and knew she needed to sit down. So before even looking at Anthony again she lead Loco out the gate she moved over to a tree and quickly unsaddled him and tied him to the tree. She left the saddle and pad on the grass and moved over to the bench. She was shaking all over. It wasn't as if she had never been on a horse going that fast it was more the almost falling off a horse going fast enough to where the impact could easily break several ribs. She took a deep breath and placed her hands on her knees. She tried not to let it soak in but not being in the moment anymore the danger of the whole situation was sinking in. All she wanted to do was rest and be right there. Of course none of this was enough to keep her off the track nothing could ever do that again. But she was just in shock from the whole thing. She was trying to figure out what had possibly gone wrong and why he would have suddenly spooked for no stinkin reason. But then she remembered this was Loco they were talking about he probably planned it all out in his oddly very smart head.

She was positive the Loco was one of the smartest horses she ever met but she just couldn't get him to use his brains for something good other then trying to murder people. She tried thinking of ways and all she could think of now was just racing him around the track every day. But then she thought maybe he needed someone to capture his attention and keep him focused on running not trying to kill his rider. Maybe just maybe she thought when both him and King were more stable they could help one another out and race them both. but she swiped that thought away she figured there would be no way to get Anthony to agree to that after seeing what a nutcase her horse was but he of all people would understand. She would just put that idea on hold for now.

She was still shaking just at the thought of what happened and it all just kept replaying in her mind and from where she was sitting she could see the whole thing happening and at the same time could see Anthony and King going through the fence. She couldn't talk no words were coming out of her mouth plus she was scared that if she did start talking she would crack. But she knew they would both be back out there as soon as they could. And she would make him if she had to thought she was pretty sure she wouldn't Anthony was as much in love with the track as she was and if he was anything like she thought he was then he would want to go out there as soon as the cast was off. In fact she was sure he would try to get on even with the cast. Course she wouldn't let him but she figured he'd still want to. She knew what it was like to go a while without riding. It was like having your whole world destroyed then having to rebuild it. She hated it and knew he did to.

Just sitting next to him made her feel better. More relaxed and reassured that everything was ok. She was a strong person and never let anyone see when she was scared mainly just because she didn't trust anyone enough to show them how she really felt but with Anthony things were different she knew she could trust him and could let him see that she was terrified. She hated, just like him, to let the world see her when she was weak and even being weak just infront of him was hard she was used to always being the strong one whom everyone could rely on. The one that was never scared or upset. Though she was usually always worried about something but never about her horse or her safety she just held it all inside and never showed it. She couldn't it was to hard to let them see you when your down. She had learned that the hard way. But with Anthony it was slightly easier because she knew he loved her and cared for her Just as she loved and cared for him and his well-being.

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony smiled slightly at her comment, he could tell she was more on edge than she was letting on. He'd come off and almost come off enough horses that he knew it was completely impossible to be perfectly fine after something like that. He'd been racing horses since he was fifteen, six years total. By his reckoning he'd come off a horse during a race about seven times, not including exercises. If you added that it would probably be about 15 or so. Most of the falls happened when he was just starting racing. Down there in Mexico they don't care who gets up on their horses. There was no jockey's license required, no training, no specific weights or heights, it didn't matter to them, as long as you were alive then you were approved.

As you can imagine, a bug boy with absolutely no experience racing wouldn't last long on the back of a horse. He'd come off in his first race. The trainer hadn't been too pleased, but no one else seemed to care, and he kept on riding. When he was discovered by the American trainer after a year of racing and moved up to the States, that was when his career really began. Of course, sixteen year olds weren't allowed to race horses in the States, but he rode a lot of horses in exercises. By the time he was eighteen, he was just as good as any jockey, and getting his license had been like picking a daisy. After that, his career sky rocketed. No one knew anything about him except that he brought horses in to finish well. So far, in the States, he hadn't been out of the money more than twice.

It all ended with the Santa Anita. He'd won, yes, but he never made it to the winner's circle. He'd spent probably half an hour lying on the side of the track trying to regain his composure and fight the pain. He'd walked away though, broken arm, ribs, punctured lung, bleeding leg and all. The doctors had almost had a cow, but he wasn't about to let them touch him. That was the last time he'd been on a real track. He'd been about two months away from getting back out there again when all this happened. Now it would probably be at least six more. There was nothing he could do to speed it up though, so he was going to just deal with it as best he could and force himself to stay off King.

When Alex came and sat beside him, he looked towards her in silence for a moment, then put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. He put his other around around her middle and interlocked his hands so that she was closed in. She was shaking slightly in his embrace, probably nerves from the run. He wasn't really sure what to say. He wanted to say something to comfort her, to ease her nerves, but words weren't coming to him. He'd never felt like this for someone before, and he was having a hard time speaking. Of course it bothered him that he didn't know what to say since he wanted to say something so badly, but anything he came up with in his head just didn't fit.

You kept your promise. He said rather absently, not really even realizing that he had said it out loud. He seemed to do that a lot when he was around Alex. He let go of her with one hand and brushed a loose lock of hair from her eyes. He leaned in towards her, and kissed her gently on the cheek, forcing the memories here to the back of his mind so he could focus on Alex completely. And you're still beautiful, even after almost falling off an insane horse running at forty five miles an hour. He smiled and put his arm back around her again. He didn't ever want to let go of her. He was afraid that if he let go she'd disappear into thin air and he'd come to the terrible realization that it had all been a dream. He wouldn't be surprised if it was a dream, after all...was it even possible to find someone as perfect as Alex was in this world?

He certainly hoped it was possible. He just might die if none of this was real and he was actually in the hospital after the Santa Anita and his mind was being distorted by drugs because there was no one there to tell them that the morphine was killing him. Alex really was his savior. So many times he'd been in so much pain that he hadn't been able to talk or even breathe, and so many times she had been there for him as his voice and even his very life. No, he couldn't survive without her, not in a million years. If she was a dream, he was giving up on life right then and there, he had no reason for living.

[Alex Lovasz]

After all the commotion of the day and just in the past 2 weeks she was ready for a vacation. At that moment she wouldn't want to be anywhere but there. Anthony put his arm around her and pulled her close then wrapped his other arm around her. She felt numb and unable to move which was rather frustrating because she didn't want to feel that way if anything she wanted to get up and act as everything was ok but she was pretty sure if she tried to get up she'd end up falling or crying out in pain from her leg. Which was why she was incredible happy he didn't grab her around her shoulders or she would have groaned in the sharp pain that would run across her shoulder. But thankfully his grabbed around her waist.

She tilted her head slightly towards him and let out a heavy but staggered breath. Being in his arms was surely the only place she felt safe. Sure on a horse she felt a rush and at home but it wasn't even close to being safe. With him was her only place of reassurance. She stayed in silence wrapped in his arms but didn't trust herself to speak. She gulped and then he finally broke the silence. She smiled and let a sigh leave her it was a sigh of laughter but the laugh wasn't whole. She still didn't trust her voice though. He swept a lock of hair from her face and kissed her cheek. She nearly melted. Why was it when ever he kissed her felt nearly fell apart like she was his puppet and had totally control of her every move. He was the only one for her.

He spoke again and this time she laughed for real. but then her eyes widened. 45 mph. Was he really going that fast it didn't seem like it when she was falling. Then again all she could think of was getting back to the darn horse that was running away with her. It almost made her even more scared but then she moved past that pushing it right where it belonged in the past. But it didn't work it came forward again and it was all she could think about. Finally words came out of her mouth. "That was so terrifying." Her words were solemn and you could see in her eyes she wasn't joking. She was scared out of her mind. Still shaking but not as much. "Please don't let me go" She never wanted him to let her go. Not ever.

She knew they would have to eventually to get back to the stable but right then all she wanted was for him to hold her. She felt so untouchable like what had just happened on the track couldn't get to her. not when he was holding her. Like he was her force field or something. She couldn't even imagine life without him anymore. She couldn't live without him. She clamped her eyes close hoping he wouldn't disappear when she opened them. She was cold but in his arms was warm. He completed her. The creamer in her coffee. And nothing in the whole world could take her away from him. She never felt this way with anyone and she never wanted there to be anyone else. She was in deep but never wanted to not be in deep.

She felt better the shaking had stopped and her nerves had been calmed. Nothing like that had happened to her before. Being born into the sport she had a natural talent for it and even when exercising riding she had never lost a stirrup. Sure in her one and only race she went flying but not because of losing her balance. This was a whole knew thing for her. No she didn't expect to never fall off but she wasn't expecting to lose her balance. So yeah it was a bit shocking and eye opening. She was just happy to have had Anthony there to comfort her afterwards. Her eyes burned but she wasn't sure if it was because of riding and not having goggles or if it was because she was going to cry. She hoped she wasn't going to cry. She hadn't cried in several years and she wasn't planning on started then. So she took a deep breath and slunk further into his grasp.

She turned her head a little just so she could see loco from the corner of her eye. He was just grazing away as if nothing had happened. but Gawd he was such a gorgeous horse. His muscles rippled under his black shiny coat. Course it was only shiny because he was sweaty and the sun was shining on him. But he still looked amazing. Not a speck of white on him. She couldn't help but admire him even if he did almost kill her. No one would ever know the horse ran the whole track and a dangerous speed uncontrolled. He wasn't even winded she knew he had what it took to get back on the actual track and she would get him there. She had no doubt he could win he just needed to get focused on the racing part not the there is someone on my back trying to control me i gotta kill em mode. And whenever Anthony got his cast of she had every intention on working with there horses together. Even if Loco hated Anthony he was just going to have to get over that.

She turned back and rested her head on Anthonys shoulder. She was pretty sure she would have flipped out if he hadn't been there. She closed her eyes tight again hoping that the burning in her eyes was from the wind. More like Praying that it was and that she wouldn't cry. She couldn't cry no. She wasn't going to. She was to stubborn to cry. She was convinced she would cry. A slight chill ran through her body and she shivered and got goose bumps all over her arms. Thats when she realised she had a huge scrap on down her arm. It was bleeding but she ignored it. She didn't want to ruin the moment by him worrying about getting ehr back to the stable. She knew she probably should but she didn't want to move not right then anyways.

[Anthony Lovasz]

Yes 45 mph, he was guessing though. He couldn't help it. There was an internal clock ingrained in his head and even when he wasn't trying to, he was always timing a moving horse. They'd rounded the track in about the time it would take a horse going 45 mph. About the highest speed he'd gotten King around there was 35-40 mph. which would be expected considering his age currently. The younger horses, like Loco, always had a greater speed around the age of three. After that they usually started to slow down. Anthony wasn't sure though, if it was age or lack of sight that kept King from running like he had as a three year old. He knew the horse didn't lack the heart to run faster, that was for sure.

Anthony tightened his hold around her as she admitted her fear, he knew it wasn't easy. In his opinion though she was more brave than he was. It took more courage than most people knew to admit fear, he hadn't ever done it. There were so many things he was afraid of, another accident, King getting hurt, never getting back into the racing world, not being able to race again, being confined to a desk job, doctors messing his life up even more, not being able to get over this drug problem, and many many more things. Most of all though, he was afraid of losing Alex. He didn't know how he could, but if she died, or if some other guy stole her away, he would kill himself. He wouldn't wait for the pain of losing her to kill him, he would just kill himself so that he wouldn't have to go through all the suffering of having lost her. She meant that much to him.

I won't. He said, saying it straight out instead of finding some clever way of answering. In all my life, you're the only one I've found who's worth holding on to. He could tell that she wanted to cry...that she needed to cry, but she was unwilling to. She had a strong will power, but he had a feeling that if she just kept forcing all of her emotion down into a little bottle inside of her that she would literally go crazy some day. He knew that she had already let more of it out than she would if she was with anyone else, but she needed to let all of it out. He would never think any less of her. Everybody needs somebody to love and love them back unconditionally. He was that somebody for her.

It's okay, He found himself saying softly to her, it's okay to cry. He knew what it was like to have no one else, he understood. She just needed to know that he was there for her, as a friend to laugh with, a shoulder to cry on, an ally to get through hard times with, a voice of reason to aid in making decisions, and just a man...to love her now and forever and for always, no matter what. Even if some other guy did ever somehow or another manage to steal her away from him, he would never stop loving her. He knew everything between them had hapened more quickly than most would consider reasonable, but he didn't care. He loved her and he knew it, it didn't matter what the rest of the world thought.

I'm here for you Alex, He added after a moment, even if I can't walk, or breathe properly, or make your pain disappear, or change anything that has happened. I'm here for you no matter what. He meant every word of it. She had been there for him so many times it was only fitting that he be there for her when she needed him most. He wasn't ever going to leave her. Not in ten million lifetimes and more would he ever even think about leaving her. She was his and he was hers. They belonged to each other now and nothing, nothing at all could ever change that fact.

[Alex Lovasz]

Flashing around the track hanging off the dark stallion, Alex wasn't scared at the moment. No she was smart and kept a clear and calm head on her. But now letting it all soak in she was in total shock. Her body started shaking again and she felt light headed. She had never been more scared.... At least since the last accident. But the whole thing just played over and over in mind and she was begining to get mad and frusterated with herself for not seeing it coming and preventing it. She was mad that she let herself lose the stirrup and all she could think of was what she should have done. It was a bad habit she had aquired she would always get frusterated with herself for messing up and would put herself down subconsciously. Not like she meant to but after living with her father it just seemed to happen. To the point she would block out everyone else and then would issolate herself and put herself down.

Most girls in her place would have ducked out of the relationship because it was going so fast. But she had always done things fast. Hence one of the reasons she was in racing. She loved flying around the track even thought it was life threatening and you could pretty much die in any moment. She had come pretty close to it twice now but she still wanted to ride no matter what. Same thing with Anthony sure it could end in heartbreak and if it did she was pretty sure she would never recover but she loved him and she knew he loved her. So going fast wasn't that scary. He was the only one who understood her. Her only one. The were the perect pair. She loved how she fit perfectly in his arms like she was purposefully made to be right there. She was addicted to him. Addicted to his love. And she only hoped she could love him enough.

He held her tighter and she leaned into him. She wished that his grip could make everything that haunted her and hung over her disapear. He felt like her own personal foce field that no one could break. He spoke softly to her and she felt suddenly weaker. She was so easily moved by his words. She would do anything for him, unless she knew it wasn't good for him. She could speak and her eyes burned so bad now. But she wouldn't let herself cry... She wasn't even sure if she wanted to if she could. She hadn't cried in 3 years and wasn't very big on crying before that either. She just wasn't very keen on emotions and exposing them and since then she never cried it was the day of the accident neither of which she ever talks about. She felt so special when she was around him, like someone actually cared about her and not just because she was the only reason they made money. He actually loved her and she knew it. And she Loved him back more then anyone could.

As if reading her mind he told her it was ok to cry. But it wasn't not for her. it wasn't ok to cry. Her dad was a very strong person and never let his children cry about anything he raised them up thinking crying was a weakness and she still thought it was. She turned in his grasp and placed her arms under his and her hands on his shoulders hidding her face from his. She just didn't think she could bring herself to that. Her eyes burned like heck and she was shaking and felt light headed and cold and she just wanted him to hold her even tighter to make her warm. She pulled back slightly to liike into his eyes. Her blonde hair hung over her shoulder, it had fallen out of the ponytail it had been in. Her bangs swept across her face a few strands hung loose in her face. Her icey blue eyes looking into his rich brown ones and the next thing she knew she felt warm liquid sliding down her cheek. She put her hand to her face as if she didn't believe that she was. But then hugged him again. She didn't want him to see her cry it made her feel vulnerable and weak and she hated feeling that way.

She knew she shouldn't feel that way around him. She trusted him more the anyone but this was something that was extremely hard for her to do. Probably hard then training Loco. Her stumach felt tight and her heart was beating a million miles per second. There was a lump in her throat and she was pretty sure that if she tried to talk nothing would come out. The tears kept streaming down her face and she gulped down hard in an atempt to get rid of the lump. She took a deep staggard breath and then gave up. She was glad he said something because she wans't able. But what he said only made her want to talk more. She hated this and now felt even more frusterated that she let herself cry because now not only was she embarrased but she was mute. She took another deep breath and finally felt stable enough to talk. "Thank you so much, You have no idea how much that means to me." She rested her head one his shoulder and gripped his shirt in her hands.

Life with out Anthony would be a nightmare for her. She couldn't even begin to think what she would do. Most likely commit suicide or become an old lady with a bunch of cats. She loved him so much. And the best part ws he loved her so much more then she ever could have imagined. She hugged him and the tears kept flowing and she was pretty sure that she wouldn't be able to stop now that she started. it was if her tears were trying to make up for the several years she had gone with out letting them go. She took another staggered breath and felt much better but worse at the same time. She felt weak and embarrassed and just horrible but at the same time nothing could make her happier then being held by the man she loved.