charlie}} Baby i'm addicted

[hayleywilliams]

Hayley let down her head, as she let out a tear. Hayley was afraid if she started crying, the tears wouldn’t stop raining down. And they didn’t. She held on to the heroine, is if it were her life. Wait, scratch that. Heroine was her life, now. It wouldn’t change, and she wouldn’t change. Hayley was trying to stay clean, she honestly tried. But she felt like her throat was closing up, and she couldn’t breath without the heroine. Was she really that addicted? No, she wasn’t. Yes, she was. Hayley knew she was. She knew it. She closed her eyes as she remembered the first time she heroine. ‘She’d only do it once.’ Hayley said. But here she is saying that, for the tenth time.

Hayley used to be beautiful. She used to be a role model for God sake. Look at her now. Hayley’s eyes were no long brown, but a yellow green color. They were constantly glazed, because if Hayley wasn’t high or drunk, she was hung-over. What better way to treat a hang over by getting right? She used to be thin, and now she was looking nearly anorexic. Hayley ate like a cow, and she still had a weight issue. Poor, girl. Hayley’s skin was so pale, you would never think she’s alive. Hayley used to be beautiful. Hayley used to be beautiful. She used to be fucking beautiful.

Tonight she sat in the Ally way, alone at eleven at night. She was the only one that was there, she thought. Hayley looked like a runaway bride. Her attire was as if she was one. It was a short old fashion looking dress. It was buttoned from the top down to the middle of the blouse. She was wearing white convers. The only make up she had on, was running down her face faster than you could say “hey baby”. She didn’t want to do it, but she yelled. She didn’t yell words, she just yelled.

[Charlie Parker]

The dark of the summer night seemed to have chased away all life from the streets. A few street lamps flickered pathetically, failing miserably to shed their light on the roadway and illuminate the night. The moon had risen, but it was such a small sliver that it didn't make any difference in the darkness. It was just night, and it seemed that there was nothing either man or nature made that could change that. The crickets chirped out their tune and a few bats fluttered in and out among the deserted buildings, snatching up whatever unfortunate bugs happened to come within their grasp.

Foot falls, soft yet deafening in the still night, sounded through the darkness. Streets like this were not unknown to him, he had walked many of them, though usually he was astride a horse and had a gun strapped to his hip. He knew that though it may seem like some plague had killed off all life within the city limits, there was undoubtedly life happening. Probably some sort of crime being committed, someone falling in love under the stars, someone introducing their first child into the world. Life was always happening, that was one thing the night had no power over. Life ran its own course, unaltered by any act of nature.

Charlie was worried about Hayley. She'd seemed so...not like Hayley earlier. Then she'd started panicking saying she couldn't breathe. He wasn't sure if it was because she'd over dosed on drugs or if it was her body screaming at her to take more drugs. It was strange, how much he loved her. He'd actually arrested her and several other people a year or so back on a drug bust at the stable. He never imagined that he, "Officer Charles Parker," could ever fall in love with someone who partook in almost everything he was supposed to be putting a stop to. But he had. Sure, he wasn't a policeman anymore, but it was completely against his intuition to love her. Heart always trumps head though, he was no exception.

Instead of going to Hayley's house though, he headed down the darkened streets, knowing that she wouldn't be home but somewhere out here. As he walked in silence, he heard her voice in an almost strangled yell. No words were uttered from her, it seemed more like a cry of frustration and perhaps even helplessness. She wasn't far from where he was now. He turned down the ally, which was even darker than the street, and saw her there looking miserable and like the whole world was crashing down on her. She looked worse than she usually did when she was on drugs or drunk, and he wasn't sure if it was because she was high or drunk or if she was having the world's worst withdrawal.

He continued down the ally way and lowered himself down beside her, wrapping his arms around her frail body. She was so tiny, it seemed like if he held her too tightly she would break. I love you Hayley, He said softly, I'm here for you. He had promised her when they'd admitted that they loved each other that he would always be there for her. He promised her that until his dying breath he would be her "anti-drug." So far it had been a struggle with her addictions, but he wasn't giving up on her. Not now, not later, not ever. She needed him most right now, and he wouldn't abandon her in her hour of need.

[hayleywilliams]

Hayley thought she heard someone coming, and was about ready to take off. She tried to get up, and run away. She tried to runaway from the possible person that could come after her. The police, a rapist, possibly a figment of Hayley’s imagination. But once she saw who it was, her eyes filled up with so much relief, she almost started washing away the sad tears with the good. Hayley tried to smile, but she felt to week to do so. Hayley looked passed Charlie, expecting to see some angel or something tell Hayley it was time for her to go. Time for Hayley to die. ‘Come on’ she expected whatever it was to say. ‘your going to hell’.

Hayley nestled her head in Charlie’s arms, feeling as if she was a child, and he was her mother. “Charlie I-“ She took a breath of air, and slightly giggled. She felt like she was in a soap opera. Funny huh? Hayley was always the teenage drama queen, and now she felt like she was in one tree hill. Is this what the worlds come to? Her eyes tried to meet his eyes. Hayley kissed Charlie on the cheek gently. ”Charlie, I felt like I was going to die. I needed to. I was dieing.” Maybe a bit of an over reenactment, but withdrawals felt that way. She felt so awful. Hayley didn’t want to be seen like this. When she was high on heroine, she was a different person. Cocaine made he stupid and immature, heroine made her just the opposite. It made her see what she was becoming.

She picked up the needle ejected with her blood, and handed to Charlie. Half of Hayley was expecting him to stick it in her eyes, kill her right then and there. The other part expected him to set it down, and do nothing. Hayley’s eyes rolled over to her right, as they often did when she was under the influence. “Charlie I need you. Look at me. Look how fucking ugly I am. You don’t deserve me; you deserve the dream girl you’ve always wanted. I high doubt I’m that girl.” Hayley hugged him as tightly as she could, and placed her head on his chest. She felt herself starting to shake. It didn’t worry her, it always happened. Not to mention it was chilly, and Hayley had almost nothing on her body.

[Charlie Parker]

Charlie sat in silence, holding onto Hayley as if he was holding onto his life. He kept her close to him, but not in a strangling hold that she couldn't escape. He heard each and every word she said, but his mind was wandering. Wandering back to the night he had first met her. It had been a night not unlike this one out at the park. He'd been walking his dog and was heading home when the flash of metal caught his eye. He altered his course and headed towards it. There he could Hayley with her dog in her lap and a razor in her hand, and he was pretty sure she was high too. She'd handed it to him, expecting him to use it the same way she had been. He didn't though, and had just handed it back to her on her request.

Next thing he knew she was pleading with him not to hurt her, and then was hugging him before he could even react to her begging. He'd dealt with a lot of people as a policeman who had been pretty messed up, but none of it had prepared him for meeting Hayley. He was quite taken aback by her, and was completely at a loss as to what to do. Finally, he'd found the words to speak and told her that he wanted to help her, if she would let him.

The next time he met her, she was completely drunk at the club. She'd attempted to stand when she saw him and about collapsed into his arms. Then another girl had come up behind him and "claimed" him to be hers. Hayley went on to say that they could share him and started asking him if he wanted to "get laid." He'd finally managed to get out of that one, but not until after Hayley had flashed the entire club. She was always doing something unexpected, and he was never prepared for any of it, but for some reason or another he'd still found himself attracted to her, and not in some sort of creepy "I want you for your body" type of way.

Next it was in the Soda Shoppe with Derrick that he met her. It was the first time he'd seen her sober and not high, and although he had to admit he liked her better like this, he still liked her just as much every other way. Of course, he hadn't said anything to her there, not with Derrick standing there and the other girl there as well. No, he'd kept silent, though he was beginning to wonder if fate was telling him to just come out and say it since he was running into her everywhere he went.

It hadn't been too long after that that they'd run into one another online and covertly told each other that they loved each other. She then sprung the news on him that she had a son and had expected him to hate her. He didn't though, and had promised her that nothing could change his mind about her and that he would love her forever and for always. He'd kept that promise, and here he was, sitting in a dark ally with his arms encompassing her terribly thin body, telling her again that he loved her and was there for her. It didn't matter how many times he had to say it, he would keep doing so until she knew it for certain.

He took the needle in his hand, inwardly wanting to smash the thing against the ground and destroy it and her drug problem in one fell swoop. Outwardly though, he kept that calm and cool composure and silently placed the needle on the other side of him, and put his arm back around her. You're right Hayley, He said after a moment, I don't deserve you. Who am I to be the one to call the most beautiful girl on the planet my own? I've done nothing to make myself worthy of that. He paused, going over what she had said in his mind.

I'm not going to lie to you, He continued, A few years ago I never would have put myself with someone like yourself; but the first time I saw you, that night in the park, I knew that you needed me, and it was because you needed me that I needed you Hayley. You're not the dream girl I've always wanted, but you're the only girl I could ever want now. You have become that dream girl. No one else will do, I won't have any other but you. He paused again, for some reason, he wasn't disappointed in her for using the drugs tonight. Getting out of drugs was no easy thing, and she'd been doing better...or so it seemed. If she got to the point that she thought she was dying, then obviously, she was resisting it, and if she was resisting it then she would probably be taking less of it.

He pulled his coat off and wrapped it around her shoulders. He knew the night was cold, but he was more likely to be able to resist the cold than she was. Besides, he'd give anything for her, even his own life if it came to that. That's what love it Hayley, He said, continuing again after a moment, It's unconditional.

[hayleywilliams]

Hayley hugged him close. She didn’t want to lose him. Now, or ever. She wanted him to stay with her forever, and for some reason Hayley’s heart thought he would. But her heart lifted as well as her smile, when he called her beautiful. The men Hayley had been with (and that had been far too many people to count) had called her sexy, stunning, adorable, and cute. No one had every called her beautiful before, at least any long term relationship and said it like they meant it. “Charlie” She began to say half way smiling and looking up at the stars. She watched them sparkle, and felt a swift on inspiration run through her veins. She looked into his eyes before se finished her sentence. “If at all, I don’t deserve you. You’re the very first one who didn’t want to have sex with me the first date. You’re the first one who didn’t date me because I was once famous. You’re the first one who didn’t dump me because of my son. You’re the first one who loved me. You deserve any girl. So why be with me? I’m so low class.”

Hayley would have tried to kiss him, but something told her to hold back. “As a kid, I was into the emo scene. I was all ‘ooo’ look at that guy in skinny jeans. I would drool over them, even though I know many of them preferred thingys than what I had to offer anyways. I remember when I would get high on Angel dust, or PCP, I went totally psycho and fucked every boy I laid eyes on. Sex was my concept of love. You’re the one who changed it. And yea, you could be the one for me. I really never liked long term relationships, but you’ve changed my opinion.” Her Tennessee accent flowed out of her mouth like water from a waterfall. Usually she would have blushed. But she felt like she could be herself in front of Charlie, even though Hayley was a little high. Hayley accepted the jacket and thanked him, buy nearly falling right into his arms. ”I could see myself spending my whole life with you Charlie parker.” Hayley always said that. But this time, she meant it.

[Charlie Parker]

Charlie once again fell silent as Hayley spoke. It was true, he probably was the only guy who Hayley hadn't "lured into her bedroom." He just wasn't that sort of guy. He was the kind of person who wanted to actually find that someone who he would spend eternity with, not just some pretty girl for a one night stand. He wanted to find the girl that he could love and spend every moment of his life with. Not just some girl who was looking for nothing more than a quick fling. At first, he had been afraid that Hayley would be one of those girls, but it didn't take him long to stop worrying about it.

Most people, when writing on these subjects, would now go on to explain how perfect she was for him, but I will not. You see, there was almost nothing about them that was perfect. He used to be a cop, the sort of person who would completely dislike someone like Hayley, who would hand cuff her and throw her in the back of the patrol car to have her locked up in jail for a while if she handed him the very needle she'd used for drugs or if she was doing the drugs right next to him. He was the type of guy who was supposed to shun people like Hayley. Hayley was...well, Hayley. People who were into drugs and what not weren't supposed to love people like Charlie. It just didn't happen...at least, not until Hayley and Charlie met.

As she practically fell into his arms, he held her tighter, though still gently, not wanting to ever let go. Everything about this was so logically wrong, but it all felt so right. He had never been one to let his heart win over his head, but with Hayley, his whole world was turned upside down. Everything that he once called truth was thrown out the door now. Everything that had drilled into his head through long and unrelenting hours of training in law enforcement was forgotten. Everything that he knew about life was just useless. He didn't need any of it anymore. He had Hayley, and that was all he wanted and needed.

You're not low class. Charlie replied when she had finished. The world might try to pound that into your head and make you believe it; but remember that this is the same world that said we could never be together. The same world that said I'd kill myself before I fell in love with you. The same world that'll like to you day in and day out. Sure, her life was pretty messed up right now, but that didn't make her low class. When the hero of the story gets beat down, he's no less the hero than before. She was just struggling through some hard times, but she certainly wasn't low class...and if she was, then Charlie was right down there with her.

As for deserving any girl... He continued, a smile finally pulling at the corners of his mouth, I don't care if I could have the most sought after woman in the world. You're the one that I want, the one that I love with everything that is me. He didn't care what society thought about her, what they thought about him, or what they thought about the two of them together. He wasn't going to let the opinion of some dull headed idiot make up his mind for him. No sir, Hayley was the one for him, and he wouldn't trade her for the world.

When she said she could see herself spending her whole life with him, he had to agree. Since he'd met her, he couldn't see himself with anyone else. Sure, Hayley was only 19, and he was 21, but what difference did two years make? To him, none. I wouldn't have it any other way. He said, letting his hand drift down to hers and wrapped his fingers around her hand. He didn't think he could possibly be anymore in love with her than he was right now. Everything was just so right in his mind.

[hayleywilliams]

When Hayley was five, she had these dreams of dancing prince’s, and flowers of every which kind laid out on the dance floor, and her husband holding her hand tightly telling her how much he needed her. That was her definition of Prince Charming. She would dream of riding a prancing white Stallion, waving to the town’s people, smiling and there would be her prince, riding right next to her holding her hand. For most of her teenage years, her definition changed completely. Instead of flowers of every which kind, there was needles lying about. And the needles weren’t on the dance floor; they were in a heroine shooting gallery. Instead of riding a horse, she was riding in a cop car, and there was her husband. All ‘high’ and sexy. Hayley didn’t think Charlie was like that, and somehow Hayley thought he was the one, her real prince charming.

Hayley wasn’t perfect for him in the least bit. Wouldn’t he need a strong police wife? People like Hayley never even had the guts to like a cop, let alone love him. She had been drug busted once, and if Hayley remembered right he was the one who did it? Wasn’t it that time at the stable, her fuck buddies where high on cocaine and she was high on heroine AND cocaine? Hayley remembered riding the police car screaming to go out and enjoy her high. If Charlie was the one that arrested Hayley, and Hayley wasn’t sure he was, why would she ever love someone who did that to her? But she did. She couldn’t control who she loved, and even if she could it would be Charlie.

“Charlie” she whispered to him to him feeling protected in his presence. “I love you. If anything ever happens to me, I will always love you. Charlie, I’m so scared to die.” It would be hard to believe for most people, because wasn’t Hayley doing this she knew could kill her? Yes, she was. But Hayley was doing them as an escape, and now she wanted to get better. She didn’t want to die. Not unless Charlie came with her to death, which would be impossible. No two people could die at the same time, could they? Hayley shivered at the thought of dyeing. Why was she thinking about death anyway?

Hayley listened to him with her heart, and ears. She wasn’t low class? “So druggies aren’t low class? That isn’t what /they/ told me. That isn’t what life told me. That isn’t what my mother told me. Please don’t kill yourself Charlie, because I’ll die if you do.” Hayley kissed him on the cheek, gently. Had she heard him wrong? Was he saying he loved her? Hayley smiled sweetly, which was incredibly rare. She squeezed his hand as if she was telling him she needed him. Hayley needed him to breath. Was that what love is? They came from different worlds in Hayley’s eyes, but now he was her world.

Hayley’s eyes glazed over as they did before, before Hayley caught a firm view of her world, Charlie. “I don’t care if you were the ugliest man on the planet, which you are not by the way, I love you. I’d shoot myself straight to the heart if I ever saw you with anybody else. I could stab myself if I was ever in bed with anyone else. I fucking love you, Charlie. Now I know what love is. Love is not being able to breath without you there.”

She smiled, and kissed him again.

” I want help. I want to get clean.”

[tanner]

They talk about irony all the time, but usually in relation to some movie or T.V show. It doesn’t really happen in real life does it? Well, occasionally it does. There are small ironies, like dreaming about something that later happens, or talking about someone and then they walk up, or meeting someone in the last place both of you ever thought you would see the other. Then there are the ironies that are rare and far between. The ironies that happen only once or twice in a life time. The ironies that change life as you know it. Such irony had been fate’s twisted sense of humor in Charlie's life, none of them had been in any way pleasant, and all of them had nearly destroyed him, until now.

Charlie had been your typical teenage guy, full of himself, thought he was invincible and all that good stuff. Graduating at the age of 16 didn’t help any of that at all. He was smart, athletic, and popular. He was the kid that everyone wanted to be, and he took it all for granted. He took it for granted that is, until fate’s first irony hit. After high school he’d trained to be a policeman. In his off time, he would hit all the clubs. Unfortunately, on the job one night, he had to go to one of the clubs he went to regularly, and make an arrest. Someone who knew him, and was exceedingly drunk, got mad at him for “betraying them.” Just as Charlie cuffed the guy he was arresting he turned around to take him out to the patrol car that had just arrived and BAM! A bullet to the chest. How was that for a thank you for arresting an armed and dangerous man who was wanted for three counts of first degree murder and possibly saving our lives?

Next irony to hit. He was deathly allergic to morphine which happened to be the only drugs the medics had on hand. Turns out it was the only drug anyone had on hand, and he would have to wait 24 hours before anyone could get anything he could actually take. Imagine getting shot and having to deal with the pain for 24 hours with no meds to ease it a bit. It was more than pain, it was like walking through hell and barely making it out alive. At one point it got so bad he wished that bullet would have been three inches down and four inches to the left…his heart. He wished he could just die so that the pain would go away.

When he had joined the mounted police, he had wanted to do something dangerous that involved horses, and this seemed like the best way to get that. Unfortunately, fate decided to turn that on him as well. While riding down the street one night on the late shift, they stopped to check out a car that had the plates pulled off. As they’d expected, it was stolen. Also as expected, the guy who’d stolen it had run out of gas, parked it on the side of the street, and was passed out on the back seat as drunk as anyone could possibly get and still be alive. While Charlie’s partner called it in, Charlie was over by the car attempting to get the guy to stand up long enough for him to get cuffs on him and keep him awake long enough to explain his rights…not an easy task. That was when he heard the screech of tires. He turned around just in time to see a van come roaring around the corner and head directly for his partner and his waiting horse. Before he could say even so much as a word, both of them were lying on the cold hard ground. The man was dead, the horse dying.

In one night, the two things he had wanted most were taken from him. The danger had killed his partner, his close friend. The danger had killed his horse, his closest companion. Every time he heard a gunshot now he could see the barrel of that gun against Brigadier’s head, he could see the blood everywhere on the street. He couldn’t take it, everything he had joined for no longer brought him pride, no longer thrilled him. In fact, it only haunted him day in and day out. He left the force, never intending to return, though the possibility was still there.

Finally, the last irony in his life. This irony was sitting beside him, and this irony was not one he considered one of those cruel twists of fate. This one he considered more of an act of fate to make up for all those others that life had thrown at him. Hayley had asked him several times...when she was high...to marry her, and he had always just shrugged it off. Now though, it didn't seem quite so ridiculous. Sure, nothing like that would be happen for a long while, but it was still feasible in the future. So if he thought that, why not just marry her right then? As before mentioned, Charlie was the sort of guy who wanted to make sure he had found the one. He was pretty sure he had, but only time could tell. Besides, she was still only 19, and in his opinion, that was pretty young to be getting married.

Only reason I could ever come up with for killing myself would be if I lost you Hayley. He said in response. He had Hayley and Brig now to live for, he didn't have any reason to kill himself, and he wasn't planning on ever going that route. Sure, he'd wanted to way back when on the day he'd been shot, but he'd never even thought about it since then. He had too much to lose by killing himself. There were too many people that cared for him, and that he cared for in return...especially Hayley. He'd found himself thinking about her more and more often, and he knew why.

Usually, love would make a man completely submitted to the woman. Her wish would become his command. It wasn't that way for Charlie. If it was, well, they'd both probably be dead by now. He knew that Hayley needed someone who would be strong for her. Someone who could be the eye of the storm where the waves are calm and still. She needed someone who could pull her back out of the dark alley she was sitting in and into the sunlight. He wanted to be that person, and now, he was pretty sure he could be.

What she said next though came as sort of a surprise. Sure she was always saying how she hated doing drugs, but he hadn't ever said she wanted help, that she wanted to get clean. That was like going from a baby crawling on the floor to an Olympic runner in half a second. It was a huge improvement. Charlie wasn't sure if she meant she wanted "professional" help, as in a rehab type thing, or if she just wanted help from those around her. Either way, he was going to be right there with her, to help her and take care of her.

I love you Hayley, He replied, returning the kiss, I'm always here for you, I want to help you.

[hayleywilliams]

Hayley wasn’t sure what life is. She knew what it was, but doesn’t know what it is. So many people had their own views on it. Many say it was to live afterlife, and many say it was to make you stronger as a person. But Hayley didn’t want known people’s opinions. She wanted the exact definition, in a true statement on what life was all about. She wanted to know if living was worth it, but with Charlie deep in Hayley’s heart, she knew living was worth it. She knew it.

Was life about hurting someone? Hayley has hurt many people in her past. The time in second grade where her best friend maddie wanted to spend the night. Hayley invited someone else, and Maddie told Hayley’s mom she couldn’t stop crying, because she thought she was Hayley’s best friend. Or the time she told her father she hated him, and there were tears in his eyes. Hayley seemed to be telling a lot of people she hated them, like her grandfather before he died. Hate was a really strong word, and Hayley used it often. Charlie was probably the only person right now, that she ever told she loved them.

Was life about becoming someone’s hero? Hayley never had anyone look up to her, though. Well maybe she was famous (in a small town getting famous could be catching a big fish), but most people who knew her found her as an example on who not to become. No one know how hard that was, expect for herself. Hayley looked into Charlie’s and smiled at him, though the look on her face showed sadness. “Do you know what it’s like, to be an example to people? Not in the good way. An example for people not to become? Hayley held his hand tighter, so tight that it hurt. But she didn’t care.

Or, was life about loving someone? Where you on this earth to love someone? Was love that great of a feeling, that you had to put up with so much shit only to get loved as a reward? Hayley couldn’t disagree on her thought. Loving someone was worth it. Loving Charlie was worth it.

”Charlie, I would never leave you babe. I don’t lie. Well, I don’t lie to you. I would kill myself if I lied to you.” She reassured him. Hayley was still high, but she meant every word that came out of her head. She grabbed his chest and tried to French kiss him. Hayley was expecting him to resist.

Hayley needed professional help, she didn’t want to. She wanted Charlie. ”Help me, Help me get clean.”

[FUCKING CRAPPY]

[Charlie Parker]

For some reason, Charlie was having a difficult time coming up with an answer to her question. As a policeman, people should have looked up to him, but there were so many people that hated the law enforcement that he was sort of straddling the line between yes and no. He sighed, and after a moment or two, replied. I don't really know. He said honestly, Some people would say they wanted to be like I am...or was. But others, mostly the ones who are doing things against the law, would never want to do what I did. He paused for a moment, then went on. A lot of people look at me as the one not to be because I quit. All of the officers who had known him understood why he couldn't take it anymore and quit. However, he knew that there were others out there who saw him as the one who gave in under pressure, the weak link if you will. Sure that was nothing like what Hayley was going through, but most people had no idea how much grief he got for being the one who walked away.

Charlie believed every word that poured out of her mouth. Sure, she was high, but for some reason, he just knew that what she was saying was true. That was another part of love, a big part. Trust. It was a bit more difficult for him to trust Hayley, simply because of the whole drug thing, but he was working on it, and tonight...he trusted her with his whole being. He trusted that she wouldn't lie to him. He knew that she had in the past, about Josh for example, but at his simple words, "just tell me the truth Hayley," she'd come out and said exactly that, the truth. That was one of the reasons he found it so easy to trust her suddenly. She didn't seem to be able to lie to him and continue to do so when he asked for the plain and simple truth.

He had to admit, he was slightly taken off guard by her grabbing his chest and sudden attempt to French kiss, and he wasn't sure why. Before, he had always expected her to do something like that, just something unexpected, but tonight...tonight it was just different. He wasn't sure if it was a good different or a bad different, but he was leaning towards the former. Just something about the way she so wanted to leave drugs in her past even when she was high seemed to make everything a bit better. He knew she wanted to change, he could tell. To be perfectly honest, she was the first "druggie" who he'd ever seen so willing to come clean.

Contrary to her expectation, and even his own, he didn't resist her kiss. It wasn't a desperate sort of I'm kissing you because you're kissing me sort of thing. It was more of a, I'm in love with you and the moment is right sort of thing. It lasted only a moment though, considering she pulled away to talk again. This time to ask him for his help. For some reason, her plea scared him. Not in a way that he was afraid of Hayley, no not at all. It was a fear that he couldn't be all the help she needed. Whenever he'd dealt with someone on drugs in the past he'd just cuffed them and tossed them in the back of the awaiting patrol car and never saw them again...except a few that he'd arrested more than once.

He wanted to be everything Hayley needed, but there was that nagging fear that she would need more. I'll do what I can Hayley, but... He broke off, struggling to say what he so needed to, but I don't think it will be enough. Hayley would need someone around almost constantly to help her through the struggles of getting clean after being into drugs for so long. He had time to be there for her at all times, considering he still had a year of paid leave left from the government and so wasn't working. That wasn't the problem. The problem was the fact that he knew a lot of drug activity went on at night, and considering the fact that they pretty much lived across town from each other...well, that was a problem. Of course, that problem could be solved, but it wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world.

[hayleywilliams]

Hayley fiddled with her hair as she waited for an answer. The stars were so pretty, and so were his eyes. Hayley was a previous rock star, she knew she let many people down, and she was sure if anyone knew that killed Hayley. She never meant to let people down. If she ever let Charlie down, Hayley was dead. She would die. “It’s ok if you don’t know. I totally understand not knowing things. I’m not sure why I started taking drugs in the first place. I remember it was an escape from life. People didn’t treat like a human, because I was famous and now people treat me different because I’m a druggie. Charlie, I want to be like you hon. Charlie, you’re my hero.” Hayley looked up into his eyes, smiling. He truly was her hero, and Hayley wouldn’t doubt she loved him for a second. Hayley felt sorry for Charlie, she cried all night when she lost HER job. ”Charlie, if you didn’t quit, I would have never met you.” She said. It was true, and she was hopelessly in love with this man.

Hayley wished she wasn’t high when she said those things, but she was trying to talk through the drugs. Hayley was trying to stop her high, although she knew what was impossible. Hayley wanted to be normal now. She loved him. She wanted to let him now, she loved him. ”I love you, Mr. Police man. I love you.” Hayley had a feeling she wasn’t the easiest won in the world to trust, especially because of her history with sleeping around. All Hayley was doing was trying to find the right guy, she didn’t know she would only find a guy who wanted her to bang them up. Look at Charlie, he was the right one (she thought) for her. Hayley couldn’t lie to the one she loved. “I cant lie to you Charlie parker. I am hopelessly in love with you.”

Hayley laughed, and kissed his cheek. The she sat silent for amount, thinking about the future. What if she were to ever loose him? The thought of loosing Charlie was now flowing down her cheek. ”I don’t want to loose you.” She said, as a child would begging to spend the night at their friends house. Hayley looked into his eyes once more, she tended to do that a lot. She began to ask him a question.”Do you ever think about the future? ”