[open]But he'll never break my heart, like you did

[hayleywilliams]

Hayley's Face
Hayley's Hair
Hayley's Shirt
Hayley's Jeans
Hayley's Armwarmers
Hayley's Secret
Hayley's Horse

Hayley Williams.
x
[M]ake us hip, Make us it, Make us scene.
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“She’ll be ok.”

“Does she have any family members she can contact? You know, to tell them what’s going on?”

“I think she lives alone, with her cousin Josh Gustative.”

“His number is listed as a contact, here. His cell phone included. I’ll call it; tell him to get down here.”

“As soon as possible please.”

“Right, as soon as possible”.

Hayley listened as the doctor and nurse discussed what had happened last night. She was supposed to be dead, so why wasn’t she? And now they’re calling one of her best friends? Hayley was slightly confused. She saw up and noticed IVs and tubes running through her arm. Hayley coughed to signal that she was awake, and the nurse came running in. “Hello Hayley” she said with a smile. Hayley didn’t smile back, and only looked at her with hatred as if her eyes were going to kill the nurse. “How are you feeling”? Hayley studied the nurse’s shirt; it was covered in little pink unicorns. They made Hayley happy and she smiled slightly. Hayley still hadn’t answered the nurse, and saw her name tag. Her name was Jill. Jill didn’t think Hayley was going to talk, so she frowned.

“Your friend, Josh brought you in here as soon as he saw you bleeding in your shower.” Jill’s voice was kind, and loving. “Why did you want to die Hayley? Why did you cut yourself there?” Hayley counted the stripes on the wall. One, Two, Three. One, Two, Three. “Your such a beautiful young teenager, not to mention talented.” One, Two, Three. One, Two, Three. “But we found many other cuts on your stomach and your wrist. We also found drugs and Alcohol in your system. Would you like to tell me about that?” Hayley looked up at the ceiling. The color was pretty, and it reminded her of babies. Her baby. “Were going to say your suicidal Hayley. Your also Bi polar, Hayley and severely depressed. We’re going to put you on zanex and suggest that you see a councilor.” Hayley nodded her head. “But we’re going to allow you to leave now Hayley.

Hayley left the hospital with her pills, and tears in tact. She was sitting down in the back seat of Josh’s car studding the scenery that came by. It wasn’t anything to go mad about. It was mainly farmland, but she would see an oak tree every know and then. It was silent, though. Nothing but the sound of the car and Josh’s breathing could be heard. It being five in the morning, no one really wanted to talk. “What about Charlie?” Josh spoke firmly, in his German accent. Hayley blinked. She didn’t know how to respond. “Don’t you love him enough, to stay alive? Don’t you love me?’ Hayley blinked again. She didn’t want to talk today. She didn’t want to tell anybody anything, expect her mind. She wasn’t sure she could trust that. “Why aren’t you talking to me? Have you gone madly insane and forgotten how to talk?” Hayley let down a tear, and a sniffle. ‘I..I…I…I..” She stuttered. Josh lifted his left eyebrow. “Love, you and charlie and my horsey.”

Josh stopped the car. “Want to go see you’re horsey, Hayley?” Josh hadn’t heard Hayley say she wanted to see her horse in over a month. Only her drug dealer. Hayley nodded. The truck immediately turned around, for it was only about six in the morning and her pills weren’t due till her stomach was full of lunchtime food. It was only time for breakfast, and Hayley never ate it. The drive was s short one to the stable, and Hayley had come running out of the car. Josh wasn’t going to stay with her, but he knew she’d always have her cell phone on. He’d call her. Leaving her wasn’t the smartest thing he ever did, but it was however time Hayley needed to be alone.

She wondered through the stables, looking for her horses. Hayley owned three. Riot (a five year old black Arabian stallion), Legendary (a seven year old palomino quarter horse stallion), and Sonny ( a four year old buckskin quarter horse stallion). Hayley said hello to each and every one of them, but chose to take 14.2 hands Sonny on a trail ride. Just him and Hayley. Hayley and him. Hayley led him out of his stall carefully with his black velvet halter and headed to the tack room to apply his western saddle on his back. First she groomed him, admiring hoe beautiful her pony was with his golden coat and his black main. She made sure his hooves were clean, and his face was brushed before she applied his cotton blanket on. It was a nice little thing, but didn’t compare to anything she would use when she went out barrel racing. Next Hayley through his black saddle on his back. It was a light little thing, and very convent.

Hayley made sure he was nice and tacked up, before she placed his black leather rains on the horse’s head and mouth. Hayley didn’t look like she belonged here. She wore white converse, with black skinny jeans. Her shirt his her waist (which was a thin fabric of black and red stripes, with a skull plastered on the front of it0 and in her eyes, that was normal. Hayley wore mismatching arm warmers as well, in fear that someone would see all the cuts and scars that’d come to be, and not to mention…. Hayley stopped thinking about things she didn’t need to think about and hoped on her horse. Before they knew it, they where cantering on the trail. Alone. His hoof beat could be heard a mile away, and Hayley’s hair lifted in the wind.

"So sonny, I cut a bit to deep….”

Wordz: 1014
Comments: Yay (: please try and make yours long.

[spiritlover]

Abbie

Baby, look here at me
Have you ever seen me this way
I’ve been fumbling for words
Through the tears and the hurt and the pain
I’m gonna lay it all out
On the line tonight
And I think that it’s time
To tell this uphill fight goodbye

Have you ever had to love someone
That just don’t feel the same
Tryin’ to make somebody care for you
The way I do
Is like tryin’ to catch the rain
And if love is really forever
I’m a winner at a losin’ game
I know that baby, you tried
To find me somewhere inside of you
But you know you can’t lie
Girl, you can’t hide the truth
Sometimes two hearts
Just can’t dance to the same beat
So I’ll pack up my things
And I’ll take what remains of me

Shutting the radio off in her F-350, Abbie stepped out into the early morning. The sun had not quite cleared the top of the trees, the shadow of early morn still cast over the lands. Through the branches and leaves a small bit of light peeked through, engulfing the world in a golden glow, warm and inviting. But none of this glorious beauty was noticed. Nothing mattered anymore. The test results had just been faxed to her this morning. Just as she had gotten up. The world was rejecting her. Abbie had just found out about the cancer. But she did not know if she was going to live or die.

She walked across the gravel and into the barn. Met by a series of aromas she normally stopped to take in she just hurried on, paying them no mind. She found her way to her geldings stall, the large dark bay thoroughbred she loved stood waiting. She threw open his stall door and wrapped her arms around his neck and felt the tears begin to flow from her chocolate eyes and onto his sleek coat. She felt blindly at her own stomach, as if.... as if the tumor growing in her kidney could be felt. She then threw herself to the stall door and grabbed Stardelbar's halter and lead rope.

Fastening the lead rope and halter into a make shift bridle she put the "reins" over his head. Leading him out and into the morning breeze she swung herself onto his back and began to walk. She had nothing on him besides the halter, and was in shorts and a tank top, but she could care less. And now they were galloping. Free as birds over the prarie, they flew, and for a moment she forgot everything except the moment.

But one is always dragged back to reality. And what made her come back was the sight of another horse ahead of her. And the rider on its back. Hayley. Her former best friend, and currently the only one she wanted to hit over the head, and be comforted by at the same time. But it would never happen again. The friendship I mean. It was a sad fact, though still a small voice in the back of Abbie's mind said there was still hope... still hope...

Now she slowed Stardelbar to a canter, the wind whipping her tears onto her cheeks, the mascara and eyeliner from the night before running in long black streaks down her golden tan face. Her blonde hair was a mess, and she was normally OCD about her hair being perfect. So she looked bad, and unlike herself, and just plain horrible. And here was Hayley, with her hair and her life, no matter how screwed up, and a boy friend who cared, and parents somewhere. Everything Abbie had lost, or was in the process of losing...

[charlie]

I was working on Triggers stall today. I was just about done when I saw Hayley come in. I slightly waved to her but she didnt notice me. I could tell something was wrong. I didnt like to ask but I knew talking about it would make her feel better whether a person denys it or not. I set the shove aside and went to go get Trigger tack. Trigger whinnied for me as I left his side. I shook my head hearing the horse in the tack room. Grabbing his sorrel saddle and hackmore I rushed back to him to catch up with Hayley. I threw the saddle onto Triggers Back postioning it right. He snorted at how fast I did it. Sorry boy, I said and cinched the saddle. I grabbed the hackmore off the stall door and turned to face Trigger. I took off his halter and slipped on his hackmore easily. Once his hackmore was on and well fitted I took the reins and walked him out of the stables. I could see Hayley heading down the trail at a canter. I mounted quickly and tapped Triggers sides making him canter after her.

[Charlie Parker]

There he stood, the big golden pelted Belgian Thoroughbred cross. His thick legs planted firmly on the ground, his wide chest thrust forward, his large head held high. Across his back was a light navy blue saddle pad with a gold stitching along the bottom and sides, and embroidered into the blanket, the gold letters U.S. Atop that was the black leather saddle with a gun holster attached to the side. Charlie took a deep breath as he looked at the big horse all dressed up in the typical police horse uniform. He looked so much like Brigadier, it was difficult to look at for him. It had been over two years since Brigadier had been killed in the hit and run, but even so, Little Brigadier, or Brig as Charlie called him, was the exact likeness of his namesake. There were a lot of memories tied up in the gear that Brig now wore.

He stripped the tack from the horse and returned it to the tack trunk where it had been sitting since the night of the other horse's death. He then replaced the tack with the standard tack he had been using for training Brig. He hadn't decided yet if he and Brig would join the police force or not, but right now, he didn't really want to think about it all that much. It took hardly five minutes to get Brig tacked up and ready to go. He was the world's most friendly horse, and he didn't mind the tack at all. For this reason, training the horse to saddle, bridle, and rider had taken little more than a few months. He had taken to all three like he'd been doing it his howle life.

Charlie easily pulled himself up onto the back of the 17 hand horse, feeling the animal shift his weight beneath him. This would be their first real ride outside of the round pens, and he could sense the heavy horse's excitement. He turned him towards the trail, and moved him forwards. His big feathered hooves plodded along the path in a prancing sort of gait. Surprisingly for his build and size, he had an exceptionally smooth gait that was a complete dream to ride. He responded to the lightest of commands translated through the reins from Charlie as he trotted along. When they reached the legendary trail, he gave him his head a little, and let him canter for a few minutes.

After a while, he pulled the Belgian up as he felt his mind drifting and he wanted to make sure he didn't slip up and let Brig take off on some unknown side trail and get them lost. The hospital had called him not too long ago and told him that Hayley had been found almost dead from cutting herself. He had asked them to give him updates on her condition, and they had promised to do so, but none had come. Typical. He'd never really liked hospitals all that much, ever since he'd been shot and the only drug they had there on hand was one he couldn't take because of negative reactions. Now he disliked them even more. He had no idea what was going on with her. He would have gone there himself to find out, but he'd never done well in hospitals and didn't want to be in the way. Still, if he didn't find something out by the time he got back to the stable, he was going to go there and find out. He didn't care about his personal opinion of the place, Hayley was his world, he wasn't going to stand aside while she died.

Not too long after pulling Brig back down to a walk, he saw several horses ahead. One looked vaguely familiar...the tack shop. Yes, he'd met her in the tack shop. Her name was also Charlie. The other...he couldn't place a name on her, but he had seen her at the dance when Hayley had been high. As he recalled, Hayley hadn't been too happy to see her. The third...Hayley. It had to be. Who else in pinewood had black pink and green hair? No one that he knew of. He gave Brig enough rein to pick up his light lope again, and brought him up along side Hayley and her horse. Brig seemed to catch on to the idea and slowed to Hayley's horse's pace without Charlie telling him to do so.

True to Charlie's assumption, it was in fact, Hayley. All of his worries flooded out of him. If she was here she had to be alright. At least he hoped so. Something still didn't look quite right in her expression. She almost didn't seem like she was quite all there. Hayley.... He started, but paused, unsure as to what to say, Hayley, are you alright? he finally asked. He knew people had probably been asking her that question a lot, but he didn't care. He loved her, he had every right to ask if she was alright.

[hayleywilliams]

Hayley's Face
Hayley's Hair
Hayley's Shirt
Hayley's Jeans
Hayley's Armwarmers
Hayley's Secret
Hayley's Horse

Hayley Williams.
x
[M]ake us hip, Make us it, Make us scene.
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Hayley paid attention to all that was around her. The sun and the clouds. It’d been no earlier than seven, and Hayley wondered why it was even light outside. Hayley smiled when she saw the birds above her. She paid more attention to them than she had the nurse this morning. Thinking about the nurse made her cringe. Hayley didn’t like her. She seemed almost fake, like Jill didn’t want to be there with Hayley. Like she’d regretted letting her out of the hospital instead of wrapping her in a straightjacket. Hayley didn’t like her fakeness. But she’d said she’d call Hayley, and check up on her, and soon enough her phone began vibrating. Sonny jumped a little, and Hayley did as well before she flipped up her phone and awaited any voice to speak.

“Hello, Hayley. This is Jill from the nurse’s office.” Hayley didn’t speak, and slowed Sonny down to a fast walk. Sonny wanted to trot, but Hayley spoke through her pulling of the reins she didn’t want to trot right now. “Oh dear, who do I even know your there?” Hayley breathed heavily, trying to show Jill she was there. Hayley never really was found of nurses. It reminded her to much about her grandfather’s passing, on how he died of Meth..and how he was terribly ugly from the minute he took the drug. Hayley remembered telling him when she was in elementary school that drugs where bad, and not to take him. He slapped Hayley. Or the drug did. It was fifteen years later, and Hayley could still feel the slap growing harder on her cheeks every time she thought about him. “Hello?” The nurse asked. Hayley coughed. “Have you cut in the last hour?” Hayley shook her head. “Please don’t Hayley, your cousin really cares about you and I do too and….”

Hayley hung up her cell phone, for it was about to die and turned it off. She didn’t want that Jill lady to stalk her, let alone call her. She looked like she was forty, or sevety four. Hayley thought she heard more horses. Hayley looked around and she did see another horse. Sonny was finally allowed to trot, but Hayley gave him the single to lope and he obeyed. The horse she saw was being ridden by Abbie. Abbie used to be Hayley’s best friend and her everything. Hayley remembered telling her she was pregnant very long ago and even though the baby was in her cousins Josh’s hands, it was still very important part of Hayley’s life. She didn’t understand why Abbie didn’t like Hayley when she was high, back then. She’d even gotten into a fist fight with her. Then Hayley remembered her grandfather again. Hayley wondered if Abbie could still feel her slap today..

Hayley didn’t want Abbie to know what she’d done a few hours ago. But Hayley was still a little “high” in a sense from the pain of cutting so she’d try her best to act like Hayley. Hayley slowed down, and caught up with Abbie and her horse as they where on the left side of the pair. “Hey…” Hayley said, trying to sound rude although her tone was really quit sweet though her look on Hayley’s face wasn’t. “You’re looking mighty pretty today eh?” Hayley said pointing to the girl’s air. “Love the new hair style. Do you like mine?” She twirled around the strand of lime green. “I know how pretty it is, no need to waste precious time telling me sweetie. “ Hayley laughed at Abbie, although Hayley knew something was wrong. She was about to ask if she was all right, but didn’t want to. Simply because of that. “What’s a matter? Finally see how much you are flawed? Oh my God! You should go to the doctor”!


Hayley steered Sonny away from Abbie just a bit, as Hayley studied Abbie’s horse. It was pretty. Hayley smiled, then quickly faded to a depressed like state due to her bi polar mania. She hated it. She hated having such quick mood swings! It wasn’t fair at all. Not at all. She felt tears swell up inside of her brown eyes, and tried so hard not to cry. But one tear managed to slip out, and Hayley didn’t quit notice. Sonny nickered again and Hayley let out a chuckle. “You’re so silly.” She said to him as she patted him on his golden back. Hayley heard another horse and turned around. It was the girl Charlie. Hayley had always called her Charlie, but could she do that now that she was dating a Charlie? Hayley wasn’t as mad at Charlie as Abbie, and decided to make nice talk. Sonny slowed into a trot like Hayley had asked, and Hayley turned around to talk to the girl. “Hey Charlie”. She smiled, and winked. “Long time no see, and I’m sober this time…neat”. Hayley laughed at her own joke, even though it wasn’t really funny.

On the other side of Hayley, she’d seen Charlie (Parker). Parker was so cute, Hayley had to laugh. “I love…you.” She smiled at him and winced at the question he’d asked her. “I did it Charlie..” Hayley hung her head. “I cut to deep..”

Wordz: 914
Comments: DAMNIT! It's soo short. sorry guys.

[charlie]

By the time I came up to Hayley she was already accompanied by two others, Abbie and Parker. I slowed Trigger to a walking pace next to Hayley and the others. Hey Hayley, I said. I smiled to her trying to be friendly. Looking to Parker I nodded slightly tipping my hat. Trigger walked quite fast trying to get infront. I held him back though trying to stay at an even pace with the others. I listened to what Hayley was saying. I wanted to say good job for being sober but wasnt sure if that was my place. I kept quiet listening to the conversation. I wanted to talk to Hayley alone but I couldnt find myself asking her. She was with Parker and I felt bad to be here. It was more or less the fact that I didnt have a partner.

[Charlie Parker]

He smiled slightly as she said she loved him, but the worry was coming back again. He could tell that something just wasn't right, and it scared the hell out of him. If anything happened to Hayley, he would never forgive himself. She needed someone to love her and care for her, and he was doing his best to be that person. It had hardly been a few weeks since they'd both admitted their feelings for each other, but already he felt like she would be the first and last girl he would ever really love. Sure, he'd had other girlfriends before Hayley, but this was different...really different. He couldn't say why or put his finger on one or two particular things that made it different, it just was.

A sinking feeling came over him as she said that she had cut too deep. The first time he had met her she had been cutting herself in the park, but nothing even close enough to this. Nothing close enough to getting her hospitalized. Deep down he had worried about that happening, but he had hoped so much that it wouldn't that now that it had happened...it terrified him to know that if she hadn't been found bleeding she would have died. Strangely enough, that had become his worst fear recently. Before he had worried about Brig and whether or not he should join the police force again and other such things. Now, all he could think about was Hayley, and he seemed to fear nothing but losing her. How could one girl completely turn his life around like this?

He wished he could have that same affect on her. He wanted to be the replacement for the drugs, cutting, and drinking, but it didn't seem to be working. He was silent for a moment after she said that, trying to come up with the right words to say. Brig and Hayley's horse were close enough together and Charlie and Hayley's legs were almost touching, even though Brig was quite a bit taller than her horse. Before he knew even what he was doing, Charlie's hand dropped down to her shoulder gently. Hayley, He said again, I will always be here for you and I will always love you. He paused yet again, not really caring if the other two girls heard what he said. It was true, there was no reason whatsoever to try to hide it.

I don't want to see you hurt...I don't want to lose you. I...can't... He paused yet again, the words were difficult to come, but so needed to be said, You're all I have Hayley, I can't...I won't live in this world without you. He meant it, every word. He just hoped that she would believe him, understand what he said. He needed her to understand, and it seemed like she needed to be able to believe that there was someone here on this earth who couldn't live without her and didn't want to have to do so. Hayley was his world now, everything else was shoved onto the back burner. He couldn't lose everything again, not now that he'd only just found it.

[spiritlover]

Abbie

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,

The pain in her eyes was almost sickening as the harsh words from Hayley were spit into her face, the venom behind them stinging every inch of Abbie's body. It was amazing to see that she was able to stay upright as the sob that broke from her body wrenched her foreward, her chest feeling as if it had split into two completely pieces. And those pieces revealed a broken, shattered heart, barely beating, the will to live growing fainter and fainter.

What’s a matter? Finally see how much you are flawed? Oh my God! You should go to the doctor. That last statement was one of the last things her parents had said to her. And they had accompanied her to Europe, not to help her find the specialists, but to go to clubs and have fun. But when they had died -- it had crushed Abbie from the inside out.

And in the lobby of the hospital she had shrank into a distant corner, one where she seemed hidden and fallen to the ground. No tears came, and no sound, no breathing. Nothing for those first, fateful moments. Nothing. And she had walked out... without a sound or trace, and flew home. The funeral was nice and peaceful, and they were burried together. Under a big oak tree in one of the oldest cemetaries in Virgina, and after it was all said and done, the tears came. Slowly the memoried of their faces faded, vanishing forever into the mind of a ill girl, with god only knows how long, to live.

And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,

Now she was angry. At Hayley, at her parents, and at the world. She was just plain angry. And all those emotions, the toil, pain, anger, and hurt, were now spilling into the words she spoke to Hayley. Though, they were louder and more fierce.

So little miss Hayley rides again I guess? Thinking of only herself, of only her problems. Well I have a message for you! Your not the only one in pain! You are deffinantly not the only one suffering. The only difference is that you screwed your own life up. And I tried to help you.... Her voice dropped to a mere whisper... I really tried.

Now the tone turned to a pathetic sob.
I just lost my parents Hayley! And my life is slipping through the cracks too! Im dying....... of cancer in my kidney. You're only dying because you want to! Because you think of yourself superior to the rest of us! God Hayley! You could turn it all around and start over. And I am so damn jealous! I would give anything to know I was healthy again... just to know I could move on. And you take it all for grantid! All of it......

With that the tears came, fast and hard, rolling off her cheeks and onto her shirt. All of it had hit her fully as she had spoken the truth she hadnt wanted to hear. And now she was dying, with no one in the world to care. Not a single living relative, not a single friend that hadnt gone into drugs or alchol. If she died, her memories, the ones that anyone had of her, would fast fade into nothing and it would be like she had never existed...

[charlie]

I use to carry the weight of the world
Now all I want to do is spread my wings and fly

I listened to Abbies words. She seemed harsh at first but then turned apethetic. The mood change was quick. As she spoke of dying from cancer I felt my heart drop. My grandmother suffered from a type of cancer as well. But she was able to make it through. I felt out of place in this group. I had just returned from rehab myself and wasnt all these things anymore. I slowed Trigger to come head to head with Abbie. I placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. I didnt know what to say that would make the situation better. I pulled my hand back and looked to the other two for their reactions.

sry its short

[hayleywilliams]

[ Will reply later.]

[Charlie Parker]

{Mmks...Jess will wait I've got patience.}