Lost sight, not heart

[Alex Lovasz]

He held her close and she barely noticed her mind was flooded with thoughts she truly wished would disapear. She didn't want to be reminded of her past failures and all the crap that went down. Her breathing got heavier. She hated feeling like this he had no idea it really pissed her off. She never really got mad in front of him or anyone else for that matter she was always very good at keeping her cool but this was one thing that really got to her. Failing was something she struggled with her whole life and to have it shoved in her face yet again angered her. She let go of her tension and melted into his his comforting arms. If she was aloud to choose the way she died she would choose to die in his arms. It was relaxing but she wouldn't know she was to focused on her failures and how many times she'd screwed up. This was just another thing for her to beat herself up.

She let go a deep breath when he kissed her forehead and hot tears burned her cheeks. She didn't whimper or cry tears just stained her face and they fell silently with out expression. She was so frustrated with how this was going every step in the right direction they made they seemed to leap again to the side. Anthony's kiss was just what she needed. She knew he loved her and would always be there for her even when everything else seemed to come crashing down. She would always have him and he would always have her. She had no plans of letting him getting away or leaving him. He was stuck with her whether he liked it or not. She loved him more then anything if she had to she would give up racing for him But of course she was lucky enough that he was just as obssessed with racing as she now was.

It felt nice to just sit down and take a breather. She hadn't sat down in well relaxed while sitting probably never even now she wasn't completely relaxed but it was more relaxed then she had been in a long time. Tears continued to burn her cheeks but she didn't let it be shown on her face. Over the years she had mastered the art of covering up your feelings. She learned to burry them deep down making them invisible. So even though there was tears on cheeks her eyes and facial expression didn't read to that at all. He told her it was ok. But she already knew that she had delt with this before and knew how to handle it. Moving on and getting over it was her policy and she stuck to it. She would get up and with in the next hour or less she would have totally forgotten about it and gotten over it. She had a bad habit of burrying reality down where she couldn't see it.

The tears stopped flowing to her appreciation and Anthony stood up and helped her up. He put his arm around her to help support her. She looked over to Loco. Her heart went out to the confused soul. He was lost. She watched him closely even was Anthony ushered her toward the outdide rail. Loco watched as Anthony slipped his arm around her and moved her away. Sure it was bad enough that he was holding her on the ground but now he was taking her away from him. That was the last straw. He pinned his ears back and stamped his right for leg. His whole body tensed and her lunged forward. Anthony was at the bottom of Loco's list even below flies. He was lower then dirt. And Loco saw him as a threat. He was another stallion trying to take his lead mare away from him. That was just plain dirty and against the rules. It only took a few strides for him to get there. But Alex had spotted him coming and with out second guessing her ability to stand up firm or that Loco would barrel right through her. She moved out from Anthony's grasp and stepped toward Loco.

They horse was a lunatic and was far enough away to get going at a farelly fast pace. She stood shoulders square and staring him dead on She didn't flinch or second guess her decision at all. Loco gallop straight for her but when he noticed it was her who stood before him he screeched to a stop. But not fast enough at his speed he couldn't slow down in time before hitting her. His head clashed with her stomach making her stumble backwards several steps. She gasped for air as the impacted nocked the wind out of her. Loco stopped for a moment and notced Alex had moved away he was a little confused still as to why she was acting so weird but quickly his mnd stuck to its animal ways and his eyes searched for Anthony he wasn't going to let him get away as easily. But before he managed to find him there was a firm grasp on his reigns. He looked down to see Alex standing there. She may have had the wind nocked out of her but she wasn't going to let him get away with it. Her blue eyes shot ice into his brown pools. Her hand firm and assured as it gripped him. He stood there shocked that she was able to rebound that fast. But being the horse submitted quickly to her.

She let out a staggered breath. She was tired a lot had just went down in a few moments. She stared at him sternly making sure he got it in his head that she wasn't joking. After a moment she pressed the reigns back forcing him to back up. He stepped back fully submitted to her. She stopped him and took a deep breath. She turned around and positioned herself on the correct side of him. Then walked over to the rail. She looked to where Anthony stood. "When your in good health i'll let you take him on." She would have handed him over right then and there because she couldn't always defend Anthony but he wasn't at his best and that could have ended in disaster he just got back to the point of riding and Loco could quickly distroy that if given the chance. She didn't want that to happen. So she walked him to the gate and lead him through it.

[Charlie Parker]

[Will reply tomorrow...I just got back from camping and all that good stuff and I'm trying to catch up on all my posts that I am WAY behind on.]

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony sighed, knowing Alex was right but wishing that she wasn't. He absolutely hated not being able to do everything that he used to be able to whenever he wanted to. If he and Alex were ever going to be able to ride with each other, he was going to have to show Loco that he was a human just like Alex and the horse had to respect him. But Alex was right, and there was nothing he could do to change that...for now anyway. Anthony walked over to join her...on the opposite side as Loco. For a while he was going to have to stand aside and let Alex handle the crazy horse, as much as he wanted to do it himself.

It didn't take them long to get back down to the stables, and get the feeding done. From there, Anthony headed home to get himself cleaned up and looking decent, considering he was still coated in sweat and a complete mess. His dog was all too happy to see him and practically leaped into his arms when he came through the door. Anthony had been out all day, and the dog was always quite happy to see him when he was gone that long. He got the dog calmed down, and headed upstairs to get ready for their...date.

There was no way Anthony would be caught dead in a suit unless he was either at a wedding or doing some sort of big to do thing in the jockey club. He also wasn't much one for the whole slacks and pressed shirt...it was just too formal, and anyone who knew Anthony would know that he wasn't a formal person. Besides...they were going to the diner...what kind of moron would he look like if hs showed up there all dressed up? It was perfectly normal for girls to get all cute and dressy anywhere they went, but for guys...it was just odd. So jeans and a blue shirt were what he donned.

When he was dressed and ready to go, he fed the dog, and headed out. He was picking up Alex at her house, which wasn't too terribly far away...although he'd only been there once or twice. They spent most of their time at the stable. He pulled the pickup into the driveway, and stepped out. Alex was probably already waiting at the door for him. She didn't seem like the kind of girl to take hours to get ready for something like this. He walked up to the door, half expecting her to come out before he even reached it. He was trying to anticipate how she'd look...beautiful of course...but he figured he'd still be practically knocked flat when he saw her...it was like that most days when he saw her.

[Alex Lovasz]

Ok so this wasn't exactly how she planned this day to go but the begining was great the middle sucked but she knew the end would be perfect. She felt bad that she had to tell Anthony no. But she wanted him to be able to ride and if he tried to show Loco who was boss right after getting his cast taken off chances were they would end up right back at the hospital. Loco was a nuttso horse and she knew for now she was the only one who could come with in 5 ft of him. Sure if she was there he would let Anthony stand on the other side of her but other then that he didn't put up with hi. And Anthony was... well when he got all his muscle back into shape he could take on the monster. It was like the story of King Kong.... except Loco wasn't a gorilla... he was a monster horse. But other then that and the island it was basically the same story. But this one wouldn't end with the dieing of the beast.

The made it back to the barn iwthout hastle.. minus the extreme pain she was in.. but she didn't lead on. No use in complaining about pain that couldn't be helped. She would just get home take a few pain killers and would be set to go. She untacked loco groomed him and fed him. Then said bye to Anthony and got in her car and drove off. She checked her missed calls on her way and found only 10 she didn't feel like calling any of them back. So she just enjoyed the rest of the peaceful drive home. She parked in the drive put her phone back and stepped out fumbling for her keys. She unlocked the door and stepped in, greeted by her loving dogs. She moved into the kitchen and set her keys purse and phone on the counter. Fed the dogs then grabbed a glass of water and a bottle of perscription pills. She swalled two set the glass down and undressed as she went up the stairs to the shower.

A nice hot shower made everything better. The bathroom was steamy when she got out and wrapped herself in a towel. She walked to the closet and stared dumbfounded for a few moments. She wasn't the dressy type there for she owned one dress that she wore... like three years ago. It was gorgeous but not her style. She stared and stared then finally decided on what she thought was the perfect outfit for the diner. A pair of destroyed jean shorts. Designed by... someone. She had a lot of designer clothes... thats what happened when you lived in New York. And black tank top with a plaid short jacket over it from charlotte russe. Over all it was a cute outfit and she dressed it down by leaving her hair down and wearing some flat tennis shoes from target. They were black and white and had some design on them with guitars and such. She didn't look anything like she normally did but this was an outfit she liked. The jacket was a black and white with a dark blue plaid not anything bright or over done. It was her casual. Now if they would have been going to some place in New York she might have dressed differently but she didn't like the whole fancy bit unless she was going to work.

She did her hair quickly after getting dressed and went down the stairs. The dogs were finished and she let them out to go potty. She cleaned up the clothes that were strung everywhere and then let them back in. She went up stairs and checked herself out one last time. She wasn't one to obsess over how she looked but she liked to make sure she looked okay. It didn't take her long to get ready. She wasn't one for makeup so that took about an hour out of what a normal girl would take to get ready. So about 30 minutes was all it took minus the house cleaning. She went into the kitchen grabbed her purse and then went back up stairs to switch it to one she liked better. It was an oakley purse she got from some friend. It was expensive and she rarely used it but it matched this outfit and she thought she'd girve it a try. By the time she finished she heard a nock on the door. A huge smile spread over her face and she stepped down the stairs.

She opened the door and looked Anthony over unnoticabley. He looked great she smiled. "Hey" The dogs all barked and sat infront of the door as if inspecting the new guy. She was more excited then she thought. She had been with Anthony for a few weeks and they never really went out. Mainly it was at her house or his. But the majority of the time was at the stable. They both practically lived there. She didn't think tonight would be anything different but she was happy to get to spend the evening with him instead of working. It would be a nice change of pace. For once on her life there was something that came before horses and work. She was head over heals for him and practically melted anytime she was with him. Match made in heaven i think so.

[Anthony Lovasz]

A grin lit up Anthony's face when Alex came to the door and opened it. She looked absolutely stunning. She always looked stunning in Anthony's opinion, if she was dressed up and clean and all that good stuff, or if she was muddy and dirty and in her riding clothes, she was just beautiful, and he wasn't going to deny it. You are one good looking woman. He said after a moment or two as he stepped up to her and put his arms around her. Typical Anthony greeting, it was always something that wasn't exactly normal. He always came up with something to say that he really meant instead of just saying "hello" back and then having the awkward silence where no one knew what to say.

He kissed her gently, then stepped back away from her. Shall we? He asked, offering her his arm. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the neighbor across the street was watching them from his front porch. He was an older man who looked like he'd spent the past ten years in retirement just sitting on the swing on that porch, watching out for whoever lived across from him. Anthony just smiled and waved at the guy as he and Alex walked over to the truck. He pulled the door open for Alex, and waited for her to get in. Hardly a moment after doing so, he heard the old man pipe up. You sure know how to pick 'em Alex! He called over good naturedly, You treat that girl right young man!

Anthony just laughed, You don't have to worry about that. He replied, moving over to the driver's side of the vehicle and getting in. Anthony was pretty sure that with that guy living across the street he never had to worry about Alex getting hurt. He probably had some gun locked up in his closet that he'd pull out at the first sign of trouble. That was one of the biggest reasons Anthony loved older people...they were always very protective of the young people they knew, and he appreciated that. Although her neighbor would probably have a heart attack if he knew that Anthony was letting Alex ride that crazy horse of hers.

Ah, he was in a very good mood today, despite the incredible pain he was in. Considering that pain killers or any sort of drug were not an option for him, he just had to deal with it all. He had to admit, he was envious of Alex in that way. She could get hurt and have the "miracle" of popping a pill and making it subside a bit while he had to just keep on going and continue making it worse by doing so. Oh well, at least he'd gotten the cast off...it had been driving him insane. Being as active as he was for as long as he was, he always had to keep himself busy which he could do easily when he had horses to ride. But when he couldn't ride...well that about killed him because there's only so much busy work around the house that he could do, and after two weeks...he had run out of anything to keep him entertained.

[Alex Lovasz]

Alex blushed shyly when he compliment her. She turned her head away and her hair fell slightly in her face. But when she turned back he wrapped his arms around her. She put her arms around his neck. Sure it wasn't the usual awkward greeting of a first date. But her and Anthony were way past awkward... and way past the stages of a first date. When most people had their first date her and Anthony were in the hospital. Yeah not exactly how relationships started but that what made them special.. no? She looked up into his eyes. "You ain't half bad yourself." She smiled. It was amazing how much alike they were and how well them matched each other. The were perfect in her book. Though they were totally different in some ways they both had a lot in commen as well.

She laughed a little but before anymore words left her mouth he kissed her. Then leaving her hanging he stepped back. "Yes i believe we should. She reached in the door and snatched up her purse from the entry way table. Then took his arm as he offered it.. After shutting and locking the door of course. She walked with him to the truck and noticed her neighbor Cal. He was the nicest guy she smiled and waved. as Anthony opened the door. "thanks Cal." She got in and The Anthony went around the other side. She heard Anthony reply. She had no worry about him taking care of her. She knnew very well that he would... course the nut that she still insisted on riding her crazy phsycotic horse. But that was another matter all in itself.

She couldn't help but smile the whole time. Being with Anthony just made her... Of course it could have been the pain killers she just took. At the though of that she looked quickly over to Anthony wondering how he was doing with the withdrawls and pain of being so active on an uncompletely healed leg. She often worried about him. "How are you? She tried to hide the worry that was behind the question but she was pretty sure she didn't do to well of a job. His truck was nice she loved trucks. But couldn't affored to drive one so she had one that was parked in the garage and she used the porsche to get herself places. But he looked good in a truck. it was surprisingly cleaner then what she expected.. Now she didn't expect him to be a slob but she knew how guys were.

The interior smelt of nice leather something only a car person or some nut could appreciate. She took a deep breath and slowely released it. The truck was a nice model not quite what she would pick but it was very nice. She was still worried but knew that no matter how much she worried it wouldn't help any. She placed her hand on the middle seat as they moved down the road. To the diner they went. Not exactly 5 stars but it was perfect for them. Little coutry racers in a little town. Besides it was quiet and they hadn't had a night alone since...ever pretty much. This would definately be a night she wouldn't forget. Being Anthony well it was just something she couldn't describe she loved him it was that simple.

[Tyler Haze]

Anthony couldn't help but laugh a little as he got into the truck, Cal...as his name was apparently...reminded him a lot of his own grandparents, incredibly protective of everyone. He hadn't ever really known them very well considering he spent the first 15 years of his life in Mexico, and even now rarely got out to New York to see them. Last time he'd seen them was a day or so after the Santa Anita when he'd been railed and seriously injured, but refused any doctor's help. As much as he loved them though, he hadn't been able to tell them about the drug problem which was keeping him from taking any help. He felt bad about not telling them, but he just couldn't do it. They accepted his decision though, without an explanation, and took him under their wing for about a week before he convinced them that he was fine and they could go home. He really needed to get out there one of these days.

He pulled out of the driveway and headed out towards town, turning on cruise control once he got up to the speed limit...just in case he got "distracted" so he wouldn't end up speeding and getting pulled over. Alex had changed his life around, a lot, since he'd met her. It used to be all racing all the time, with nothing in between. When he wasn't out riding, he was doing something else with the horse or planning workouts or feeding schedules or anything that involved horses in any way. Now though it was, ride in the morning, find what time he could with Alex, walk/lounge in the afternoon, find what time he could with Alex, ride in the evening, and...yup, you guessed it, find what time he could with Alex. Sure he still had all the paperwork to do and whatnot, but he always did that at night when there was nothing else on his mind.

He heard her ask if he was okay, and sighed slightly. He'd been hoping she wouldn't ask. He'd intentionally forced himself to not limp when he'd walked up to the door and then walked her back to the car. He knew full well that he was pushing the limit. He hadn't even had that cast off an hour before he was out riding on the track, and he was paying for it now. He let his right hand drop down to grasp hers on the seat, keeping his focus on the road though. He wasn't going to get them in a car accident. I'm surviving. He replied honestly. He couldn't lie to her, and even if he did, she would know that he was. He was avoiding blatantly saying that the pain was killing him, so he just said he was surviving. She probably knew what he meant though. But again, it was that pride thing. It was hard enough for him to tell her about the drug dependency, and openly admitting pain on top of that...there was no way unless she asked him directly how much pain he was in, that he would do that.

It took no more than 15 minutes to get to the diner. He pulled the truck to a stop, and got out, walking around to Alex's side, and waiting for her. He was again forcing himself not to limp, and he was incredibly good at it. He had a strong will, and when he was determined to do something well, he did it well. Tonight wasn't about him, and he didn't want the focus on him...tonight was about them, and how much they were in love, that was all that mattered. He could live through pain and withdrawals 100 times worse than this as long as Alex was there to help him through it, just like she was now.

[Alex Lovasz]

She smiled when he laughed. Cal was like a grandpa to her. Always watching out for her ever since she moved in. She always did as much as she could for him. It was hard enough between the horse work outs and such. But now she spent as much of her time as she could with Anthony. But at night when she wasn't engulfed in work so tried to make him a meal or something special. He remined her of her grandfather. He wasn't that sweet and caring till hi later years But she enjoyed her time with him. He passed a few months ago though. She tried not to think of that though. Then she was swallowed by thoughts of home. New York. Her home state. She loved that place. It was where she grew up she knew the whole place front to back. Especially the belmot area she was practically raised on that track. But she also had a house in kentucky and florida. But the usually stayed in New York and if certain horses needed the different climate a group would go while the family stayed home or what not.

Once on the road he adjusted to the speed limit. No one else was on the road so he didn't have to worry about traffic. She loved being with him it was just perfect. She tried to be the majority of her time... But the majority of her time went into Loco. And that weekend she was heading up state to check out that colt. And Alessandra was moving in with her. It was a lot to take in. It reminded her of the hspital...she didn't like that memory. So she pushed it away and thought about how great their lives were getting. Him and King were moving up. Loco... well loco was still loco. But her best friend was coming to live with her. And she might be getting another colt. Course that meant less time to spend with Anthony. She didn't like the thought of that. Infact it hit her. With all this commotion of big news she just noticed... All this meant less time they would have with one another. Nope she didn't like that at all.

She could tell by his sigh that he wasn't okay. She let her brow line furrow as she looked over at him. She hated not being able to take his pain away. He grasped her hand in his and told her he was surviving. She let a worried look take over. She knew he was trying with all he could to not show his pain. And to anyone else they wouldn't know. but she knew better. She saw it. But she knew he wouldn't tell her even if he was in extreme pain though she knew he was. She gripped his hand lightly and sighed. "If you need anything let me know ok? We both know you're in pain and it can't be easy. But i'll be here" She hated not being able to do anything. Alex wasn't one to sit back and watch and being forced into that postition wasn't good at all. She wanted to just take all his pain and put it on herself. But despite what she wanted she just had to sit back and support him as best she could. Which wasn't exactly her style but she wouldn't leave him. Nope not at all.

They got to the Diner and he got out. She waited a few minutes and took a deep breath. She didn't want him to think she was worrying the whole time. This was going to be enjoyable and she wouldn't ruin it. She put a smile on and jumped out of the truck, causing pain to shoot up her legs. But she shook it off. She had a high otlerance for pain and this was nothing... especially compared to what Anthony was going through. She matched his pace as they walked up to the diner. It was a quant litte place. Perfect fo spending a quiet evening out. She saw how well he hide his pain and it made her proud some what. He had had practice she could tell but she didn't focus on that. The entered the diner she glanced around and noticed a nice booth out yander. She looked over at the waitress then Anthony. She didn't care where they sat it made no difference to her at all. All she knew was that she was starved. She wasn't one who was afraid of eating infront of anyone either so she would look like a big... well not really but she could eat quite a bit. This evening was by far the best she had and it had only just started.

[Charlie Parker]

Anthony absolutely hated his weakness being known to the world, and he didn't like that Alex knew too...but if he hadn't told her, they would've put that morphine drip back in him when he was unconscious and it would have slowly but surely killed him. Alex saved his life every day in more than one way, and he knew that without her, he probably wouldn't be here. It was the thought of her, and someday a lifetime together, that kept him from giving up and letting the drugs win. It was her that kept him moving through the pain that was threatening to cripple him. It was her that held his hand through the worst of the withdrawals. It was Alex, and Alex alone that kept him alive.

He smiled when she told him to let her know if he needed anything. He was quite stubborn when it came to doing things himself, and that included in taking care of himself...even though he was pretty bad at it. He wasn't bad at it in the sense of letting things fall apart, but just look at him...three weeks after a broken leg he gets the cast of and instantly starts riding on the incompletely healed leg. Most people wouldn't consider that taking very good care of himself, considering the risk of rebreaking it was pretty high, but he didn't care, he couldn't have stood waiting around longer and doing physical therapy. After all, riding was a good way to get stronger...right?

However, if things got bad, to the point that he couldn't handle it, he knew Alex was there for him and that she would see him through it. She probably knew better than he did what was best for him. If things ever did get that bad, and it was entirely possible, he would force himself to submit entirely to her...let her have control in a sense. Even if she condemned him to bed rest for a week, he'd do it. He'd been injured pretty bad once before, and he'd had Tristanne then to take care of him. Now he had Alex, and he knew that she would do the same, and more. I've already got everything I need. He said, glancing over towards her. Alex really was all he would ever need...she completed him.

When they walked into the diner, Anthony's hand dropped down to hers, and he took her hand, entwining their fingers together. The waitress came over and seated them at a booth, handing both of them laminated menus, then scurried off to go help the next customer in line. It was kind of quiet in here tonight, which was all the better...as long as the staff didn't think it would be fun to watch the couple...which would be awkward. Anthony was quite certain...actually 100% certain that Alex was going to be the one he would marry, but he wasn't going to ask her just yet. He wanted to give it time, and not rush into things. Besides, Charlie and Hayley, and Chey and Sebastian were all getting married this year, so he figured he would let this be their time, and he would ask Alex later.

[Vivian Kings]

Alex new how hard it was for him to admit his weaknesses. She of all people would know. She hated feeling weak. So she tried not to make to much of a big deal but she couldn't help worrying it was in her nature to do so. She looked away trying not to focus on that but it stuck she began thinking of how she was the same way... She had a lot of male qualities. But the one feminine one that she got was worry. She never worried about herself or her actions she acted... but usually her thought was right. Weakness was a word she learned to take out of her vocabulary. With he military family there was no such thing as weakness or emotions. It was hard at first but in the end she came out fine right? Sure scared for life.. she hated expressing her feelings and any weakness she had she covered up. She rarely talked about these either because she was taught not to complain or whine. This was just how life was. And if you didn't act tough and strong you were punished. You had to live up to the family name right?

That was one thing she and Alessandra had in mind. Keke's dad was a strong military leader and being neighbors their dads had... their debates but were best friends. Which inturn made Alex and Keke best friends. The learned to ride together. Both families racing families. Keke loved racing. They would both exercise ride and make them into small match races. But Keke went to dressage classes as well. She had the form and was to tall to race anyway. But Alex turned into a race rat. She loved the track. She was born on one. They grew up riding. And Keke understood the meaning of no emotions and how Alex was raised. her dad having all girls was a little more acustomed to it though. But Alex was the only girl in her family. Her dad was strict and her mother... well she was supportive of how the family was raised. So Alex grew up strong. Living in New York didn't help.

She was excited to have Alessandra come live with her. They were best friends now and forever even though it had been several years since they had seen each other. Her phone beeped and that meant she had a message but she ignored it. She wanted this night o be just Anthony and Her. Nothing else. Just the two of them. He said he had everything he needed and he entangled his fingers in hers. "Is that so?" She said in a teasing way as she walked to his side. She blushed slightly and held his hand. She loved how cute he was. Not in a little baby or kiddy type feminine way. It was sweet and attractive. A turn on in her book for sure. Yes they were quite cute. How could they not be. They were in love. twitter patted. Head over heals. entangled in one another. And all those other cute little naems for love.

The were seated at a booth and she slide in. The waitress seemed nice enough. There was only a couple other people here. She liked that it wasn't crowded it made it quieter. Course that would mean the staff would be bored but she didn't care about them. She didn't mind at all. They couldn't ruin her evening not as long as she was with Anthony. She flipped open the menu. She flashed through it quickly. Everything and Anything sounded good. But she suddenly remembed... she was on a strict diet.... humph. Well cheating this one time wouldn't be horrible would it? She wasn't cautious about her weight but she was trying to stay in good condition while working with Loco. She needed to be on her best game with him.She looked guiltily at the menu. Then closed it. A milk shake sounded so good. and a big fatty hambuger yum. But no... she shouldn't. She didn't want to seem like one of those girls who worried about being fat and what not. She wasn't at all... infact she was one of the guys who ate. But she did need to stay fit and kee the right weight if she was going to become a jockey again.

At that she remembered why she quiet but tried to forget about that. Tonight was supposed to be fun and easy. She looked up at Anthony and smiled. Boy was she lucky or what. She had a great guy who loved raing as much as she did if not more. And he loved her for who she was. And on top of this. He was extremely hot. More then hot really but she didn't want to go there. There could be young innoscent ears around, after all. "What sounds good to you?" She decided that one slip up was acceptable. She didn't want to be self conscious... she would just work out later that night or... in the morning before her wrok with Loco... which would basically be later that night with as early as she got up to work Loco..... Which reminded her she had to get up early work Loco after she watched the meeting with Anthony... or maybe she would work Loco first then watch then go home take a shower and hope in the care for her 6 hour road trip.

It was amazing the things she did to find a great racing prospect. She heard he had great confirmation and great bloodlines.. plus looks to kill. From the pictures and video that was all true. He seemed like a head distance runner. Which for your information meant he liked to take the lead and blow them away. Yeah she could tell just by looking. Sure he was still just a weanling. But when hegot older he would burn up the track. It would be a nice little addition to the team. Thats one big tema if you asked her. Her, Loco, King, Anthony, Alessandra her horse, and whomever Anthony got, and then this foal. It was just one big growing happy family. That was the idea. Famiy... she to be honest never wanted kids. Horses were her kids and she had a handful with just this one. Course marrage was always an option. And she honestly could see herself marrying Anthony. But that wasn't part of the plan... not now anyway. Maybe in the future. Right now she needed to get on her feet with racing again. Then she would be ready. She liked that she could support herself and now that she knew she could being in a relationship was an option. She wouldn't be surprised if they got engaged by the ned of the year. I mean look at how fast they already were moving. They weren't exactly into taking it slow.

But that was how she liked it she liked fast. She did everything fast. She graduated high school fast... and collage. And she got a jockeys liscence fast she raced fast.. stopped racing fast. Got a job fast made it to the top of the company fast. And got back into racing just as fast as she got out. Life in general for her was fast. It seemed like just the other day her and Anthony just met and now they were dating... oh wait it was just the other day. She couldn't be happier though. Her horse was finally shaping up.. well sort of. She was With Anthony. Her best friend was going to lilve with her. And she was hopefully going to purchase a perfect colt. Life was good. Nothing could bring her down. Not now... Nothing ever could so long as she was with Anthony. Yup she was convinced they were meant to be.

[Charlie Parker]

Anthony smiled as he took the seat across from Alex, he was ignoring what he could of the pain, and refusing to show what he felt of the pain. We've been through this before Alex. He said in response to her question, I wouldn't lie to you. Yeah it was one of those silly things that people said when they were in love with someone, but for Anthony it was much, much more than that. Alex really was all he needed. They'd already proved that. She'd gotten him through the worst of the withdrawals where he was nothing short of seizing and in greater pain than most could handle, more pain than even he could handle, she'd gotten him through having to have that stupid cast, she'd stopped them from replacing the morphine drip, she'd fixed the rail that he and King went through, and turned the demon horse into a teddy bear. There wasn't any way in which she hadn't saved his life already. She was his angel.

He smiled slightly and nodded when the waitress handed him his menu, he could tell she was rolling her eyes at them. But he didn't care, heck, she was probably just like them at some point in her life when she first fell in love...unless of course she was an old maid...if that were the case then she wouldn't know what it was like at all. Of course, things were different for these two than most people. They hadn't even known each other for a single day when Anthony unintentionally admitted how he felt for her in the words "I'll be alright...as long as you're here with me." Which, as it turned out, couldn't have been more true. Then a few minutes later, just before he drifted back into the unconscious sleep of someone who'd been in an accident like his, he'd mumbled the words "I love you." and heard them repeated from her. All within a single day. It was amazing how fast it went for them, but that was just the way life was for him, fast.

He could have said something sort of like the "I already have everything I need" he'd pulled earlier, but decided against it when she asked what sounded good to him. He too had to watch his weight, he was at the maximum height most trainers were willing to put on their horses, and some of them were iffy about it. They liked their jockeys to be in the 5-5'2 range, and Anthony was in the 5'4" range which didn't always go over too well with them. So he had to keep his weight at the lowest healthy weight for his height which wasn't always easy considering he was a guy and guys were usually about at the average healthy weight for their height.

He had to watch it even more now that he was getting back into real racing...and would be riding a horse that was barely 15 hands. He had gotten pretty good at it over the years though, so he wasn't too worried. Besides, riding two horses everyday would be sure to keep him in top condition. He had never been one to worry much about anything, this included. Especially not tonight. He wasn't going to worry about anything tonight. He had Alex, and like he said, she was all he needed...so if he had all he needed, why worry?

He'd pretty much decided on what he would be ordering as soon as he'd been handed the menu. Just the regular ol' burger...yeah, he was kind of boring. But he had reason to be boring. He wanted to spend his time and energy on Alex, not thinking about what he was going to order. He was a guy, and his reasoning was simple and logical...what else did you expect? Besides, the food wasn't as important as who he was spending time with. Heck, it could be gruel, and he'd still enjoy the night. Any time he spent with Alex was good time.

He set the menu aside on the corner of the table to get it out of his way before responding to the question. I'm just going to go with a burger. He said, looking across the table at his girl, What about you? And don't you dare tell me that you're worried about getting fat. He added the last part jokingly. She was plenty skinny, and one night out eating whatever she wanted wasn't going to make her gain ten pounds.

It was impossible for him to not enjoy his time spent with Alex. She was so pretty, and incredibly lovable...for him. If any other guy ever hit on her or whatever...he'd hold a grudge against them until the day he died. Alex was his, and anybody who even tried to steal her from him would get it. He might be pretty stinkin short for a guy, but he could hold his own and then some when he needed to.

[Alex Lovasz]

Alex couldn't help but always smile when she was around Anthony. She looked up in a thinking matter as he asked her. She smiled and giggled a little bit. "You haven't so far." Sure she was just playing but she knew he wouldn't... unless it was for her own good maybe and even then he probably still wouldn't. The waitress walked away after hadning them their menu's Alex ignored her though. Her main focus right now was Anthony. She was there to spend time with him and be with him. He said he had everything he needed.. In a sense that was true for her. She had a great guy. That was pretty much all a girl ever asks for. But alex was lucky enough to have Loco... if you call that luck. And Her best friend was coming to live with her. She had a great job and is successful. I mean what else could you want.

Anthony completed her. He made her feel warm inside. That fuzzy lovey dovey feeling. She liked that. She set the menu down infront of her and put her hands on the table. She looked down at them. A relationship was like holding hands. You either did it because... it was there and just casually grabbed the others hand. Or he held it tight... or like with Anthony and her.. you interlocked fingers. That was true love right there. They just meshed well. She looked up coming out of her thoughts. She sighed... a sigh of relief... of peace... though it could have come off wrong. She crossed her legs under the table it was a habit she had aquired... lady like yes but thats not why she did so.

She started to wonder. Sure she knew a few of his huge secrets... But really other then he had king and loved racing just as much as she did.. She didn't know him hardly at all. And she already told him she loved him.. which was true... She did but really they didn't know one another at all. Well that night would be the end of that. She wanted to know everything.. well everything that he would tell her. She loved being with him. And even though she hardly knew him what she did know she loved. He was perfect. Beside his past didn't matter. The way he acted did and he acted just as sweet and loving as could be when he was around her. but what she loved most was she could joke with him and he wouldn't get all hurt. She had a very rough sens of humor. And could call you a moron but mean it in a teasing way.

She was convinced that she was going to stay with him forever. Partly because she loved him and needed him. and partly because he needed her. I mean look at him. He was a mess. The doctors his leg and king good lord man it was like he was asking to die. But she would keep him alive... He was more then the love of her life. He was her best friend. The one she told everything. He was the only she cried infront of... in years. He had seen her in the good and the bad and the ugly times. And she hadn't scared him off yet. So she was pretty sure he'd stick around. And even though she knew he would beat the crap out of any guy that hit on her... she found the picture rather funny. But she liked that he was protective. Like an older brother. It wsa cute. Course she was fully capable of taking care of herself. She still needed him. More then anything in the world.... she needed him.

He placed his menu on the corner of the table and said he wanted a plan burger... plan... but oh soo soo soooo good. She bit her bottom lip when he asked her what she wanted and she stared down at the table. But then he looked at her and told her not to tell him she was worried about getting fat. She looked up him and smiled and laughed a little. "No!.... well sort of... but not for the reason you think... You and i both know i have to keep to a certain weight. And for you information i am gunna get a hamburger too! but mine is gunna have bbg sauce on it. So there!" Sure she was just playing. but part of her was serious. It was true she had to watch her weight but she was no prissy weight watching freak that didn't want to look fat in a certain pair of jeans. She just wanted to be able to clear the scale before a race.

She playfully kicked his leg under the table when she finished. Making sure to hit the un broken leg. She didn't hit it hard but enought so that he would know. She giggled and leaned back into her side of the booth. She might as well get comfortable. Even though she had to get up early she wasn't planning on going home anytime before he did. She knew that when she got home she would have to make phone calls and email paper work and a bunch of other work that she had been putting off... So theat meant pretty much an all nighter. Which was fine with her. So long as she got the most important thing... Time with Anthony. That was all she cared about right now. Being with him was all that matter... not loco... not racing... not Keke... not work... nothing but her and Anthony... in the rather empty Diner.

[Anthony Lovasz]

No, Anthony would never lie to Alex. People always say that they wouldn't lie unless it was for the other person's own good, but Anthony didn't believe in that. The truth was of utmost importance and it was never good for anyone to be lied to. Besides, if the person ever found out the truth, then they would probably end up hating whoever lied to them, and Anthony wasn't about to risk Alex hating him. That would kill him, faster than if she died. If she was killed, he would very slowly die without her, but if she was alive and hating him...he couldn't handle that at all, and would probably just fall over dead.

He laughed at her response to him telling her not to tell him she was worried about getting fat. Yes, he understood that perfectly, but still, one meal wasn't going to make her gain weight. He supposed that female jockeys were probably more conscious about their weight than male jockeys just because of the way their brains were functioned. Girls always worried about weight more than guys did, and he supposed they had their reasons, what they were he had no idea, but he knew they had their reasons. It didn't really matter to him though, he was completely in love with Alex and he didn't care what she looked like, as long as she was his and no one else's he was completely happy.

The waitress returned to their table and took their orders then disappeared to give them to the cooks. As the night progressed, Anthony couldn't help but watch everything Alex did. She was so perfect. As corny as it may sound, she was like and angel in his eyes...nothing she did wasn't perfect, nothing about her wasn't perfect...she was just perfect, and no human could ever be perfect. By the time they had finished, at her urging, he had told her basically everything about himself that he could remember. There wasn't a single piece of his life that she didn't now know, and that was the way it was supposed to be.

He was born in Mexico with dual citizenship to the U.S and Mexico due to the fact that his parents were U.S citizens who were in Mexico as catholic missionaries. After a few years, they both got into drugs, and then she got pregnant with him...thus the genetic drug dependency that had cursed him his whole life. He was one of those kids who wasn't wanted, and his life wasn't exactly the best. So he looked for a better life at the tracks, and found it. He started as an exercise rider, but after a while, considering his height, he was made into a full jockey. His first race...since he had no training in real racing, he got himself caught in a box and somebody knocked him off the horse...that was when he broke his shoulder, had it "fixed" and lost his trust in doctors since they screwed things up worse. He got back into riding and worked his way to the top in Mexico. When he was 16 and American trainer saw him ride and took note of the fact that he never once used the crop but still brought his horse in well ahead of the rest of them.

He continued following him around for a while and decided that he wanted to ask this young jockey to come up to the States and ride his horses for him. Anthony agreed, and headed up there. Of course, at 16 he was too young to get his license so he again rode as an exercise rider. As soon as he was 18, he took the test, and passed with flying colors, and before long was racing full time as a jockey. Of course, he had a long ways to go, considering that racing in the U.S and racing in Mexico were two entirely different things, but by the time he was 19, he was on the fast track to the top...at least until he turned 20 and got railed after winning the Santa Anita, promptly halting his career as a jockey. There wasn't much else to tell that she didn't already know...considering it was very shortly after that when she met him in the stable, bruised and bleeding from King, and then bleeding more from Loco. That was his life story in a rather large nut shell.

When dinner had ended, the two of them headed out to the truck, Anthony holding her hand in his. He was desperately trying to hide the fact that since they had gotten there the pain had pretty much doubled, and he was hoping Alex hadn't noticed. Walking though, even just out to the truck, was incredibly difficult, and he was finding it increasingly harder to hide his limp. By the time they reached the vehicle though, he had to stop. He just couldn't handle it and needed a moment to get himself collected again. One problem with the pain was that whenever it got really bad, he would start having withdrawals again.

He let go of Alex's hand and put both hands on the hood of the car to take his weight off the injured leg, his breathing was heavy, every muscle in his body was strained against the pain, and he was even shaking a bit. He thanked God every moment of these times for Alex. Without her he wouldn't get through the pain and withdrawals. He hadn't had a seizure from withdrawals in a while, and he wasn't now...but it was definitely a pretty intense withdrawal. His body was screaming at him to take some sort of drug...anything really, it didn't matter what, and he was very glad he didn't have any drugs with him, because he would have taken them.

He closed his eyes against the pain, trying to get a hold of himself again. He couldn't let the drugs win, he just couldn't. For himself, and for Alex, he couldn't let them win. As much as it hurt he wasn't going to take anything. He was going to get through this, even if it killed him. He had never been one to give up, and he wasn't planning on changing that now. There were too many people and horses that relied on him being in his right mind for him to take drugs. He wasn't about to let all of them down...especially Alex.

[Alex Lovasz]

Dinner was perfect. Talking to Anthony about his life was great. She loved just sitting there listening intently and watching him. He eyes were like spot lights on him watching his every move and taking in every bit of information he let out. She really did want to know everything. And she got it. Every last little bit. From Birth up until now. And All that juice inbetween. She smiled as he spoke about riding. You could tell he loved it. Sure she knew already that he did but when he talked about it there was just that spark and sense of awe in his voice when he did so. His past was rough. I mean practically having to leave home... not being wanted. But she didn't say anything she figured he wanted to leave that in the past. He got to the part about the states and riding here. It must have been so hard to get yourself started and do it all on your own. She didn't know how that was... well she did when it came to her company but not with horses. She had her parents to thank for that.

The food came and they ate.. and talked... and ate and talked. It was the best date she had ever been on.. infact the only date in a few years that she had been on. Wow.. that was sad. But what did you expect. After the accident she burried herself in her work. And never had time for anything but a friends going to get dinner at 1 pm because they worked late. Or even buying take out and eating at the office pulling an all nighter at work. Course.. most of her co workers.. or the people who worked for her were guys.. plainly because girls couldn't hack it. Or at least other girls besides hers. You had to pretty much dedicate your whole life to it. And back then she could do that. So she got her own company and climbed to the top of the food chain. And once her position was secured she went back to racing. She so far was doing a pretty good job at both. It might get a little tighter with the new foal but she was pretty sure she could hack it.

She continued listening. With that child-like interest. And when he laughed she couldn't help but smile, his laugh was so cute. Just all around happy. She was so happy to have him in her life. She was blessed that was for sure. I mean she didn't think she would die if she hadn't met him.. plainly because she wouldn't know what she was missing. But boy would she be missing out. She felt bad for the poor gal who could have met him.. or the ones that let him go. She was lucky she snagged him up before anyone else could. If something ever happened. Like he fell out of love i with her and in with someone else. She would never forgive herself. She couldn't live with out him. She would never let some girl get close to him. He was taken. Not that she was being possessive.. or that she wouldn't let him go if he so chose. But she never wanted that to happen.

The finished up dinner and paid. And he held her hand as they walked out. But she knew it wasn't going good. She felt his tension. And noticed the limp. She knew he was trying to be the big strong guy but this was insane. He was putting himself through way to much to keep her from knowing he was in pain... and it wasn't working anyway. She was a girl.. they sensed these things. Plus he wasn't doing such a good job... Not that she expected him to. But he was just being stupid. She knew he knew he could trust her. And keeping the fact that he was in pain from her. It was all just pointless it would have been simpler to just tell her. She shook her head and looked up at him. Concern clearly written in her eyes. She wanted to take the pain away, but she knew she couldn't.. she hated the helpless feeling of not being able to help at all.

But unexpectedly he let og of her hand and put both of his on the hood of the truck. Her heart pretty much stopped. She didn't know what to do she wanted to do so many different things just then. She wanted to scream at him for not being honest about the pain. She wanted to hug him and tell him it was going to be ok. She wanted to take the pain away. She knew she could never do the first or last one... And she wasn't so sue about the middle... But she was going to help him. In anyway that she could. Her heart broke thinking about how much pain her had to be in. And the Withdrawls were probably getting worse. You have no idea how helpless she felt.

She stepped behind him and rubbed his arm gently. Then wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "Its going to be ok... We'll get you through this." Sure it wasn't going to be all peaches and roses. But they would make it.. They had to. She needed him. She couldn't live with out him. She sighed and closed her eyes. "I'll drive home kay. I'm not letting you drive home. So you'll just have to stay with me." There was no point in arguing with her. She wasn't going to let him drive hom with the possible chance... of another withdrawl or worse. He was in too much pain. She loved him more then anything... more then work more then family more then horses and even more then racing.. Sure after everything in her life that was nutts but she did. He was her everything. Her best friend.. Minus Alessandra but that was a different story.

She waited for a minute the let go. She was going to need the keys. And To help him. Sure he probably was uber mad that he was needing her help but as much as he tried to deny it... it wasn't working. He needed help and she was going to give it to him. Thats what she was there for. Good Bad and the Ugly remember. Thick and thin. A few weeks and she was twitterpatted... and never leaving his side. Ever. She looked around they were basically the only ones there. Minus the waitresses. It was late.. later then she thought. How time flies when you're with the one you love.. and having fun. You wouldn't believe in a million years that they had only just met. At first glance they could have been childhood sweet hearts turned into Love. But either way... it was just the same. In the end.. It was Love.

She helped him to the other side. Then walked around and hoped in. She started the car and pulled into the road. In a town as small as this.. there wasn't anyone out.. A car here and there but that was just about it. She looked over at him, Yeah.. well we all know what look she was giving him... She was a worried girlfriend what did you expect. All she wanted was to able to take his apin away and unlike with herself she couldn't take that away with pills or any other pain killers. She turned back to the road. And Drove toward home. Her house wasn't that far from the Diner. So they got there in no time. It was a bit cloudy out.. ok a lot.. especially for a summer night. And it was cold.... not as cold as a clear winter night but pretty cold. And She in shorts and a short sleeve jacket didn't mix well. So she was glad they were almost there.

She pulled into the drive and killed the engine. She slide out and walked around to his door.. Reverse rolles eh? She helped him out and up the steps to the door. She fumbled into her pocket for the keys. But just as she was about to stick it in the lock.... The door opened. Alex's eyebrow furrowed and her eyes widened as the figure in the dark became clear. She looked at the face. "Oh My Gosh!! She wasn't supposed to be their till the next day! Alex just stood stunned and then the person inside flicked the light on. "What Are You Doing Here!!! You're not supposed to land till Tomorrow night!!" She suddenly realised she still had her arm around Anthony, supporting him. But didn't move. She didn't want him hurting himself any more then he already was.

[Anthony Lovasz]

Anthony felt Alex's hand on his arm and then both her arms around his waist. Just her gentle touch made things slightly better. Knowing that she was there for him, even when he was too stubborn... too stupid to admit that he needed her help, meant more than the world to him. That was why he loved her so much. Even before she knew anything more than the fact that his name was Anthony Lovasz, he was a jockey, and he rode a blind horse named King's Last Stand she was right there with him. She stayed with him in the hospital, and stopped the doctors from reinserting the morphine drip in his arm when he was incapable of doing so, she held his hand through the withdrawals when she could do nothing more, she made everything in his life better than he ever imagined it could be.

When she insisted that she drive, he was about to protest, but when he looked at her, he knew there was no point in doing so. Besides, he probably couldn't drive right now in the condition he was in, and he didn't want to spend the night in the parking lot. After a moment or two, he sighed unsteadily, and pulled the keys out of his pocket, handing them to her begrudgingly. No he wasn't mad at her, he was mad at himself for being incapable of something so simple as driving and walking. He had a bit more of a pride issue than most people simply because of the fact that he felt he needed to make up for the things that he couldn't change. The genetic drug dependency was the worst...he felt he had to be stronger emotionally, physically, and mentally than normal because of that intrinsic flaw.

As much as he didn't want to admit that he needed help, he couldn't do this on his own. He submitted completely to her, and allowed her to help him to the passenger side of the car. Even with her supporting him it hurt like hell, but he did his best to ignore it. Alex... He said when she got in on the other side in the driver's seat, his voice was a bit strained considering the amount of pain he was fighting, ...thank you. I couldn't do this without you. It was hard for him to say that, to admit that he was incapable of doing something himself. His whole life he had been a firm believer in the idea that weakness was not an option, but it seemed that God was making him come to the realization that he did need help...and making him see it the hard way since he had refused to let go of that belief the easy way.

He turned his head to the side, looking out the window to the darkened scenes as they flashed by in a quick progression. This wasn't the way he had planned his life to go. He had planned on just riding, filling his every second of the day with improving his skill and his horse's skill. He hadn't planned on falling in love, he hadn't planned on telling her that he loved her before even 24 hours of knowing her, he hadn't planned on getting himself hurt again, he hadn't planned on finding out that he wasn't invincible and that even he needed help sometimes. He hadn't planned on any of this happening to him, but it had. Just one more way he was shown that he wasn't in control of his life.

It didn't take long to get to Alex's house, but already he was starting to feel a bit like he'd been out running for three days without stopping. Withdrawals and that kind of pain really took it out of him. He was beginning to wonder if maybe he should have listened to that doctor and kept the cast on longer...but he wasn't going back now. He'd made his choice, and even if it had been wrong, he was sticking to it, and dealing with the consequences. He was also beginning to think that maybe he should ask Alex before making any decision, because as of late, any decision he made was a stupid one that he regretted making.

When Alex pulled the truck to a stop, he pushed the door open and stepped out. He was starting to get somewhat numb to the pain, but only just starting. It would be about another hour or so before it all went away. Once again, he submitted to Alex's help, allowing her to support him as they walked. He too was taken quite by surprise when the door opened and someone was standing there in the doorway. He looked up at whoever it was, but for the light behind them he couldn't tell what they looked like. Even if he had been able to see them, he wouldn't have known who it was.

By Alex's reaction, he was guessing that it was her friend who was supposed to be coming tomorrow. She had told him that it had been a long time, years actually, since she had seen her, and he was guessing that if it wasn't for him, she'd have instantly hugged her friend. Not wanting to hinder her greeting more than he already had, he pulled out of Alex's arms, and stepped over to the porch railing. He leaned back casually on it, making it appear that he was quite simply relaxed and out of the way, but he and Alex both knew that he was putting his weight on his arms and the railing to keep it off his leg. He had let Alex see his weakness, but no stranger would get such an "honor." Even if she was Alex's friend, he hoped Alex would understand that he simply couldn't do that. It was hard enough for him to let Alex see him like that, he didn't want anyone else too as well.

He pretty much made up his mind right there that he would head home. He didn't want to come between Alex and her friend, and by staying there...well, lets just say he would feel too much like he had intruded. Besides, it might give her the impression that he and Alex were living together, and that could be rather awkward. Anthony wasn't like that, he wasn't like most people these days. He was a strong believer in getting married before living, sleeping, or having sex with anyone. Sure call him old fashioned, but he wasn't going to change his mind. He loved Alex and couldn't wait for the day when he wouldn't have to worry about saying good bye at the end of the day, but he would wait. Yes, he and Alex had pretty much made out a few times, but that didn't matter...they loved each other and kissing was how people expressed that. But that was as far as he would go until he was married.

He decided he should say something about leaving, because he knew Alex was going to protest...he just hoped that this time he wouldn't give in like he had every other time. He did love Alex, and she probably did know what was best for him, but he felt bad for keeping these two from each other. He figured it had probably been her friend calling her when they were at the diner to tell her that she had arrived early, but she had ignored it because of him. Now he wasn't going to take the blame for keeping them apart even more. He just cared about her enough to know when he should go...and the way he saw it, he should go now. I should go... He said, slightly breaking off at the end as a tremor of pain ran through his body. Good lord that was bad timing, now Alex was sure to make him stay. She still had his keys, but even if she had given them back to him and then told him that he had to stay he would. He'd submitted himself to her enough times tonight that he really didn't feel like arguing. What Alex said would be law, he wouldn't protest.